Stoner Sex: The Orgasm Effect, Enemies With Benefits & Depressing Debt


Stoner Sex

Dear Hyapatia,
I love sex, especially when I'm high. My man and I are very happy together, so it’s very disturbing to both of us that sometimes I cry after sex. I come really hard and then the tears just flow. What’s wrong with me? – Bet

Dear Bet,
Nothing! It’s not unusual at all for tears to come after a really good sex session, whether you’re high or not. An orgasm is a release of endorphins and crying is another way we release pent up frustrations and emotions that we hold inside. Your boyfriend should feel honored that you’re comfortable enough with him to be able to experience such a release. It’s a testament to your mutual lovemaking abilities and what sounds like a great relationship.

Dear Hyapatia,
When I’m real high and have sex, my orgasm just goes on and on. It's like it lasts five or six times longer than when I’m not high. Is this normal? – Dave

Dear Dave,
Absolutely! Having sex while high can have this effect, but not always. Other common experiences involve the sensation sex while of floating and melting into each other. Cannabis can allow your linear thoughts to dissipate, inducing a hyper-relaxed state of mind, helping you to focus more on the physical connection with your partner.

Dear Hyapatia,
I’ve had it with my wife and am ready to file for divorce. It seems that we cannot get along, except in the bedroom. We fight all the time. She destroys my stuff while I’m at work to get back at me. I’m done!  My only hesitation is that I won't have anyone to have sex with. Do you think there’s a way we could get divorced, but still turn to each other for sex on a regular basis? – Tommy

Dear Tommy,
I don’t think that will work at all. You say you’ve had it and you’re “done,” so why would want you to continue seeing someone you seem to loathe? If she’s constantly as angry at you as you say, I can’t see her wanting to have sex with you either. Even if it did work for a while, what happens when she finds another partner? You may have to take matters into your own hand. There’s nothing wrong with that. It can be nice to only have yourself to worry about until you’ve found someone special to share your bed with. There are plenty of options to make your single time more enjoyable. Try to look at it as an opportunity to get to know yourself better as a person. Enjoy it as much as possible. And don’t sell yourself short either. She’s not the only sex partner in the world!

Dear Hyapatia,
My lady and I are having money problems. We’re torn between what we should do and what we want to do. We have debts we have to pay and we know we should be saving for the future, but working 60-hour weeks is killing us. We never have time for each other or to do the things we want to do. We’ve had many discussions about money and it’s gotten to the point where it’s affecting our sex life. When we work this much, there’s no time or energy left for sex. I have tried to explain that maintaining our quality of life is important, but she says she can't enjoy time off knowing how deep we are in debt. – Chuck

Dear Chuck,
The thing about life is that you can't just work it; you have to live it! The purpose of money is to give you power. If you can’t enjoy life, let alone each other, you’re shortchanging yourselves. You are a human being, not a human doing. Take time to get high and enjoy the sunsets. Walk in beauty or life becomes very difficult and ugly. Believe me, I understand having large debts and you’re certainly not alone in this shaky economy. The thing to remember is that this, too, shall pass. Sometimes it’s hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel, but it’s there! You’re working on paying off your debts, so you’ve already made the decision to improve your quality of life. One of the best pieces of advice I’ve ever heard is to pay yourself first! Shave 10 percent off every bit of income you earn and put in a special account for yourselves, so you can take advantage of your time together. Give yourselves permission to take at least one day off a week. Even God did that! Use it for rest and relaxation. Don't catch up on household chores, but focus instead on each other and having fun!