EVENT REVIEW: Beer on the Pier – Bring Your Own Designated Driver

Story by Mike Gianakos
Photo by Christopher Severino

While marijuana remains (unjustly, illogically, incomprehensibly) against the law in this country, one may consume as much alcohol as one wishes. The dichotomy in acceptance of the two substances has left critics on either side with enough fodder to expound in endless rants the virtues of one, the evils of the other – often times waylaying an unsuspecting and innocent partygoer who simply sought to alter their consciousness while avoiding the pitfall of societal debate.

The truth is that neither substance, when used responsibly, is nearly as detrimental as the most inexorably diligent naysayer would have you believe. Smoking marijuana does not turn you into a corn chip craving zombie who can’t find his shoes. Consuming a couple pints does not transform you into a soccer hooligan. As Shakespeare wrote, “There is nothing either good or bad but thinking makes it so.” With that in mind, the time has come to call a truce (for the remainder of this article at least).

Of course, there are those who appreciate the positive aspects of both substances, and it was in that spirit that Beer on the Pier was attended.

Located at Pier 94 in Manhattan, a cavernous industrial structure with the feel of a low ceiling-ed airplane hanger, set between the Hudson River and West Side Highway, Beer on the Pier offered revelers unlimited samples of beer from a vast array of foreign and domestic breweries. With two four-hour tasting sessions from which to choose – one, 12pm to 4pm, the other, 6pm to 10pm – we opted for the earlier. There’s just something deliriously magical about drinking on a crisp, sunny autumn afternoon.

Upon entry one must decide which of three directions will begin their journey to hops heaven. Brewery stands dispensing samples of the fruits of their labor line the walls throughout. To the right, a smattering of people laid a foundation for four hours of drinking with Spanky’s BBQ (provided at an additional cost). To the left, a stage where a raucous band bellowed incoherently. Straight ahead, beyond the lines for the portable toilets, at the end of a corridor, stood, side-by-side, Brooklyn Brewery and Guinness. As they offered the least resistance with the shortest lines in sight, our journey began there, with the familiar.

You almost couldn’t help but feel like a kid in a candy shop. A candy shop with sticky floors, various fetid odors and very loud, uncoordinated people, but a candy shop nonetheless.

For many, what ostensibly began as a semi-sophisticated sampling session - aided by the delicate plastic tasting cups we received at the entrance – almost inevitably deteriorated into a swirling phantasmagoria of good old-fashioned drunken fun. We too began by sniffing, sipping, considering and discussing that which was poured into our cups but soon segued into greedy gulps of one brew as we stood in line to “sample” the next.

Standing back from the fray and observing the lines that crowded in front of each stand, the Beer on the Pier attendees resembled piglets blindly struggling amongst themselves to suckle at the teat of satiation. But who could blame them, the beer – from the likes of Black Sheep Brewery, Captain Lawrence Brewing Company, Dogfish Head Craft Brewery, Ithaca Beer Company, Redhook Ale Brewery, Singha Thai Beer, Smuttynose Brewing Company and Wychwood Brewery to name just a few – was flowing.

As time wore on and the crowds began to thin, grabbing a McSorley’s Ale from their stand located in the shadows of the stage became an easy task. Ducking the harsh reverberations emanating from the band there, however, was more difficult. Then, finding an unoccupied section apart from the rabble, we circled our proverbial and drunken wagons and endeavored to determine by process of elimination which brews we’d yet to “sample.” Seeing one such stand straight away we ambled over, cups in hand, asking of the enabler present to buoy our flagging debauchery. To the general dismay of those around us, we were told the beer had run out.

Moving down the line to another such stand that had been drank dry we were offered (and incomprehensibly accepted) mead in its place. The saccharine, honey-based liquor was a poor choice for a nightcap on four hours of beer consumption but, as stand after stand closed down, it proved to be the taste with which we were left.

With the early Beer on the Pier crowd clearing out and leaving in their wake a beer splattered landscape strewn with broken plastic cups and the occasional abandoned hat or sweatshirt, we had time to reflect on the event. Somewhat surprising was the orderliness of it all. There were no fights or arguments, no injuries to report and, perhaps most surprising, no one fell in the Hudson.

Clearly, if you desire to “sample” a vast array of beer in a short period of time, Beer on the Pier is the place to be. For more information, check them out at: www.beerfestintl.com