The HIGH TIMES weekly astrological forecast, complete with strain recommendations!
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ARIES
No one recommends doing a 500 piece jigsaw puzzle in the middle of a hurricane, and yet that’s your deal this week. Your futile attempts to keep the pieces together will quickly override completing the actual puzzle. You are scrambling to control the destruction around you, making it impossible to work towards your real life goals. The twist is that working on the goals would actually minimize the impact of the shit flurry. Bit of a catch-22, no? The good news is you have already taken the first step towards sanity: stepping out of the direct path of the storm. Now get back to building your final image as fast as you can. Strain recommendation: Cherry Bomb
TAURUS
Preserving and protecting the heritage of your family, culture, religion, or language is a weighty and honorable responsibility. However, quickly changing social norms can show some of your principles to be dusty and antiquated. Someone who can hold space for the past while being in the moment and working towards a better the future deserves an award for contortionism. The cosmos applaud your ambition and grant you a small reprieve from these demands this week. Take a bit of time off to ensure you don’t wrap your dedication up with anger and frustration. Calm the senses and return to the struggle once you are well balanced. Strain recommendation: Yoda’s Brain
GEMINI
Health issues have been pestering you, like a warning alarm sounding off quietly but consistently from a car just down your street. Sometimes you can ignore the noise by diverting yourself with entertainment or work, but the moment your focus lapses you hear the horn again. If you are putting off a doctor visit out of fear or insurance issues, you must sort that shit out. The problems are little now, but with time they will worsen. This is a cosmic reality check; seek medical attention. No puns or allusions for you this week: whether it is physical, emotional or mental, something needs seeing to, so hop to it. Strain recommendation: Alien Rift
CANCER
Good day Sunshine! Light is pouring into the crevices of your soul, filling in the dark places with optimism and love for humankind. You’ve been struggling for a little while, negotiating with your shadow self while keeping up a bright smile for all the world to see. This week is a reward for recent sufferings: a weightless dance through life with affection coming from all corners. Sometimes, when you’ve been bereft of emotional connection, a little tenderness can play tricks on you. Suddenly you’re welling up at commercials and thanking telemarketers. Well, let the tears flow; they will help carve a more accessible path to your heart for the future. Strain recommendation: Batgirl
LEO
A flag of truce is waving. Put down the rotten eggs and step away from the water balloons. What a shame, your plans were excellent, well detailed and inventive. The fun of war, the joys that come with exercising yourself and competing against a well-matched foe, must be abandoned. But the benefits of peace outweigh these losses, at least in theory. Not all reunions are heartwarming however, especially when the other party doesn’t seem genuinely happy to compromise. Try to put aside your awareness of their hesitations and look at the actions they have taken to make this treaty happen. Strain recommendation: Sonic Screwdriver
VIRGO
The film genre that makes the most use of international actors would have to be Science Fiction. The reasoning for this, I imagine, is that futuristic or hypothetical worlds don’t need to be limited by naturalistic locality. The result is that vast arrays of accents are accepted as commonplace. However, it was not until quite recently that cultural and gender varieties have been allowed to mingle freely, and even be lead characters with goals of their own. You’ve always been an open-minded sort, in the past you often led the way towards inclusion, but the most recent societal leaps forward have left you trailing a little. You’re pointed in the right direction, but you aren’t on the vanguard anymore. Try paying a little more attention to ideas that make you uncomfortable. Strain recommendation: Hawaiian snow
LIBRA
Romance is elusive. Once it’s gone it’s difficult to get back without a life changing event (wedding, baby, big move) or a security threat (illness/long distance/cheating). So many couples fall victim to creating drama unnecessarily because they are searching to renew the passion they once had. Finding comfort and love when the passion has calmed is the true test of a relationship. The same goes for all new ventures; it’s just more disappointing when it comes to love since it has been built up by society as life’s panacea. Try to keep this in perspective. If you can trust that you don’t need obsessive passion to feel for your partner or project, then your love may deepen more than you ever imagined. Strain recommendation: Strawberry Cough
SCORPIO
You are in the spiritual zone! Like a cosmic goalie, you’ve been fending off shots from lady misfortune all year, ensuring success for your team. As an indispensible member, your stock rises every time you connect to the life energy around you in deeper, more substantial ways. Signs, coincidences, symbolic messages; the universal connectors are revealing themselves. You must stay awake to these missives, as a larger story will begin to unravel before your eyes. You may find yourself in prime position to affect the development of the future, not just yours, but the whole team’s. Strain recommendation: Shoreline
SAGITTARIUS
Hold on to your knickers folks, this life can be one hell of a scary ride. No skeletons on strings or bowls of peeled grapes in glycerin; the real world of adult fears like failure, abandonment, loss and illness are more paralyzing than any closet hiding creepy crawly. It’s frightening to be a grown-up sometimes. The simplistic monster under the bed is replaced by complex behaviors, which trap us in destructive patterns, grief and pain. We are our own greatest fears. You have a magic sword this week however, one that glows in the dark, shows horrors for what they are and cuts them down to size. You have some bushwhacking to do—head deep towards the middle of that terrifying internal jungle and kill some ghoulies. Take no prisoners! Strain recommendation: Island Sweet Skunk
CAPRICORN
Cappys are warriors, whether they be fierce or gentle, their determination and force is intense. When they don’t have a goal ahead of them, something to fight towards, they curl into themselves like kittens on a warm blanket. A day of this is warranted, but without focus for their passion, it can turn into a week, a month, even a lifetime. That is when the kitten becomes a snake eating its own tail, with no inspiration to create the new projects that will bring them energy. If you are a contract worker or self employed this can be hazardous. This week you must summon the strength to make and slog through a to-do list every day. If you can achieve enough minor accomplishments in a row, you might trick yourself into releasing some of the endorphins that come with success, thereby making the creation process a bit easier. Strain recommendation: Chronic
AQUARIUS
Money may make the world go round but it makes your stomach churn. You often feel under the gun, with disaster looming. Whether this is an accurate portrait of your financial status is beyond the point, the feeling of doom looms large on your psyche. You do your best to ignore it, and when you can’t, you obsess over working harder than most humans are capable. But throwing yourself at your job won’t alleviate the stress. Until you have a big enough nest egg you will always carry the fear with you. This week you are particularly vulnerable to worry. Instead of turning a blind eye or signing up for more shifts, try to put a name to what has you so panicked. You may find that it has nothing to do with cash or the lack thereof. Strain recommendation: Wonka’s Bubblicious
PISCES
Your loved one is not well. This hurts you more than it does them. You feel useless. Try to remember, if you can, that all things change. This moment of difficulty will shift, as will your relationship to it. Allow the both of you to find the light moments and laugh and joke and talk about other things. Distraction can be a godsend, for you and them. Try not to wear your worry like a cloak of silence, share your feelings with friends who are not involved with the situation, strangers even. Some distance will help clear your head, making you better equipped to help others. Strain recommendation: Blue Sky
