Stoner Sex: Learning Curves, I’m Horny, You’re Not & Post-Baby Weight


Stoner Sex

Dear Hyapatia,
My girlfriend and I get along great. We love to get high and have sex. I’m the first guy she’s ever been with. We’ve been together for a couple of years now. I know she’s inexperienced and all, but I thought she’d be more comfortable with sex by now. She doesn't ever take the initiative. When we have sex, she just lies there. I wish she were into it more. I’ve tried everything I can think of from long massages and romantic nights out to going down on her for hours, but nothing seems to get her really excited. – David

Dear David,
Perhaps she’d enjoy watching an adult movie made for couples. If she sees another woman enjoying herself, maybe she’ll feel freer to express herself. I’d also suggest sticking with sativa-dominant strains, which are more energizing. Another way you might try to reinforce the idea that she it’s okay to let herself go is to make sure you don't hold back when you’re enjoying sex. Feel free to moan and groan, talk dirty and let her know how good it feels. Ask her if it feels good to her. Encourage her to give you more feedback. You might also try to have a bit of fun by telling her that your body is hers. Try just lying there, allowing her to do anything she wants to you. That may free up some of her inhibitions as well!

Dear Hyapatia,
My man is super-sexy. He wants to have sex all the time. If it were up to him, we’d probably never do anything else!  Some weekends we have sex up to six times a day! I’ve never lived with a man so sexual. I love him and so I don't want to turn him down, but I’m finding that other things I need to do are not getting done. How can I get him to stop wanting sex so much without making him think I don't want him? – Clair

Dear Clair,
It's time to sit down with him, get real stoned and have a heart-to-heart. Tell him how much you love him and enjoy sex with him, but that women are not made physically to have that much sex. (Truthfully, it’s just a matter of time before you get a urinary tract infection.) Explain that as wonderful as it may be to have so much sex, there are things you need to attend to and that your body needs a rest. Make sure he understands that this doesn’t mean you don't want to have sex with him. Sex is a special gift. It’s not to say that you won't be having sex frequently. You will, of course – just not multiple times every day.

Dear Hyapatia,
I’m getting to the point where I don't want to get stoned before we have sex. My man is usually a great lover. He comes home from work and we kiss all hot and heavy, and then he wants to get high. After that, the fireworks are gone! I don't know what it is that makes it different, but he’s just lost that spark. I’ve tried to make sure we have a sativa to smoke, but it makes no difference. – Wendy

Dear Wendy,
Sometimes when we’ve been away from our lover all day, we’re excited to see them at first. But then, as time goes by, the excitement wears off. Perhaps that’s what you are experiencing. Try having sex when he first comes home, in the heat of the moment, without getting stoned first. See how things turn out. 

Dear Hyapatia,
My lady and I had a baby a couple of years ago and she still hasn't lost the extra weight. I’ve tried to be supportive by encouraging a good diet and exercise, but she just hasn't taken it seriously. She doesn't go to the gym and never works out at home. It has taken its toll in the bedroom. What can I do to help her be healthier? – Lenny

Dear Lenny,
There are many things you can do to help. Do chores around the house so she knows that she has time and energy to work out and won’t be so busy doing laundry, cooking and cleaning. Take care of the baby for a few hours so she can have time for herself to do the things she’s been putting off, like taking a long bath or a nap. Only when a woman is rested and feels she has the support of her significant other with the daily routine will she allow herself the luxury of working out when she has a young child. If you can afford it, get someone to watch the baby while the two of you work out together and then reward her with a token of your love and appreciation. Do not focus on her weight but the time you two spend together. Make all of this a habit and watch the weight fall off. The important thing is not to nag her. She knows she’s carrying the extra weight.