High Horoscopes | Jan. 12, 2016


The HIGH TIMES weekly astrological forecast, complete with strain recommendations!

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In honor of Golden Globes this past Sunday, I would suggest that the past winner that most resembles you this week is Sir Ben Kingsley in Gandhi. The Mahatma has many of the qualities you will need to succeed: patience, compassion, conviction, persistence, and bravery. Like Sir Ben taking on such an iconic persona, you’ll also need to have the confidence to know you can pull off the daunting task by employing an egoless reverence. You are absolutely capable of finding the solution to your problems if you discover fresh tactics; thankfully unlike Bapu, you needn’t commit to them to the same degree to achieve success. Strain recommendation: Lemon Haze


Like 1983 Golden Globe winner Dustin Hoffman’s character Tootsie, you are ready to take some weird risks to reach your goal. Changing your perspective and devising a new strategy is key. And hey, Toots also knew how to have fun. It wasn’t all just bad soap opera lines and uncomfortable girdles; there was a whole lot of Jessica Lange to awkwardly lust after and French farce-style comedy to partake in! Get out there, make change happen, even if it means wearing someone else’s shoes for a little while. Strain Recommendation: Jack Herer


You are Jim Carrey in the Truman Show this week. Yes, a Golden Globe winner, but also the victim of a giant ruse. Not necessarily a mean one, but the wool has been pulled so softly over your happy face that you aren’t sure you’re not just being cuddled in a massive fluffy blanket. Be wary, but also accepting of other people’s mistakes. Their intentions were probably initially good. Maybe even let them continue making their ill-conceived choices for a while yet, to give them the chance to change their mind and help you break through it all unscathed. Strain recommendation: Strawberry Cough


Akin to Jack Nicholson’s ODC-ridden character in As Good As it Gets (1998 Golden Globe winner) you are susceptible to falling back on some toughly battled habits unless you are extremely diligent this week. Watch your patterns. You do have some universal energy on your side now though; harness it to help you fight your personal darkness. If you allow yourself to recognize that ‘the force’ is in itself neither good nor bad, but a tool to work with, as you will, you might be able to turn that energy in a positive direction. And your little dog too. Strain recommendation: Chemdawg


If you were to take a page from one of Meryl Streep’s many astounding Golden Globe-winning performances this week, it should be from her character in The Devil Wears Prada. The pointedly named Ms. Priestly is a career dynamo with an almost religious dedication to her métier. This makes her top pontiff at work, but her romantic relationships fall by the wayside. If you ensure to properly inform your assistant (or agenda) to keep you on schedule, organize your thoughts and motivations well, then some time for kinder and gentler moments can be eked out. Strain Recommendation: Cherry Pie


The long con can be a satisfactory game to play. Set aside for a moment any ethical doubts; watching a good plan come together can be a fascinating thing to behold. Many past Golden Globe winning performances were made by actors portraying characters who put long plans in action. One wonderful example of this was Nicole Kidman’s character in To Die For. That woman, with the charm of Rhett Butler and the face of Helen of Troy, had the soul of Shakespeare’s Iago. Take your time and enjoy watching your schemes come to fruition this week. Strain recommendation: God’s Gift


Last year’s Golden Globe winning film Boyhood focused on the home life of a broken family. Your home is the centre of everything this week. The emotional toll that family drama can take on you might age you 12 years in 165 minutes. Think of inventive ways to show your feelings of regret, vulnerability and love—just like Linklater did. You may feel drained by the end of this week, but at least everything should be put back into somewhat good working order. Strain recommendation: Permafrost


I’m sure many assume some struggling MFA student is hired to do extensive readings and then pass on their bullet points outlining the gist of the real person that a celebrity is to portray in the film version of their life. Not always so. Eddie Redmayne spent extensive time studying Stephen Hawking for his role in The Theory of Everything (Golden Globe winner last year), as did Blanchett for Elizabeth (‘99), Mirren for The Queen (’07), and Streep for The Iron Lady (‘12). If you do your research folks, the money will come. Yes you have great instincts, but that’s not enough this time. Go in prepared. Strain recommendation: Cinex


Surprisingly, the list of Golden Globe-winning films and performances about characters whose self-worth is drastically affected by their money struggles are almost none. The only one I could find was Fantine in Les Misérables, played by Anne Hathaway, who did not actually win (she did get the Oscar though). Please don’t think that just because Hollywood pays little attention to this problem that it’s not real. Take a solid look at your situation and adjust yourself accordingly, now. Lots of sad things can come with money worries; I wouldn’t want that to happen to you, dear Sag. Strain recommendation: Green Crack


Shake off the holiday Capricorn, seriously, it’s over! Get to work, and make a plan. You are ready to venture into the unknown, out of your home zone, into the wild. Borat (Golden Globe win for Sasha Baron Cohen,’07) did it when he travelled to the Western world, using his charm and complete ignorance to stumble through America with ease and success. No matter what you say about his personal grooming, he is a disciplined reporter. Now you must be a disciplined objective maker as you make your way through these new and wondrous lands. Strain recommendation: Flo


The week has finally arrived; you’ve had some false starts, which you faced with grace, and now you can to get to impressin’ everyone with your mad skills. But inside you are some questions that still need some mulling: try something unusual and ask for advice. The people in your life are chompin’ for the chance to pay you back for your daily kindnesses. Even Tom Hanks in Cast Away (Golden Globe winner ’01) needed Wilson to sound off to. But you have something better than a half-inflated volleyball: you have your love/friend/mom/pet. They are waiting—just say the word. Strain recommendation: Arjan’s Strawberry Haze


You are the Forrest Gump (Golden Globe winner ’95) of the zodiac these days, Pisces. Oddly equipped with random useful abilities and important contacts. You’ve done your years of military service, you’ve walked forever, you did the giant shrimp and the protests… sit back now and reflect on a simple life well led. Although nothing with Pisces is ever simple. Yes, you are approaching the end goal, but a quiet sunset from a farmhouse porch swing is not in your cards. You’re much too complicated for that. Maybe try another new career/city/relationship and start all over again? The excitement never ends with you. Strain recommendation: Papaya