The hooligans and petty thugs residing within the confines of London’s Brixton prison are reportedly smoking so much marijuana throughout the facility that it has caused the guards’ uniforms to reek of the reefer.
According to a report from an official prison watchdog, ever since the penitentiary was forced to make staff cutbacks, and therefore suspending random cell raids, the majority of the detention center has literally been reduced to a blinding haze of marijuana smoke.
In fact, there is apparently so much reefer chiefing going on inside the prison that the report actually goes as far as to indicate that anyone visiting the facility is almost certain to leave smelling like Tommy Chong’s beard -- our words, not theirs.
“Cannabis was sometimes being smoked so much on A and B wings that officers’ and monitoring board members’ clothes smelt of it,” states the report.
Officials say the prison has turned into a veritable hookah house because much of the staff has been laid off, making it nearly impossible to efficiently inspect the prisoners’ cells. Not to mention the jail now only has one drug-sniffing dog, which makes conducting blitzkrieg style searches of the entire wing less than practical.
The report states that the majority of the drug trafficking is believed to be the result of a small percentage of prisoners, known as the Bad Boy Bakery, that are regularly granted temporary release in order to supply baked goods to many of the Caffe Nero shops across London.
However, prison officials say they are concerned that their efforts to crack down on pothead prisoners will undoubtedly create other problems, like an increase in murderers, rapists and all-around sick bastards getting drunk on homemade hooch.
Our advice is to just allow the prisoners to continue smoking weed. After all, no good can come from a bunch of caged deviants all jacked up on toilet shine. You have been warned.
Mike Adams writes for Playboy's The Smoking Jacket, BroBible and Hustler Magazine. Follow him: @adamssoup; facebook.com/mikeadams73.