Stoner Sex: Motivation Void, Copying Porn in Bed & Marijuana Mate-Finding


Stoner Sex

Dear Hyapatia,
I grow my own weed so that we always have plenty to smoke. My old lady and I love to get high after work. We fix a nice dinner and then sit on the couch and get wasted. The time just flies and before we know it, it's time for us to hit the hay – so we can get up and do it all again. By the time the weekend gets here, we’re exhausted from working all week and it seems we never have time to do the things we want to. We have a list of places we want to go visit that are just a few hours drive from our house, and another list of things we want to get done around the house. It's not one of us or the other who’s responsible; but both of us just tend to sit on the couch and not move once we start getting high. How do other people manage to get things done while high? – Mark and Sharon

Dear Mark and Sharon,
There are several reasons that you may not be getting the things done you want while getting high. First of all, I would suggest smoking a good sativa. It is virtually impossible to find a pure indica or sativa nowadays. Understand that almost everything is a hybrid, because sativas are not very big producers and they take longer to mature. But if you can find a Green Crack, Golden Goat or something similar it may help you keep up the energy and motivation. These are strong sativa hybrids; there are others, too. Secondly, your capacity for getting chores done and enjoying the freedom of traveling is a matter of your own will power. Make yourself get up off the couch and do the things you want to get done after that first joint. Smoking pot is not an excuse for being lazy and not achieving goals. Just remind yourself that there’s always another joint waiting for you as a reward or to enhance your enjoyment! That being said, be patient with yourselves. If you’ve both worked a full week, then you’ve earned a nightly buzz on the sofa. But get motivated by making your goals small. Try to check off one small thing on your list each day. Plan a great weed weekend or a nice road trip. Rome wasn't built in a day! Every goal has steps to getting there — it's not just one, big leap. Get things done by living life. Focus on enjoying the process of achievement, and share these moments in each other's company.

Dear Hyapatia,
My boyfriend and I like to watch sex flicks and we watch while having sex. We’ve been doing this for years. We get high during the dialog and once the sex is hot, we join in while watching. It really is a big turn-on and has kept our love life going for many years. But now I’m wondering if this is a bad thing, I mean, we don't concentrate on each other. We don't even look at each other. We just do what they’re doing on the screen. Is this bad for our relationship? — Candy

Dear Candy,
That depends entirely on how the two of you feel about it. If you’re both satisfied and happy, then there’s no problem. If one of you feels short-changed or that something is “missing,” then there’s an issue. The fact that you’ve written to me about this makes me think that you may believe is the case. Do you feel like he’s making love to you? Are your needs being met? Are you receiving the attention you need and want? If not, perhaps it’s time to turn off the movies every now and then. That doesn’t mean you have to change everything. If you still enjoy this, fine. But you may want to try it out just to make sure.There’s something about looking your partner in the eyes as you make love or hearing the sound of them receiving pleasure that can give you an indescribable feeling of bliss – and no movie can compare to that! 

Dear Hyapatia,
I’m single and Iove my weed. I tend to smoke most guys I meet under the table. I have a good job and I work hard, so I see no reason to not indulge myself. I’m looking for a guy who is my equal, who can smoke like I do or at least not bitch about it. I don't need to be judged. Most dating sites I've used have gotten me involved with jerks who just don't get it and they think that my preference makes them better than me. I’m not the social type, so going to some Cannabis Cup event and finding a man are not options for me. Any suggestions? – Melody

Dear Melody,
There are dating sites on line that cater to the cannasseur. You might try one of them. Then it’s a given that anyone you date will also be a cannabis lover. It’s doubtful that they’d look down on you because of your consumption. My420mate, date420friendly, 420singles, and ipotlove are some of the more popular ones. Good luck!