The High Priestess: Creating a Self-Love Ritual for Valentine’s Day and Beyond

Welcome back weed witches and stoner babes and bros! We’re officially halfway through Winter, and Spring is almost around the corner. The wheel of the year continues to turn and warm days smoking j’s feel closer than ever. We’re in the thick of heady and freaky Aquarius season, and we have plenty to celebrate. Not only do we have a roaring and intense Leo Full Moon on February 9^th that’s asking us to shine as bright as we can, but we have Valentine’s Day on the 14^th not long after. And while this holiday can definitely be filled with capitalist BS, let us not forget it invites us into one of the best combinations of things out there: sex, weed, and magick. 

While Valentine’s Day is often marketed as a day in which we confess our love to others, and buy them hundreds of dollars’ worth of things while we do so, I like to see this holiday as a chance to celebrate self-love, and the sensuality that comes with honoring your own body. Thankfully, we can work with cannabis, magick, and our own sexual energy to supercharge this Hallmark holiday into something meaningful and intentional for ourselves. Instead of focusing our gaze on others—and our perceived lack of this “other”—we can use cannabis as a vehicle for supercharging ourselves with self-love, abundance, and sexual (aka life force) energy.

This High Priestess column is a build-your-own adventure for a high magick self-adoration ritual. You can work with this on Valentine’s Day or whenever you want to honor yourself and attract more love into your life. 

Set An Intention

Before you begin your ritual of self-devotion, think of what you want to call in. Are you looking to love yourself more? Attract more love in your life? Connect with your sensuality and sexuality? Take some time to think about this and get clear with what you want out of this ritual before you begin. Take the time to explore this, asking the cannabis plant what you should lean into. Trust your inner guidance. Later on, you’ll be able to meditate, journal, practice magick, or pull tarot cards to further draw this intention to you. 

Pick Your Poison

Once you know your intention, it’s time to figure out how you want to work with cannabis to enhance your ritual. While you can do this entire ritual sober or without working with cannabis at all, what would this column be if I didn’t give you plenty of THC and CBD infused ways to enrich this experience? 

Edibles

If you’re looking for my personal recommendation for a wonderful body high that will help you feel electric and inspired, then I recommend taking edibles. Not only do edibles last longer than smoking, but the physical high they give you is unmatched. I’ve been obsessed with Wyld Huckleberry Hybrid Gummies—and no this isn’t sponcon!  Since I’ve been taking a break from smoking, I’ve been experimenting with edibles and this brand is my favorite. Plus, they also make a few different kinds of CBD gummies if you’re not looking to be stoned during your ritual.

Flower

If you’re looking to incorporate smoking into your ritual, then think about the sort of sensations you want to experience. Though the idea of sativa versus indica isn’t quite as accurate as we think, you can still think about if you want more of a body or head high and act accordingly. If you’re looking to be more relaxed, you may want to try a high CBD strain like ACDC. 

Other Herbs

If you are smoking some flower, then this is the perfect time to add some other herbs to your bowl, joint, or bong. You may wish to smoke some rose to further cultivate the energy of romance and love in yourself, while also adding a floral taste to your cannabis. Or perhaps you want to smoke some damiana, which is an aphrodisiac and helps awaken and enhance sexual energy. Even chamomile can add a sense of calming warmth to your smoke session, to help you feel safe and more comfortable throughout your ritual. 

Topical or Suppository

Perhaps the most appropriate way to incorporate cannabis into a sensual ritual is through a topical like a lube, or through a suppository. Cannabis can enhance blood flow to the genitals, which enhances sensation, and can also be used to help reduce pain during penetration. If you want to try a lube to enhance your experience during sex, you may wish to try Foria Awaken. However if you want to make sure your bits are relaxed and pain free, you may wish to try their Intimacy Suppositories.  

