Stoner Sex: Small Breasts, Big Bushes, Talking Dirty & Submission

Dear Hyapatia,
My boyfriend and I just started having sex a few weeks ago. We are at that point in our relationship where we are starting to learn more about each other and the more I see, the more I think he is gay and in denial about it. He would rather have anal sex than regular sex, and he likes girls with small breasts. He said his last girlfriend was almost flat chested, and they had anal sex all the time. It is so obvious to me that he is gay, I really want to free him by helping him out of the closet. How can I do that without offending him? — Jessica 

Dear Jessica,
There are many men that prefer women with smaller breasts. I can see why you might be tempted to think that this, coupled with his fervor for anal sex, would indicate that he is more gay than straight, but he may not actually feel that way. There is more to homosexuality than a preference for anal sex and small breasts. He might actually feel more attracted to women. Everyone is different and has idiosyncrasies. I think there are many women with small breasts that will be very glad to hear that there are men who prefer them to their well-endowed sisters. 

Dear Hyapatia,
My lady and I have only been together a few months, and I don’t want to offend her or make her think I am complaining but I have a minor issue. She is very hairy down there, and I feel like I am in a jungle when I am trying to satisfy her orally. I certainly don’t want her to shave or anything like that, but it would be nice if she could just trim things a little bit. How do I go about bringing up something like that? — Michael

Dear Michael,
You might consider suggesting to her a little trim or haircut. She could take off just a little bit or an inch or two. There are a couple of ways you could approach this, and they all have to do with your timing. You could bring it up during sex, when you are getting high and enjoying intimate conversation, or when you are in the shower together. You know your lady best and when she would be most receptive to the suggestion. 

Dear Hyapatia,
My boyfriend wants me to talk dirty to him and I am not against it, I just don’t know how. Can you give me a few pointers? He also likes sexting. — Andrea 

Dear Andrea,
Sexting and talking dirty are very similar. Think about ways to describe your body and what you would do to your boyfriend sexually. Use lots of descriptive language with words like wet, waiting, dripping, moist, throbbing, sensitive and so on. Take your time and slow things down. Make him anticipate every word. This also gives you time to think about what you will say next. Sometimes sex isn’t so much about the words you use for your particular body part, but how you describe it. Although using different words for your sex organs always shakes it up and can be exciting, try to stay away from clinical terms.

Dear Hyapatia,
My girlfriend calls me daddy in bed. At first, I didn’t think much of it, but she has been doing it more often lately. She also asks me what I want her to do and asks permission for things. This is kind of starting to freak me out. Does she need professional help or am I over reacting? — Randy

Dear Randy,
It really isn’t that uncommon for women to call their partners “daddy” and act childlike in bed sometimes. This is related to submissive behavior. She is putting out subtle signals that she would like you to be a bit dominant in bed. This doesn’t necessarily mean she wants to go all Fifty Shades of Grey with you or anything, but you might try being a bit more aggressive and see how she reacts. She will probably let you know when she is uncomfortable, either verbally or physically.  

Ask Hyapatia all of your questions regarding stoner sexuality. Email her at
Last Week’s Stoner Sex: Intense Orgasms, Bisexual Questions & ‘Bottoming from the Top’ 


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