Stoner Sex: Twice A Day, Moody Tokers, Porn Watchers & Mature Mates


Stoner Sex

Dear Hyapatia,
My girl and I have a great relationship. We get along great, enjoy all the same things and smoke a hell of a lot of weed! I love her so much; I just want to make love to her all the time. I know that is impossible, but I really need to have sex with her twice a day. I want to show her how much I love and appreciate her and I want to make sure I take care of her needs and make her feel as good as possible. She says twice a day is too much! I don't understand that! How can showing someone you love them only twice a day be too much? – Bruce

Dear Bruce,
To make love properly takes time. With all the stress in our daily lives and how much time we must devote to making a living and maintaining our environment, it is often difficult to find the time that you are requesting. There are many ways we show our loved ones how much we care: by preparing meals, rolling joints, doing laundry, calling and texting to let them know that we’re thinking of them, telling them our hopes and fears and simply sharing time and space with them. I’m sure your lady shows you how much she loves you in other ways. This is what you need to focus on to feel her love more fully. When you do make love, enjoy it as much as possible by being in that time and space and not thinking about anything else. If you ever have children, your time will be much more limited, but you will love each other just as much, if not more so. Little things sustain relationships and help love grow, not just sex itself.

Dear Hyapatia,
My old man works hard and provides for me and the kids, but when we get high, he gets all moody and it’s a really big turn-off. I want to relax at the end of the day with a nice doobie and just chill, but it seems to make him start talking about all the horrible things that get him down. I try to lighten the mood, but it never works. When the joint is gone, he wants to have sex, but by then I’m so frustrated and depressed that I’m just not in the mood. Why does smoking bring this out in him? – Denise

Dear Denise,
It may not be the smoking, but the timing. This may be the only time in the day he gets to share his feelings with you. Maybe you just need more time to be alone together to work through these feelings. Could you smoke another joint or two until the bad feelings have passed and you’re both more relaxed? Is there a way on the weekends that you could make more time for yourselves so you can help him with the things that bother him? Sometimes writing down the things that are bothering you can make them seem less significant and more surmountable. When you number them and find out that you’re actually dealing with a finite number of problems, it’s easier to feel like you can handle them one at a time.

Dear Hyapatia,
I have a healthy sexual appetite and I realize it may be bigger than my partner's, so I like to watch porn now and then. I don't like to hide things, but it seems to piss of my girlfriend when she finds out. So I’ve been trying to keep it on the down-low. Well, she found out and is pissed as hell. I don't get it.  I’m not cheating on her. There is no chance that I’ll bring a disease home to her or anything! Hell, I rarely even get high when I watch it, so I’m not even going through our stash. I guess there’s just no pleasing her. – Marcus

Dear Marcus,
Some women do view porn-watching as cheating. They feel that if you’re sexually turned on by another woman, it’s a threat to themselves and their relationship with you. They think that if you can watch another woman and enjoy it sexually, then a very fine line is created that can be crossed if you should find a woman in real life who makes it clear that she’s a willing partner. Many men prove their suspicions to be correct. If you want to be her “one and only,” she has to know she’s also your “one and only.” Otherwise, she will live her life thinking that you could be cheating on her and lose respect for your ability to control yourself.

Dear Hyapatia,
I am an older woman. I’ve had my children and raised them. I’m looking for someone who I can enjoy life with, who doesn’t put expectations on me, but appreciates the many things I have to offer. I don't like online dating. I’ve been disappointed too many times. I want someone who will share my love of cannabis and not try to control my usage of it. Where can I go to find people of a like mind? – Sabrina

Dear Sabrina,
HIGH TIMES has many wonderful Cannabis Cup celebrations all around the world. These are great gatherings of cannabis lovers and entrepreneurs who come together to celebrate life and the many gifts the plant has to offer. I would suggest you visit one of these festivals and make some connections! It’s a unique and uplifting experience. You will find like-minded individuals and, as you know, cannabis lovers are the best people there are. One thing could easily lead to another and you’ll probably find yourself with new friends and romantic possibilities.

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