Topical

Since this is a sensory ritual, you can also work with topicals as a way to connect to both cannabis and your body. You can melt into the relaxing effects of plant magick with a CBD infused body oil, or a CBD bath bomb or give yourself some love by rubbing yourself with some pain relieving body lotion before you dive into your ritual.

Set The Scene

Once you know how you want to work with cannabis, now is the time to get everything in order. Read the next step for some options for how to create a self-love ritual for yourself and then grab the necessary supplies. Before any ritual, you’ll want to make sure the space is set. Dim the lights, light some candles or incense, cleanse with sacred smoke like that from copal or frankincense for protection, or use some mugwort to connect more fully to your psychic senses and inner divine guidance. Drink some water, turn your phone on silent, and put on some ambient music, or something sexy that will help you get in the mood. Let roomies or partners know to leave you alone, and then get ready to rumble. 

Pick Your Method of Self-Inquiry And Exploration

Now you’ll be getting to the ritual. You may pick one of the following, or you may pick all of them. Do whatever resonates with you. Once your space is set and you feel relaxed, you can consume your cannabis, or if you’re using a topical, you can do this during the ritual you perform. If you’re working with an edible, keep in mind it may take an hour for you to feel these effects, so you may want to consume this before you start preparation for the ritual below. So smoke away, eat your edible, and rub yourself down with lotion or lube (keeping in mind cannabis lube is more of a marinade, and needs to be rubbed in for about 30-minutes, and will not actually act as a proper lubricant.)  And then let the self-love festivities begin! 

Journal

Since cannabis can help us lower our inhibitions and self-doubt, we can use this to help us explore our erotic selves with more confidence. Journaling is a beautiful ritual to perform during air-sign Aquarius season, since air is connected to the mind, the mental, and how we communicate and think. Use this time to be honest with yourself about self-love, and allow yourself to feel whatever it is you’re feeling. After smoking or giving yourself a massage with some CBD lotion or oil, use these questions to help start your journey, and free-write, doodle, brain map, or brain dump around whatever comes up.

• Where am I currently in my self-love journey?
• What does it mean for me to feel cared for, appreciated and safe?
• Where in my life do I feel cared, appreciated and loved?
• Where would I like more love, sexuality and eroticism in my life?
• What am I calling in this Valentine’s Day? Sex? Love? Kink? Self-Compassion?
• How does cannabis help me explore my erotic and sensual nature with more ease?

Work With Tarot

One of my favorite parts about working with cannabis is that it helps us reach an altered state- where we’re able to think and listen to our bodies in new ways. In my last column, I talked about reading tarot stoned, and this is something you can definitely add to your Valentine’s Day ritual—or any self-love ritual—to really dive into your subconscious and sexuality without shame. After thinking about what you want to ask your cards, take a moment to hold them and breathe into this desire or question. Remember to breathe! And as you’re ready, shuffle the cards and use the spread below to help you dive further into self-love.

Card 1- Where can I welcome more love into my life?

Card 2- How can I be more compassionate to myself?

Card 3- How can I embrace my erotic nature and sexuality more?

Card 4- How can I further embrace my magick?

Light a Candle and Meditate 

You’ll need: a chime candle, something to burn this in, a lighter or matches, paper and a pen. Optional: honey and rose petals to dress the candle

With your intention in mind, you can whittle this down to a sentence or two and then work with candle magick to help manifest into this reality. Get as clear as possible with your statement of intention, writing this down in the present or past tense depending on which feels more powerful to you. I always add “this or something better” and “for the highest good of all involved” to my intentions to align myself with the best outcome possible. 

IE: I am calling in embodied pleasure and more self-love. I am calling in an abundance of sensual and erotic experiences that are transcendent and affirming to my worth. This or something better, for the highest good of all involved. 

After you have your intention written, think of a word to represent what you want to call in, like “sensuality” or “self-love” or “abundance.” Using your pen, write this on your candle, from the top of your candle to the bottom. You can also dress your candle by rubbing it in honey, from each of the ends-in, and then sprinkling the candle with rose petals in the same way, to further draw sweetness and love into your life. Then light your candle and read your intention out loud three times as you feel this energy growing in your heart center.

