The HIGH TIMES weekly astrological forecast, complete with strain recommendations!
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Aries
This past weekend’s Saturday Night Live featured a skit satirizing Beyoncé’s video ‘Lemonade,’ replacing her empowered women with the ladies in Donald Trump’s life telling him how over they are with his misogyny. While the sketch was amusing, the ending was sadder than funny when Trump arrived, called for them to follow him and they hopped to it eagerly. What this says about the state of feminism in America is actually deeper than simple parody. This not only critiques Trump’s world, but also shows SNL somewhat adding to the problem by ridiculing women who are unhappily controlled by a man. You could learn something from this, Aries; sometimes your prejudice is exposed when you call out someone else’s. Strain recommendation: Citrus Kush
Taurus
You know you have a stubborn streak, so it’s no surprise that from time to time your unwillingness to play along ruffles some feathers. If you looking to change, this week is the perfect time. You may fear you are an old dog, unable to learn new tricks, but I opine that if dolphins and whales can adapt to the water enough to make their legs redundant, you can ease off the bullish behavior. If a worm that is cut in half can re-grow a new tail, you can let someone else win. Once monogamy became popular, the human penis lost the spines it once needed to ensure the sperm would overtake that of its competitors. Don’t you think you can go for Italian instead of Chinese once in a while? Strain recommendation: Purple Dream
Gemini
Is there anything to the Tom, Tim and Tony Robbins commonality? The only shared traits between them I can perceive is that they are all famous, white, somewhat dark haired, male, Americans, who are currently alive. Yet because of their names, their life paths are intertwined. I’m sure they’ve all been mistaken for each other a multitude of times. There are some people you are linked to for the tiniest of reasons, things that you have no control over and yet they remain present in your life. Is there something to be learned from these connections? Give a little thought to that cousin of your childhood neighbor who happened to end up dating your college ex and then got a job next to your wife’s favorite bakery. He might have something important to say if you can push past the small talk. Strain recommendation: Rug Burn OG
Cancer
Can you identify the intersecting idea in the following statements: ‘Someone who can’t acknowledge their faults will never be able to change’ and ‘Wisdom can only be found in the unwilling leader, the moment the desire to lead emerges they are no longer suitable’? Their meeting place is where self-awareness causes change; one speaks to the inability to deepen a personal journey, the other to the loss of purity. Whether your upcoming shift will ultimately take you where you want to go is not as important as letting the change happen. Denying internal awareness can lead to intense psychic pain. Strain recommendation: Dutch Dragon
Leo
A single Leo friend of mine was telling me today about how a mutual friend wants to set him up with a woman who is also half Korean/half European. We discussed how ridiculous and prejudiced it seemed to assume they would get along based only on their shared heritage but also how nice it would be to find someone who might experience the world from a similar viewpoint—to be an ally and empathize (not just sympathize) when life gets weird in that specific way. He has decided to open himself up to a possible connection and go on the blind date after all. This makes me think of my other Leo friends who are putting their desire to connect before all else these days. It’s hard to do, especially when there is good reason to not, but the cosmos have got your back this week if you want to give it a shot. Strain recommendation: Gigabud
Virgo
You are in Star Trek, on the Enterprise and are invited to go on an away mission. You realize upon transporting to the surface that you are the only non-bridge crewmember and you are wearing the infamous red shirt uniform (note to non-trekkies; no-name characters wearing red tops are doomed to die quickly). So, you have identified yourself as the disposable one. Do you accept your fate and die saving Kirk from a badly papier-machéd lizard or do you make your presence known as an individual with all the complexities of a McCoy or Spock who deserves their own 15 minutes of fame? It’s time to let them know with whom they are dealing! Strain recommendation: Peppermint Cookies
Libra
