Things To Do While Most Of The HIGH TIMES Staff Is At The Cannabis Cup

Okay, just because 98% of the HIGH TIMES staff left a handful of us here in New York holding the bong while they live it up at the 20th Anniversary Cannabis Cup doesn’t mean we can’t still have fun, right?

Here’s the bottom half of the top 10 things we staffers left behind are doing to keep what’s left of our sanity. Check back next week for the top 5 (assuming we last that long):

10. Cubical Exchange: Every ten minutes someone shouts "shift!" and we all move to a new cubical. This was exciting until I sat in a 3-month-old grilled cheese sandwich someone mailed to our ad department as a down payment on a classified – seriously, my pants smell like Louis Anderson after an Jazzercise session in a dumpster.

9. Bigger, Better Paraphernalia: Making bongs out of stuff lying around isn’t all that new but now that the office is practically deserted we can undertake much larger projects like Water Cooler Gravity Bong, Copy Machine Hash Press and Eight Foot Magazine Pipe 2004 (it’s basically a bunch of magazines duct taped together with a slide at the end but, more importantly, we finally found a use for all those bud-less issues from ’04).

8. Open Other People’s Mail: Some folks around here are receiving really excellent stuff. Incidentally, Jack, if you’re reading this, your grandmother wishes you a happy birthday. She did not, however, include any cash with the card…I don’t care what she tells you. Oh, and Sam, come on man, penis pumps don’t actually work…do they? Well, we’ll see.

7. Russian Weed Roulette: Our take on the classic. Pick a joint from the six on the table but remember, one is filled with coffee grounds. *Note: Game not as exciting when played with clear rolling papers.

6. No Pants Fridays!: I thought this was a good idea when I came up with it but the suggestion was met with skepticism and everyone went ahead and wore their pants today anyway. In fact, no one would talk to me when I was walking around without my pants on shouting T.G.I.N.P.F. …so, I guess we’re back to it being just regular Friday. Whatever.

Who needs the Cannabis Cup? 5 - 1 are coming your way next week.