Stoner Sex: Anal Sex, Lingerie, Low Libidos & Dank Ways to Date

Dear Hyapatia,
My wife and I had anal sex for the first time last night. It was marvelous! It was so special and intimate and totally different from normal sex. I wouldn’t want to do it all the time, but I think we should save it for special occasions. Today my wife says that it hurt her and that she is still sore from it and that she doesn’t want to do it again, ever! I know women have anal sex all the time, so it can’t be that bad. She said it hurt when we did it last night, but I was very slow and gentle, and we used lots of lube so I don’t see why it hurt her. Could there be something physically wrong with her? How can I get her to see that this is common and a lot of women do it without complaining? Do you think some strong indica would make her more likely to try anal sex again? — Maurice

Dear Maurice,
Just because many women have anal sex, don’t assume that it doesn’t hurt. It does. Regardless of how common it has become, it isn’t what our bodies were intended for. How would you like it? I am sure you would find it most uncomfortable, at least at first. It is no different for us women; in fact, it is even worse as we are usually smaller in size compared to our male lover. Be happy your wife let you try anal sex and leave it at that.

Dear Hyapatia,
I am a woman with a healthy sexual appetite. I like to be made love to, and I thrive on romance. My boyfriend came out of the gate strong, but now he has slowed down his lovemaking. We are about six months into the relationship, and I want to get things back on track. Since we both like weed, I thought maybe if we switched to a more sativa dominant strain, he wouldn’t be too tired at night. He usually falls asleep on the couch before bed. Do you have any other suggestions? — Melissa

Dear Melissa,
Go to your local Victoria’s Secret or some other store with sexy lingerie and spend some time trying on some something sexy until you find just the right look that flatters your body. After dinner and before it is too late, slip into your new attire without saying a word and surprise him. Since it will be earlier in the night than usual, he should have plenty of energy, and the sexy lingerie should send the message loud and clear. And a strain with of a heavy sativa influence couldn’t hurt!

Dear Hyapatia,
My girlfriend and I are going through a rough time financially. We haven’t been able to afford weed in almost a month. The problem is that our sex life has suffered because of it. She doesn’t want to have sex hardly at all. When we had weed, we had sex almost every day! This sucks! Why isn’t she interested in sex anymore just because we don’t have weed? — Jeremy

Dear Jeremy,
While it is true that pot enhances sex and puts people in the mood, your girlfriend should still be interested in sex even though you don’t have weed. Are you getting along okay? Is she stressed out, depressed or over-worked? It could be that her low sex drive has more to do with something else going on in her life than a lack of weed. Try to get things going with some nice romance. Make dinner for her, light some candles and play some sexy music. Offer her a massage, and I bet things will heat right up.  

Dear Hyapatia,
I am tired of being single. I know there are websites for dating and stuff, but I have run into some really crazy girls that way. It seems like all the good, sane girls are already taken. I don’t like to drink, I prefer weed, so going to a bar isn’t going to work. Besides, it seems like they are all full of crazy alcoholics anyway. How can I meet a good quality woman who likes weed? — Mark

Dear Mark,
It would be ideal if there were clubs you could go to just to get high and socialize. Colorado is on the forefront of trying to make that possible, but right now, it is just a pipe dream even in the most cannabis-friendly state. You could ask your friends if they know of anyone. Sometimes that is the best way because people who care about you won’t knowingly set you up with a maniac. Other time,s you may meet a friend of a friend and it’s a gamble. Another way to approach this is to simply pursue your favorite hobbies and activities and keep an eye out for any single ladies that might be enjoying the same thing. You will have a shared interest and something to talk about to get you started, and then you can approach the weed question after you get to know her a bit. 

Ask Hyapatia all of your questions regarding stoner sexuality. Email her at
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