While the phrase, “That’s not mine” has become the most common excuse fed to drug-sniffing cops during a vehicle search, an Illinois man recently took it upon himself to change things up a bit by explaining to an officer that the weed found in his vehicle belonged to none other than his grandmother.
According to reports, Oak Lawn police spotted three men hanging out in a 2003 Ford Taurus that was parked for several minutes in a convenience store parking lot. Officers say they grew suspicious of the men because they just sat in the parked car and never left the vehicle.
That is when police decided to investigate further, pulling their cruiser in directly behind the Taurus. However, the sudden presence of law enforcement was apparently enough to motivate the men to get the hell out of dodge, and soon they were kicking up dust in an brash attempt to get as far away as possible from anyone wearing a police uniform.
Unfortunately, the three men’s hasty hightail tactics gave officers all the probable cause they needed to follow them for a few blocks before pulling them over as a “suspicious vehicle.”
The police report indicates that the driver of the Taurus, 19-year-old Richard Oliver, told police that he was headed to a friend’s house, who turned out to be a “documented drug dealer.” HIGH TIMES Tip: When the police pull you over and ask you where you’re going, be vague and never give them the names of anyone, especially if they are known drug dealers.
One officer said that while talking to Oliver, he noticed the faint odor of marijuana coming from the car. This, of course, was enough probable cause for the officer to ask the dreaded question: Do you mind if we search your vehicle?
Reports indicate that Oliver refused to allow police to search his vehicle, but as soon as officers informed him that if he didn’t comply, they were going to unleash a couple of narc dogs, Oliver felt persuaded to consent to the search.
Police found a plastic Tupperware container with a few shakes of weed in it. When officers asked Oliver about the container, Oliver allegedly used his grandmother as the scapegoat, “It’s my grandma’s. She keeps spices in it.”
Oliver was given a citation for possession of marijuana under 30 grams, and grandma reportedly got her Tupperware back from her rat-faced grandson.
Mike Adams writes for Playboy's The Smoking Jacket, BroBible and Hustler Magazine. Follow him: @adamssoup; facebook.com/mikeadams73.