I read a letter you answered from a guy who wanted his girl to trim things up down below. I am a girl with a boyfriend who needs the same thing! It seems there is a lot of talk about woman shaving their pubes and trimming but not much about manscaping below the waist. My guy is very hairy and that is cool; I love his hairy chest, but there is just too much down there. I have read that guys in the business shave their balls to make themselves look bigger. If my boyfriend would just trim a little, I bet he would look like a horse! How can I suggest this? I am afraid he is going to think I want to turn him into a gay guy. He is very manly and would never consider this on his own. — Maggie
Most guys love the idea of having a bigger dick. You might suggest that if you trimmed his pubes for him a bit, his dick would look bigger. If you do it, he will find it exciting and be more likely to go through with it. Once he sees how much bigger he looks and how you appreciate it, he may surprise you by doing it himself the next time when it grows back.
My girlfriend has been kinda lazy in bed over the last few months. She doesn’t seem to want to give me head for very long and says she really isn’t into a bunch of different positions. She calls it acrobatics. At first, I took it personally, but then I thought it might be the weed. We have been getting high before bed. I thought it would help to put her in the mood. How can I get her to not be so lazy in bed? Do we need to cut back on the weed? — Jake
It could be that she is just tired and worn out from a long day. Of course, smoking a pure indica strain will make her more sleepy and physically laid back, while a sativa would have a more energizing effect. Does she work a full eight hour day and then fix dinner, take care of kids and clean the house like a lot of women? If so, that is why she doesn’t have the energy for an active sex life, and anything you could do to lighten her load would leave her with more energy for lovemaking. If that is not the case, try initiating sex earlier in the evening and add some sativa to your mix.
My lady and I have always wanted to move to California, and now that pot is legal for everyone out there, we have decided there is no better time to go. We don’t have much money saved up and will be needing jobs as soon as we hit town. This has my girl all stressed out, and we have not had sex in almost two weeks. I have tried to tell her that this is a leap of faith and something will turn up. It always does. But she just can’t stop being worried about it. She keeps bringing up all the negative things and saying we should wait. How can I get her to relax about everything and have sex with me again? — Michael
Her lack of sexual desire may have more to do with disappointment in you, rather than stress over what will happen when you get to California. She may have thought you were more practical than what you appear to be now. She may be frustrated that you are not taking her fears seriously. Homelessness is very common in California, and many of the people on the streets came to the West Coast hoping for a better life. The state is just beginning to work out all of the details of recreational pot, and it may be better to wait until they have recreational shops and grows up and running. Until then, there is not a big demand for staff. If you feel as though you must move to a recreationally legal state right now, may I suggest Colorado or Washington? They have their systems well in place. You might be wise to listen to your girlfriend and make sure you have more resources available. There are many times when we women do not feel sexual because we know things aren’t right. The timing may not be right for your move. This has nothing to do with how much love she has for you. In fact, it is her love for you that makes her care about moving the right way at the right time. Work with her on this. Be a couple and plan it out a bit more.
Lately, my boyfriend has been in an experimental mood. He wants to try all different kinds of positions, anal sex, tit-fucking, B & D, all of it. I am certainly not a prude, I like to experiment now and then, too, but every night is a new adventure. It wasn’t always like this. I don’t know what started it or why he can’t be satisfied with some good old fashioned love. I know what I need to do to get off, and when we experiment like that, sometimes it isn’t so easy for me to come. For some reason, he seems to think that if I just get high enough, I will be wilder in bed. It really doesn’t matter if I am high or not, I still know what I want to do, and while I am not against doing something different now and then, I don’t like the constant bedroom surprises. Is he just bored or what? — Natasha
A guy who has never been with a sexually open minded woman before can sometimes get a bit ahead of himself. He may want to try it all as soon as possible. If he has never done these things before and has been shut down when he suggested them in the past, your willingness to try new things may have opened a floodgate of ideas. He will need to learn to pace himself. Have an intimate conversation over a few choice buds. When you have gotten high and he has relaxed a bit, bring up sex. Explain that while you like to experiment now and then, you find the kind of sex you used to have to be very fulfilling. Let him know that you miss the natural intimacy of your lovemaking and your desire to experiment cannot be increased by simply smoking more weed. Set up some rules and boundaries. Decide how often you are willing to try a new or unusual sexual position or practice. This will let him know you are not shutting his experimentation down completely, you just want to enjoy him the way you first did. He will have something to look forward to and you can both enjoy your sex life.
Ask Hyapatia all of your questions regarding stoner sexuality. Email her at firstname.lastname@example.org
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