Here at HIGH TIMES, we love smoking weed. But, there’s something to be said for sinking our stoner teeth into a sumptuous baked treat -- especially one that’s been imbued with the healing powers of Mary Jane. While discerning consumers are now welcome to purchase these delectable edibles in Washington State and Colorado (as well as certain special states if you’re lucky enough to have a ‘script), there are plenty of places where you can find excellent brownies and, often, amazing pot, but, alas, no brownies laced with it (unless you make them yourself, of course).
This list is dedicated to some of the best brownie-baking establishments in those unfortunate locales where weed has yet to be legalized for recreational use. We’ve selected ten bake shops that we wish would lace their brownies, picked one of their signature varieties, and found the perfect strain to pair with it.
Sure, we’d prefer it if the brownies were infused with the flavor and effect of each strain we’ve matched them up with, but, for now, we’ll settle for blazing up a fat blunt at home with a sack of our favorite sugary snacks listed below. Luckily for you, most of these are available for mail-order, so you can make that blissful scenario you’re reality, as well.
And now, here are the brownies:
The Brownie Lady - Miami/Fort Lauderdale area
Suggested brownie/strain pairing: White chocolate brownies with White Rhino
Unfortunately for the golfers at the tournaments she sponsors down in the Sunshine State, The Brownie Lady’s wares don’t come spiked. If things ever change down there, we think she’d make the world an even better place by incorporating some dank White Rhino into the recipe for her white chocolate brownies.
Buford’s Brownies - Columbus, Georgia
Suggested brownie/strain pairing: Pecan butter brownies with Animal Cookies
Check out the photo of Buford on this site and you’ll agree that he’d benefit from a milky bong hit. Unfortunately, they don’t have legal reefer in Columbus, which is located about 100 miles south of the ATL. If you can score a bag of Animal Cookies, we recommend getting your fingers on some of Buford’s pecan butter brownies for your post-smoke munchfest.
Fairytale Brownies - Phoenix, Arizona
Suggested brownie/strain pairing: Cream cheese brownies with Cheese Bud
The mellow high of cheese bud blended into these creamy brownies would be a match made in heaven. Too bad for us that bringing less than two pounds of weed into the arid state of Arizona is a Class 3 felony that carries a minimum sentence of two years. Fuck that noise; we’ll have our Fairytale Brownies shipped to a less-shitty state.
With a name like The O.G., you can tell the people behind Oh Brownie have a love affair with ganja. Hopefully, they’ll take their talents to the Rocky Mountains or Seattle, where they can fulfill their destiny by combining O.G. Kush with their signature chocolate wonder.
Breads on Oak - New Orleans, Louisiana
Suggested brownie/strain pairing: Banana chocolate walnut brownies with Banana Kush
In a city renowned for all things culinary, Breads on Oak’s banana chocolate walnut brownies are still worth raving about. Throw some heady Banana Kush into the flavor profile and HOLY CRAP: now you’re talking about a whole new level of delight. If ever there were a place that should legalize weed, if only for the purposes of using it in food and drink, it would be NOLA.
Mary Louise Butters - Austin, Texas
Suggested brownie/strain pairing: Mental Julep with Thin Mint Cookies
Texas is a big-ass state, so it has two spots on the list. The second company mentioned from the Lone Star State produces some outrageous flavors of brownies, including one with cherries and Kirsch, another with walnuts and habanero chiles, and yet another with wine and espresso. We’re enamored with the minty Mental Julep, and pair it with its refreshing hybrid counterpart, Thin Mint Cookies, for ultimate extra-sensory pleasure.
Better Together Brownies - Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Suggested brownie/strain pairing: Cookie brownie with Girl Scout Cookies
BT Brownies’ cookie brownie combines the best of moist chocolate chip cookies and decadent, gooey brownies into one amazing square. We believe that it would be perfectly augmented by the indica-dominant dandy, Girl Scout Cookies.
Fat Witch Brownies - New York, New York
Suggested brownie/strain pairing: Red Witch with Cherry Pie
Fat Witch makes some of NYC’s most popular munchies, and for good reason -- they’ll cast a spell on yo’ ass with their rich chocolate flavor. Try the dried cherry-studded Red Witch with some Cherry Pie, a euphoric indica that comes from O.G. Kush and Granddaddy Purple.
Two On Earth Bakery & Cafe - Charlotte, North Carolina
Suggested brownie/strain pairing: Island Girl brownie with Dutch Treat
Charlotte, NC’s Two on Earth makes some heavenly brownies, and we’re extra-fond of the Island Girl, a blondie (sorry, brownie purists) with toasted coconut, macadamia nuts, dried pineapple and mango mixed in. The citrusy, piney flavor of Dutch Treat, along with its indica-dominant high, is an excellent strain to spike these craveable Carolina treats with.
Two Cops Bake Shop - Denver, Colorado
Suggested brownie/strain pairing: Salted caramel bites with G-13
Alright: we know we said we were going to focus on area’s where weed is yet to be legal, but when we found out about Two Cops Bake Shop in Denver, we knew an exception had to be made. These dudes were actual popos in the Denver PD, and they decided to call it quits to start a weedless brownie operative. We think nothing would be more hilarious than these coppers using G-13, the U.S. government’s high-grade chronic, to lace their sinful salted caramel bites.
Got any suggestions that didn’t make the list? Let us know in the comments section!