Cinema Stoner: Valerian & Mango Hybrid

I am still so excited about Valerian I can barely sleep. A knockout sci-fi pic whose enjoyment exponentially increases with marijuana consumption, Luc Besson’s phantasmagoric space noir is a cinema stoner’s prayer answered—a retro-futuristic graphic novel come to life. 

I mean, this is a movie whose full title is literally Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets – a subtitle that screams “take drugs before me.” Adorned with a crackerjack plot following two space agents (Dane DeHaan and Cara Delevingne) who uncover dastardly corruption in a floating Galactic United Nations, the sprawling picture operates on pure breathless gusto, a luminous Star Wars pastiche painted with breath-taking off-world visuals.

You cannot be high enough to watch this movie. As the film opened on half-naked aliens harvesting nuclear pellets from shitting space armadillos, I wondered if my kindly sativa was up to task. Cycling to the cinema as I smoked, Mac Garden’s Mango (16.2% THC, 0.08% CBD) simply made everything seem pleasant. But tucked into a reclining leather seat in a darkened air-conditioned rural movie theater, the fruity Mango hybrid melded seamlessly with the loopy beauty of Valerian‘s universe. 

I could have been higher. This is, after all, a movie that features Ethan Hawke prancing around as a cowboy pimp, Delevingne sticking her head in a hallucinogenic jellyfish, Rihanna stripping as a shapeshifting octopus, and jazz great Herbie Hancock somehow playing the president of the universe. Had mushrooms magically appeared in my hand, I would have popped them in my mouth immediately. 

But even with the lightweight Mango gently aiding my enjoyment of Besson’s bubbly alien environments and future-tech gadgetry, Valerian remains a prime example of Grade-A drug viewing. Despite a muted ending and a lack of deep human drama, the film is overly satisfying and pleasantly exhausting, like being at a gourmet buffet an hour too long. With the long-lasting Mango still caressing my consciousness, the film’s images swirled in my mind as I passed out, DeHaan’s armored spacemen shooting a platform-creating gun to jump across open air. 

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Related Posts
Mendo Dope
Read More

Planted in the Culture

Mendo Dope continues to cultivate the heritage of cannabis grown in the Emerald Triangle.
Mix Master Mike
Read More

Beastie Mode

Mix Master Mike Talks 25 Years of Hello Nasty.
Cop List
Read More

Jon’s Stone-Cold Cop List #44: Green Everyday

The holiday may be over but we’re still thankful for all the dank over here. This month Jon got behind the hype on Toad Venom, Maine Trees, Pleasant Effects, Firefly Organics, Dogman Toys and more!
Dos Rios
Read More

Heart & Soul

Dos Rios Farms is dedicated to cultivating in a sustainable environment.