High Horoscopes | May 27, 2016


As one of the zodiac’s great risk takers, it’s not surprising that when wildness comes to town your instinct is to run right alongside it. Or even out-howl it from time to time. And there are so many fellow wild ones sprinting through the moonlit woods just now. It creates a shimmer in the air that can shake your soul right out of your body – if you let it. Now however, you must seek peace of mind. A slow, methodical calm that will surround you with a soft, gentle breeze and guide you down a clear path, so that you can lead the others through the trees safely. Hold the course.
Strain recommendation: Blue Diesel

You can’t let those heavy lids fall, can you? They droop and water, you rub them with the back of your hand, but when you lay down to rest in the dark, your senses are even more heightened and your mind races. The world is just too exciting to turn away from for 6-9 excruciating hours a night. What a wonderfully lovely problem to have. If you can find a way to relax about not getting enough hours in, maybe your body will discover the unbelievable joy of daytime napping, and then you can continue to explore the world while keeping your mind functional.
Strain recommendation: Purple Trainwreck

It’s your birthday time, little doggy. Time to celebrate! You’re a bit older now, surely, and maybe you had a little surgery and have to wear the cone of shame. Perhaps they shaved your bum fur and yes, it can be hard to get older, especially when your own puppy is just the bell of the squeaky ball. Look at her run! She’s just so cute, while they all now refer to you as Frankenbum. You know you should be happy with the extra bit of BBQ birthday sausage you got, but when she got to play in the ocean as you sat on the beach because of your tush stitches– well it wasn’t so cute anymore. But hey, bravo for keeping it cool, old girl. What you may have lost in energy you have gained in grace. Stop comparing yourself to the puppies; they are lovable but you forget how quickly their enthusiasm wears thin.
Strain recommendation: Sweet Tooth

If I were to compare you to a snail this week, you might assume I meant that you were slow to act or slow to change. But in fact, I mean that you are hiding in your emotional shell, keeping secrets and having difficulty connecting to those around you. Also, you are slow. Slow to recognize that this behavior is in direct opposition to what you hope to achieve – a more personal and trusting relationship with someone you care for. Get a mini hammer and break out from the inside, release yourself from your confines and trust without insurance.
Strain recommendation: Space Queen

When the team gets a new player, they’re often razzed and tested by the group. How far can we push until he breaks? What will she put up with? How good a sense of humor do they have? You are a natural leader, and so you are confronted more often — but less severely  — than new recruits. It’s not quite hazing, more like the way a teenager tests his parental limits. It’s quite nice not being humiliated and teased like the youngins, though sometimes you miss the camaraderie that comes after those grueling early days. Well, now’s your chance. You get to be a beginner again and feel all the awful bits of it, and then reap all the rewards.
Strain recommendation: Blue Widow

Whether or not you are a George Michael fan, it’s hard not to feel “Freedom” when it plays; it makes you strut and vibe, and actually feel kind of free. So do I need to prescribe a dance break for you, or can you find it within your being to release yourself from the current trappings of your life? It’s not just for your own wellbeing that I recommend this, but to help those you think you have been restraining yourself for this whole time. Some softness is also required, with yourself as well as anyone who can’t understand why you need some alone time.
Strain recommendation: Skunk No.1

Comedians complain about how the sweeping trend of political correctness is ruining their industry, as well as dampening all of our abilities to laugh at ourselves — which could lead to a serious cultural deficit in the future. People who can’t reflect on themselves with light and perspective are doomed to be swallowed into a solipsistic abyss of their own making. That being said, this week: please choose your words carefully. Some of the peeps in your posse are feeling über sensitivo this week and you are not going to win any friends by poking the bear.
Strain recommendation: Sunset Sherbet

The second half of 2016 will soon be upon us. A mid-year second chance to make a new resolution; one that could stick this time. Maybe without all of the romance and excitement and then inevitable let-down of the holidays to confuse and inspire you, you can select one that is actually achievable. My suggestion is to let go of any grudges you have been carrying since the winter season. The weight of it causes more strain than even you are aware of, so for your own peace of mind, resolve to release.
Strain recommendation: God Bud

No one enjoys when their weaknesses are dragged into the light for all to see.
It can feel like a form of torture, punishment or at the very least – just kind of mean. So how do you combat this? By sitting with the comments, learning from them, accepting and moving forward. Then it is no longer a punitive action, it’s self-improvement. The best way to beat the mean girls is to become the cool girl – and a truly cool girl is one who grows through difficulty and never lets an opportunity to improve pass her by due to something as meaningless as ego.
Strain recommendation: Ogre

A little bit of pain comes to everyone from time to time, be it physical, mental, emotional or spiritual. Similar to the sayings about fear or obstacles, pretending you are unaffected by it is not the way to prove what strong stuff you are made of – feeling it and carrying on regardless it is the real power move. When the twinge strikes, grip the nearest person’s arm and clench down with your nails if you need to – admit, yes it hurts, a lot. And then get what needs to be done DONE. If you fear imposing your crap on the people around you, remember that it’s no coincidence that pop culture has moved from idolizing stoic Eastwood cowboys to a teeth-gnashing DiCaprio wilderness survivors. We want to see the journey.
Strain recommendation: Jean Guy

You are a caretaker and a giver of gentle love, unconditionally. That doesn’t mean you don’t want to punch a wall sometimes – even a facade with the face of the one you are caring for tacked up on it. Your beautiful strength comes from being able to continue to love despite what you are given in return. For too long, the grace of the unselfish has been viewed as weak or timid, but I want to return to the pre-1980s individualized/actualized/recognized SELF. I think we’ve had enough time with it now to understand that at occasionally we need to stick up for ourselves, to value ourselves, to tell our truths. So can we please return now to a time when the heroes were people like you who comfort, heal and listen?
Strain recommendation: 9 Pound Hammer

You are still caught in a whirlwind, aren’t you? I’m sure you’ve wondered when it will calm and your peace will return. Haven’t you discovered yet that you’ve created this weather pattern yourself, and that if you just shift internally a bit and embrace the chaos, you will thrive? Releasing the future plans you’ve had, the goals you were working towards, and returning to an almost childlike perspective, living moment to moment, is the way through this. You fear the loss of that future. It feels quite black and white right now. But if you release and allow, perhaps you can achieve both objectives, no matter how contrary they seem. A third option exists, you just can’t see it for all the wind, cows and haystacks circling you.
Strain recommendation: Plushberry

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