Dear Hyapatia,
There is this guy at work that I’m very attracted to. He and I take smoke breaks together. We both like dabs and flowers and are soooo compatible in many other ways. There’s only one problem: he's married. He and his wife fight a lot, but I don't know if he'll ever really divorce her. We haven’t talked about her. Every day I look forward to seeing him at work and we’re getting closer and closer. I want him so bad I can't stand it. How can I get him to be with me? I don't want to do it at work, so I have to figure out a way to get him alone away from work.  I'm very confused. I really like him a lot, but I don't want to be the other woman.

Dear Debbie,
This is a difficult situation. It may be hard, but try to keep your cool. Don't say or do anything you may regret later. But keep this in mind: if you were with him, would you want him cheating on you? Are there children involved? You don't want to break up a family. Also, does he feel the same way about you? Perhaps you could pull back from the relationship and give him a chance to let you know how he feels. If he were to divorce, that would be a different situation. But it's probably best to keep your relationship in the "best buds" stage.

Hey Hyapatia,
My girlfriend hogs the weed. She always holds onto the joint and talks and smokes until it’s almost gone. I light it and give it to her. By the time I get it back, I don't want to give it to her again,  because if I do, there won't be anything left at all when I get it back. I’m serious – not exaggerating at all. I don't mean to come off as stingy or whatever, but this was annoying in the beginning. Now it really pisses me off.

Dear Paul,
How about rolling two joints? Give her one and you hold on to the other? That may be the best approach. If she asks why, be honest. This is not worth getting angry about when it can be solved so easily.

My girl and I love to get high at the end of the day and then have a great hour or so of lovemaking. She’s very sexy and I can hardly keep my hands off of her. I really shouldn't complain, but sometimes I can’t get high before she’s all on me and shit. I love it and all, but I really did want to get a bit high first. Is that my bad?

Dear Josh,
You have every right to want to catch a buzz before getting it on. There's nothing wrong with  that. Try getting a jump-start on your buzz before you both sit down together. Her objective appears to be getting off above getting high. There’s nothing wrong with that either. Maybe your job is more stressful than hers and you need a bigger buzz at the end of the day. Or maybe for her sex is a bigger stress reliever than getting high. If she objects to your getting high before she does, just explain the situation honestly to her.

Dear Hyapatia,
I am so sick and tired of men right now I could scream. The last five boyfriends I have had were cheating on me. I want to try women. What is the best way for someone new to lesbianism to try and meet girls who smoke like I do?
Fed Up

Dear Fed Up,
I don't mean to be bitchy or anything but, after having that many boyfriends cheat on you, I would start looking in the mirror. If you’re not attracted to women as a first choice, then going gay isn't going solve anything, because you won't be truly comfortable. First of all, is there something you could be doing to push these guys towards other women? Are you hung up on where they are every second of every day? Be independent and able to get by on your own. No one wants a needy, overly emotional lover looking for a co-dependent relationship. That’s the first hurdle. Then you can worry about whether they smoke and how much.
As far as sex as concerned, maybe you should consider your lovemaking. Is there something that you won't do? Like, suck cock, maybe? Maybe you should try different positions. Men are pretty basic. You’ve probably been given many clues as to what it is that they want. Relationships are two-way streets.