When you’re ready, close your eyes and meditate or visualize what it would feel like to receive your intention. Allow yourself to bask in this energy of diving love and divine receiving until you feel the ritual is complete. When you’re done, let the candle burn down all the way, leaving this in a sink if necessary. If you can’t do this, then snuff or fan it out—never blowing it out as this is said to blow out the spell. Relight the candle as needed as you refocus on your intention. When it’s done burning, dispose of any excess wax at a garbage can at a three or four-way intersection. 

Dance

Dancing has been used to help us reach altered states of mind and to find transcendence for centuries. Moving the body is a sacred act. And working with movement and cannabis together is especially potent, since cannabis can help us lower inhibitions and feel more confident in ourselves. If you’re choosing to engage with dance in your self-love ritual, then you may wish to make a sensual playlist or choose some music that helps you get into the right headspace. You may wish to smoke some more before doing dancing as well. After making sure you have enough room to move your body, put your music on, and with your intention in mind, start to dance. You may wish to close your eyes. Breathe into your body. Try dancing from your sacral chakra—the energy center at your pelvis, where sexual and creative energy spring from. Allow yourself to move and slither, to lead with different parts of your body. As you dance, reconnect with your intention, calling this in as you continue to embrace your sensual essence in this way. You can also try spinning around in circles, which often leads to a trance state, and jumping around, shaking your body, and enjoying your corporeal shell until you feel this ritual is finished.

Take a Bath

One of my favorite ways to decompress and manifest (or banish) is through bath magick. Your bath acts as a cauldron of intention, and after setting up your space with any flowers, candles and crystals you’d like, you’ll be soaking in this spell and drawing your intention towards you. Think of decorating your space with red or pink roses, red or pink or white candles, and crystals like rose quartz, jade, or amethyst. You can put some music on as well, and turn off the lights if you really want to enjoy a bit of sensory deprivation. You can either use regular Epsom salt—or a lavender or rose version—or you may choose to work with a CBD or THC infused bath bomb or bath salts to further add this element of plant magick into your ritual. Personally, I always feel like a million bucks when I’m smoking a joint in the tub, so roll one up if you like and don’t forget to add some rose petals to your flower! As you sink into your bath, reconnect with your intention and give yourself plenty of time to breathe and decompress. You can also practice breathwork here, like the three-fold breath associated with the element of water—inhale / exhale/ hold—starting with four seconds for each piece of the breath. Try this for ten repetitions, and then enjoy your bath and all its magick.

Seduce Yourself

My favorite way to raise energy, especially during any ritual of self-love, is through masturbating. I have already written pretty extensively about sex magick and cannabis, but I’ll break it down again because it really is simple. So, your intention is set and you feel grounded and safe. You have your cannabis lube and/ or suppositories at the ready. You’ve worked with CBD or THC and you’re feeling comfortable, tranquil, and safe. Now, you’ll begin to masturbate. Take time to do this; make sure you’re breathing. Make sounds. Move your hips and your body. Touch yourself; your arms, your thighs, your breasts or chest. And as you raise energy in this way, continue focusing on the intention you set for the ritual. Continue to breathe into this intention, visualizing it in your mind’s eye and sending the sexual energy throughout your body, as you continue getting yourself closer and closer to climax. As you orgasm, or as you get as close as possible to doing this, you’ll focus on your intention and visualize sending this energy through the crown of your head to the cosmos. Then bask in the afterglow of this magick as you breathe this energy and intention throughout your body and feel it becoming reality. 

Close the ritual

After you’ve raised the energy and crafted a ceremony of self-love for yourself, it’s time to close the ritual. You may wish to work with cannabis again at this point, thanking the plant for its gifts and guidance. And make sure you thank yourself too! Stretch, drink some water, move your body and go kiss someone cute! Have the best Valentine’s Day and beyond. And so it is!