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High Horoscopes | Sept. 29, 2016

Aelie Câlin

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The HIGH TIMES weekly astrological forecast, complete with strain recommendations!

Ask Aelie anything! Find her on Facebook and Twitter.

ARIES
Apparently no one walks in LA, but there you are, tromping up and down those hills, you and your little dog too! Being car-less there is unthinkable for most, but you turned your lemon car in and made healthy lemonade. This positive approach is addictive and infectious; before you know it you will have turned your whole world around. You did it, step by step, and you’ve got no one else to thank but lil’ ol’ you. Take pride, but don’t take a nap, keep the motor going. You think you are doing it alone, but you are inspiring lots of folks along the way. Even the ones whipping by in their cheeseball Vipers, vaping and sucking down chocolate smoothies. Strain recommendation: Blue Crack

TAURUS
Boredom is a dangerous state. It can cause a sufferer to imbibe to much of, partake in, tune in to any number of things to avoid a single moment of non-stimulation. Scientists, however, have recently deduced that our artistic creativity is hampered now that our society has found so many ways to distract us from our own wandering thoughts. The natural way our body staves off boredom is with our imagination. If we don’t exercise it, like most muscles, it will atrophy. The cosmos are prescribing some boredom for you this week. They want you to let that beautiful mind of yours journey unrestrainedly. The solutions you seek are hiding somewhere between Fantasia and Wonderland but you have to wade through the DMV and the dentist office to get there. Strain Recommendation: Royal Kush

GEMINI
Spotify, Amazon, Netflix; I keep finding myself paralyzed by too much choice. It’s a similar feeling to confronting the blank page or lump of clay—the possible directions are illimitable, and that is awkward for us mere humans who find comfort in beginnings and endings. As a youngster, the idea of a never-ending universe was exciting and frustrating to imagine, not frightening. Why do we need our constraints as we age? You’d think as we become more aware that our lives are limited we’d lean into infinity with more vigor. The cosmos are predicting some endings for you soon so you might want to get yourself philosophically tuned into what you believe is eternal before dealing intimately with the boundaries of the physical world. Strain recommendation: Cotton Candy Kush

CANCER
Some days the world feels wrong. The air is qualitatively different: thicker, fuzzier. Everything feels like it’s moving through Jell-O, as if it’s a hazy high Sunday afternoon in a hammock but really it’s a sober Tuesday at 3pm and you have work. Your connection to the humans and animals in your life is stretched, not broken or strained, just slightly further away than usual. You are the only one to notice, and it is deeply unsettling. This is commonly referred to as disassociation. Don’t panic. It will pass. It’s disconcerting, but while you have it try to see what life is like for those who never quite manage the daily grind and the interpersonal relationships thing. Take it as a mental health awareness day. Strain recommendation: Timewreck

LEO
If you haven’t watched Tig Notaro’s new TV show One Mississippi yet, I’d suggest it. Not just because of the high quality performances and storytelling, but for the themes of loss and change that are dealt with in exceedingly compassionate and light hearted ways. This is the exact approach you need to take this week. Not just for those around you, but with yourself. Being able to warmly accept and wryly tease yourself is a valuable tool in the Mindfulness practice. Have laughs, will travel. Strain recommendation: Orange Juice

VIRGO
It’s build your own bear week (and by bear I mean blind date and by build I mean meet and by own I mean worst)! This could be a metaphor; the blind date representing something unexpected bringing you a crappy week ahead. Then again this could be literal and you will actually have a terrible date with a friend of a friend. Either way you have some disappointment coming from someone you haven’t yet met. Try to remember in the face of it that just one week ago you didn’t even know that person existed. Keep the scope of your whole life in perspective and know this is but a drop in the bucket. Strain recommendation: Peppermint Cookies

LIBRA
What have you done with your responsibilities? Did you forget your even temperament on the bus? Did the dog chew your color-coded life plan? What happened to you this week? Libra, the champion of the well-balanced, is slumming it with the silly and shady! And why not? They are more fun than the usual uptight ethics brigade you hang with and you deserve a little easy-street time. No one works like a Libra, always dragging the rocks up the hill, one by one, never using the automated pulley, no, that would be lazy. Well, this week call in sick, catch a bus to Atlantic City and let luck be your lady for a change. It’s a good time to be careless and risky. Strain recommendation: Green Monster

SCORPIO
So when the aliens come, with smiles and open arms, will you walk into their oddly squishy embrace or cock the gun secreted away in your pocket? Whether of not you are trusting by nature will play heavily in the movements of your week to come. It would be easy to recommend being open-minded or to be wary, but the answer lies in a mix of the two. Being able to hold the two states simultaneously is difficult but when managed will unlock a control unknown to you. Cautious optimism has led many a revolution to peaceful change. Be the future you envision. Strain recommendation: Seattle Cough

SAGITTARIUS
You may be have been challenged, as I have, to participate in the latest viral charity Internet trend: 22 pushups for 22 days for veterans with PTSD. If you have, you may recognize as I did that as the days pass, while struggling to repeatedly hoist our bodies up against the laws of gravity, we remember that we are lucky to currently have a functioning bodies. As we count off the push-ups, we remember that we are fortunate to currently have clear minds, unclouded by mental disability. Sags have even more opportunity to learn from difficult tasks this week. Search for the meaning behind the discomfort. Strain recommendation: Ice Queen

CAPRICORN
Have you ever remarked how much you sound just like your mother/father? So much of what we become originates in our past. Our formation takes many years so we don’t usually notice our parentally learned behavior for a while, but once we are done trying on all those sexy and fun alternate personas, all that stuff starts to bubble up. At times I’ll find myself hitting a particular vocal pitch when nagging my partner to do the dishes that will absolutely stop me in my tracks. I remember when I first realized that I am not solely myself, but also made up of the people who came before me. It was a confusing moment. Some of your heritage is showing this week. Will you be able to embrace the parts of you that used to drive you crazy as a kid, or insist that you are completely self-made? Strain recommendation: Super Silver Haze

AQUARIUS
The cosmos are applauding you. They know your lifelong difficulties with admitting vulnerability, and that this past week was a kind of reckoning for you in that regard. Letting yourself acknowledge that you have difficulties you can’t control was a huge step, and now you must make another. You can’t sit in your accomplishment for too long before basking in it turns into yet another way to distract from the real problem source. Like a shark, you have to keep moving forward of you will die, or at least the positive momentum you gained from this achievement will dissipate. Jump in and explore; it will be nasty and messy and last longer than you want, but the other side will be so very tasty. Strain recommendation: Tangerine Dream

PISCES
You need an adventure to clear out the cobwebs: a little wind in your hair and a little shake in your booty to revitalize your soul and activate your body. Your passion project has turned into a hanging obligation, more of a have-to than a want-to. A new landscape will bring visions of a life as of yet imagined, and perhaps a new way to invigorate your old dream. If a trip is out of the question, take a mini mind break. Meditate, eat lunch in a park you’ve never been to, talk to the person next to you in line as if you are a tourist looking for suggestions of fun things to do-anything to get a breath of fresh air into those tired lungs. Strain recommendation: Bubble Gum

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