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High Horoscopes | Dec. 23, 2016

Aelie Câlin

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The HIGH TIMES weekly astrological forecast, complete with strain recommendations!

Ask Aelie anything! Find her on Facebook and Twitter.

Aries

Lite Brite. As I kid I wanted one so bad that it has stayed with me as a lifelong covet. As an adult, a dear friend gave me her old one when she heard of my childhood desire. I almost cried. This toy soothed a need in me to stare into a glowing light—something humanity has found solace in since we were cave people. Around that fire, important stories were told, life saving warmth was shared and community was created. We replicate this light whenever we want to feel those things—stained glass in churches, Christmas tree lights, community bonfire parties, vigils. If I could, I would give you a Lite Brite for the holidays this year. You could use a little tribe comfort and safety. Do what you can to find some fellow light gazers and huddle together for stories and love this week. Strain recommendation: Hash Berry

Taurus

Remember the kids who asked for telescopes for Christmas? They wanted to be that special kind of child who prefers watching the stars to watching TV, but their parents knew better. We don’t often find people who know us better than we know ourselves as adults, but that’s precisely what you need right now. This week, you must find that person who will give you a Tonka truck instead of a chemistry set; who will treat you as the person you are, not the one you hope to be. Strain recommendation: F13

Gemini 

One of the big selling toys this holiday season is the Hatchimal—a stuffed animal that “hatches” from an egg that you keep warm, rub and hug, until it hatches. Apparently, you need to “help it along” by opening the shell with your fingers once the initial few cracks have happened. So the big sell here is the waiting. Jack-in-the-Box used to satisfy our need for suspense, but now they’ve added the joy of caring for something and watching it thrive into the mix. Well, that’s pretty irresistible to our species. No matter how cynical you want to be about this kind of marketing, you have to admire the ingenuity. You will do well to harness your creativity and market yourself better than usual this week. Something about you will inspire others to help you along, so make sure you get your face out there. Strain Recommendation: Willie Nelson

Cancer 

Tickle Me Elmo has got to be one of the best selling toys in history. He giggled, that’s pretty much what he did. Then, they came out with one that talked non-stop, and later, one that boogied to rock music—all were huge selling items. Now I’m a Grover girl, so I didn’t anticipate the popularity of Elmo as a character when he first arrived on Sesame Street. I definitely didn’t think he had the staying power of a Big Bird or Oscar. Boy, was I wrong. I underestimated the electoral vote on that one for sure. You’ve been out of step with the zeitgeist lately as well. Maybe do a little research before heading out for holiday shopping or investing in stocks. You may be embarrassingly out of tune. Strain recommendation: Blue Widow

Leo 

Lego—the gift of imagination! And for parents, the gift of sharp plastic bits of pain on every walking surface. Lego has stood the test of time, capturing the hearts of children since 1955. It reissues new combinations and versions constantly and cashes in on most of the big franchises out there. It is ubiquitous, and this week, so are you. It’s Leo’s Lego week: you will be masterful at realigning and newly combing your many facets every time you enter a different space or meet with someone new. You are the essence of adaptability. While this is a powerful skill when courting new mates or plotting upward mobility at the workplace, it can be daunting for those who love a particular version of you. Keep this in mind, and either help them learn to love all of your possible combos or keep your various attachments and bits private. Strain recommendation: Grape Stomper

Virgo

The Game of Life was the perfect family style indoctrination game. It taught you to have a blue car if you were a boy, pink if a girl, to have 2 children with your opposite gendered spouse and to work your way up the social and career path after graduating from a good university: step by step. The idea that anyone’s life in this day and age is so perfectly linear and formulaic is absurd, but yet this is what our society aspired towards for a long time. I ask you to check in with your life expectations, and readjust those that may be unrealistic or handed down to you by an earlier generation. In these times we need to learn to accept the messy and unusual way life really works, and that goes double for Virgos this week. Strain recommendation: Bubble Gum

Libra

Magic Kits are popular toys during the holiday season. A lot of kids are spellbound by practical magic and the thought that they could entertain their friends and family by making coins disappear and flowers come out of mid air is almost too good to be true. The sadness comes when they realize the skills needed to perform these tricks don’t come in the box too. That’s when the kid has to make a decision: Do I want to learn? The opportunity to learn something new is a wonderful gift, but it has to be presented at the right time or it can feel like a burden instead of a gift. You have the chance now to advance yourself, but you might not be in the mood to take on a new challenge. Remember this when considering investing time in education: People can take away everything from you but your knowledge. Strain recommendation: Pineapple express

Scorpio

If you want to explore the confounding elasticity of time: Get high and hungry and then make brownies using the high watt light bulb that is the Easy-Bake Oven. Time makes no sense at moments like that. It is real life Waiting for Godot. While you wait, I offer you these thoughts to ponder: How do you usually feel about time? Are you often up against it, or do you wish it would move along quicker? What does this say about you?  What message do you send by being late or early or ridiculously punctual? Who makes your time fly? When do you feel the need to waste time? How much of it do you have left? How much do the ones you love have left with you? Strain recommendation: Harlequin

Sagittarius 

Everybody loves a Slinky. That’s cause a slinky has no spine. He flips and he flops every which way you throw him. He never complains, he always keeps going, he’s the perfect soldier. OK, enough of the slinky routine, it never quite suited you anyway. Time to stiffen up those coils: Maybe stand out in the rain for a bit, let your metal rust and harden. When you return from the woods, all natured up, with a sprig in your coil and scrappy thickened wire, they’ll think twice before pushing you around again. Advice from the cosmos is to let Mother Nature empower you. Strain recommendation: Haley’s Comet

Capricorn 

Two childhood games that were rarely used as prescribed—Dominos and Hot Wheels. Dominos were usually lined up in perfect order to knock down and rarely played as a game. Hot Wheels were used for racing until we discovered the tracks made for excellent smacking tools. I remember track shaped welts often adorning my thighs and arms and those of my siblings and friends; we were relentless with them. You, Capricorn, also rarely use what you have as it’s meant to be used. You are a rule maker, always putting a new spin on the established way, or adding your own little tag to what came before. This is a useful skill for an artist but a frustrating one for anyone working in a traditional hierarchical structure. Keep this in mind as you butt against the powers that be this week, and try to redirect some of that creative energy away from resisting policies and into making some art on the side. Strain recommendation: Fruit

Aquarius

Your life looks pretty different from what it was 10 years ago. It’s almost like you took your life Etch-a-Sketch and shook until the slate was pure as newly fallen snow and then built a new future, turn by turn. Now it has a slightly messy but pretty nice looking shape to it, but your drawing has practically filled the screen. So your question this week is: Did you fit everything you wanted in there? You are quickly approaching the time when you either have to carry it carefully over to the display case and never touch it again, or shake shake shake, shake your booty till it’s wiped clean.  The choice is yours, but the timing isn’t, so get to thinking! Strain recommendation: Casey Jones

Pisces

My friend, who is seven, loves EVERYTHING PIKACHU. I mean if she could cover her walls, sheets, books and food in Pikachu stuff she would. Have you ever felt that way about anything? Have you ever plastered your walls with pictures of bands, or some faraway place you wanted to visit, or a movie you loved? When was the last time you loved anything that much? This is the week to stoke the fire in your soul and get downright obsessive about your passion. If you don’t know what it is, now’s the time to figure it out. Your infatuation fever is running high, your devotion is pure; if ever your energies could make something wonderful happen, it is now. Strain recommendation: Permafrost

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