We’ve come a long way from reefer madness and the evil “Marihuana.” The modern stoner is poised to take over the world.
Once stereotyped for our lack of work ethic, laziness and food devastation, the stoner has evolved into an high-functioning member of society. With marijuana being legalized and decriminalized left and right, more people have begun to enjoy sweet Mary Jane. From the elementary school teacher in Cali to the Wall Street broker in NYC, humans everywhere have made marijuana a part of daily life. And you know what? We seem to be doing just fine.
We’re no longer lazy, boring and hungry. Well, maybe a little hungry. As weed becomes increasingly socially acceptable, the high-ranking business stoners can work with the biology teachers to push the movement forward and make progress. It is not just up to them however. Even the little guys like you and me can make a difference by teaching people of the good marijuana can really do.
With our resources nationwide, the modern stoner is pushing forward. We are standing up to those who once shut us down. One day (soon) we will all blaze together under a federally legal law, and the world will see what stoners are truly capable of.
So, let’s debunk some myths:
1. Stoners have a five-word vocabulary
Today the modern stoner does not have a five-word vocabulary. We now go far beyond maann, duuuddee, braahh…
2. We are lazy
With the decriminalization of weed in more states, hardworking men and women of today’s society can enjoy a nice joint. And they do. Often.
3. We only wear tie-dye shirts
Nowadays stoners don’t just wear trippy shirts. Business-minded stoners have style that is sophisticated and professional.
4. 420 means lets smoke
Okay, we still get stoned at 4:20, but we now know that the number is a symbol of a movement that will one day legalize marijuana nationwide.
5. We’re friends with sketchy drug dealers
We used to be perceived as crazed lunatics looking for our next high, and we would get our “fix” from the sketchy guy with one eye in a shadowy alley somewhere. These days dispensaries and recreational smoke shops are selling weed in the full light of day.
6. We have poor posture
That kid sitting in the back of the class that looks like he’s been cut in half because he’s slouched so low is now sitting at the head of the class, fully erect, and paying full attention.
7. We are in a constant state of confusion
Stoners don’t just wander the streets staring at the sky and questioning the meaning of life anymore. Sure there’s a weird thought here and there, but now we know that just makes us smarter.
8. We don’t do shit, “because I got high”
The famous Afroman once stated “I was gonna go to class… but then I got high.” Well, that’s not the case anymore because stoners have a greater work ethic than non-stoners. You fucked up? It’s on you, man. Not the weed.
9. We are paranoid
With marijuana becoming legal across the country, stoners aren’t staring out the peephole looking for cops anymore. We can smoke safely (in many places) and not worry about who’s “out to get us.”
10. We are a slave to the munchies
Ok, so maybe the munchies are unbeatable, but there are worse things in the world, and that taco was fucking awesome.
11. We frequently dissolve into gigglefits
You’re still laughing at number six, aren’t you?
I’ve never seen a higher pile of bullshit.
yeah you are still lazy boring and dumb. My boyfriend and I were drunks for 6 years . It was bad, but we still had energy and got stuff done. No , not all the time and there were bad issues. So, we quit drinking. Three months after he quit , 5 months after I quit, he started with smoking weed. He went through a ton of strains before he found one that didn’t make him paranoid. Then he made butter out of it. He turned into a boring zombie just like his son he had kicked out had before him. He lives in a disconnected world. You can’t even watch a movie with him because he can’t really keep his eyes open. He laughs only to himself. He sleeps all the time. He is a total bore who can’t wait for everyone to go home so he can reach oblivion . He wants to die again and has no life. He has delusions of grandeur about people admiring him. Its so bad I am about to trash a 6 year relationship to get away from him. He is sucking me into his boring sphere and I am an energetic person. I didn’t get sober to be around a walking dead person. Stoners are not called stoners for no reason. Ugh.