Learning can be difficult, especially when time is not on your side. My friend Juju, a magnificent singer, had four hours to learn a very complicated song before hosting a huge event. She struggled and hated the imposition that had been put upon her. She fought with the song, making little sense of it, unable to appreciate the musicality through her fear. It was only when she allowed herself to notice how beautiful the song was and how much work the composer had put into it was she able to learn the piece. She had to thank him for his work before she could do hers. This advice seems obvious, but we all need to be reminded from time to time to be thankful for the artistry in our world and how it improves our lives. The ease that comes after that is a form of grace. Strain recommendation: Mexican Sativa
Scorpio
The G-string on a guitar differs from the others because its 4th fret is used to tune the following string, as opposed the 5th. Some swear the G is also the one that needs the most tuning. How unfair it seems that the sole string of difference also bears the weight of usually being out of tune? There are people who feel like the G-string of society: socially, one step off and then additionally unable to hold on to any moments of synch they manage to find. As a socially comfortable Scorpio, you should spread your love to those poor Gs, taking them under your warm feathered wing when you can. Show some sympathy for the wonderful weirdoes, they have a lot to deal with (not to mention having a name that connotes butt floss). Strain recommendation: Alaskan Ice
Sagittarius
Stef, a lovely pal of mine, is convinced a good witch lives on her street. She loves seeing this woman work in the community garden and looks forward to passing her on the street. Just when Stef needed to feel the universe loved her, this lady smiled at her so deeply that it brings her to tears just talking about it. She says the witch let her know how easy it is to smile. We project what we need on to others all the time, and while the cynical part of me hopes that Steffy’s joy is never shattered by actually speaking to this woman—inevitably becoming disappointed—a larger part of me is thankful this force of positivity is near to my friend, helping her see through the darkness from time to time. If you can shatter your misanthropic lens this week, you might be able to spot your own good witch, waiting to show you how easy life can be. Strain recommendation: Green Monster
Capricorn
After spending most of the day working alone, I called a taxi to meet some friends for evening drinks and immediately became annoyed with the dispatcher for a silly misunderstanding. The impatient driver then increasingly bothered me: I deemed his smile to be false and grumbled quietly to myself in the back seat. However, halfway to my destination I thought “perhaps these people aren’t the reason for my grumpiness; maybe I’ve been in a bad mood all day but didn’t notice because no one’s been around to set me off.” Just then the driver thanked me for suggesting a good route, and my hardness softened a bit. Then he sincerely thanked me for a very average tip. I left feeling buoyed by this man’s genuine sweetness and happy that I stepped back enough from my outward irritation to let his warmth infect me. Please do the same this week. Strain recommendation: Loud Dream
Aquarius
A cook I know called Roy often complains that he always takes the heat for his colleagues, manning all the stations when others take long smoke breaks and muck around. He’ll take the shifts no one wants to be good team player and says he always gets burnt covering for management scheduling mistakes by running too many stations at once. When the line is busy, Roy describes it as being “in the fire.” Meanwhile, he has very real burns all up his forearms from working the sauté station. If ever there was a physical representation of an emotional state, it is this. Have you been banging your leg a lot lately because you need to take a stand? Or maybe you’ve got laryngitis because you haven’t been speaking up for yourself? Listen to your physical self for guidance. Strain recommendation: Strawberry Ice
Pisces
Hanna Rosin’s The End of Men: And the Rise of Women is a big, bright yellow book with large pink writing on the cover. Every time my friend’s mom has it out, her husband rolls his eyes and moans that his days as a man are over. While this amuses my friend, her mother has taken to leaving the book face down to avoid this show of frustration, even if it is done teasingly. This reminds me of the Hitchiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, which supposedly has the words “DON’T PANIC” in large friendly letters on its cover. Both are well-meaning guides to living in the new world yet their titles serve only to scare off those who need to read it the most. I feel your book cover is reading the opposite of what you want it to say. Take a look in the mirror and see if you can adjust the words scrawled on your forehead, even if they are backward and upside down. Strain recommendation: Cotton Candy Kush
