Having a great Halloween means visiting a haunted house or two, and the experience is even more fun—and also terrifying—while stoned with your senses enhanced to take in all the holiday horror! Here’s High Times round-up of some of the scariest, creepiest and unique haunted house attractions around the country to check out after you smoke out!
Fright Town—Memorial Coliseum at the Rose Quarter, Portland, OR
Stoner Appeal: With legal pot now on sale in Oregon, this Halloween in pot land is going to be extra-special. Fright Town, which features three “big fat haunted houses,” is an easy choice, given that one house—the Baron Von Goolo’s Museum of Horrors—features a “Weed with Roots in Hell” attraction. But there’s also The Madness, inspired by horror icon H.P. Lovecraft, and The Witch House, where you’re expected to survive an attack by a demon cult!
Nightmare on 9 Haunted House—Snohomish, WA
Stoner Appeal: Located in the legal state of Washington near pot-friendly Seattle, this attraction is based on a real-life horror—a former rendering plant that was shut down after Sam Thomas,one of the two brothers who owned it, was literally torn in half by a meat grinder. Was it an accident? Or was he pushed by his treacherous brother Dean? Does Sam’s spirit still haunt the plant? Find out while you’re high as a kite getting scared by spooks and monsters.
PennHurst Asylum—Spring City, Pennsylvania
Stoner Appeal: Another “real-life” haunt, this was a former state mental institution that combines high tech animatronics with digital sound to intensify the terror. Get a good buzz on before walking through the actual old cells that housed the clinically insane and the unjustly institutionalized alike. There are four levels of fright here, the last being the Ghost Hunt, a self-guided tour through an area said to be filled with supernatural spirits.
Haunted Hoochie at Dead Acres—Pataskala, OH
Stoner Appeal: For this insanity factory, you might want to go beyond mere weed and full-on trip because you’re warned that you’ll experience “risk of physical and emotional injury.” You don’t “visit” Haunted Hoochie as much as you charge into it screaming at the top of your lungs! The Hoochie even stays open after the bars close on weekends!
Curse of Slaughterhouse Gulch—Aurora, CO
Stoner Appeal: This may be the coolest named haunted house in America. Do you dig getting high and watching classic horror flicks? How about being blazed and going face-to-face with characters like Jigsaw, Leatherface and Freddy Krueger? Even better—book a cannabis VIP Tour where you first visit pot shops and then ride limo style while toking ganja on your way to the Gulch!
The Darkness—St. Louis, MO
Stoner Appeal: Genuinely considered to be the best “3D Haunt” in the U.S., with Hollywood-level special effects, The Darkness lends itself to a mind-expanding sativa high. It also features four attractions in one, including a Monster Museum, which really, every city should have.
Rob Zombie’s Great American Nightmare—Villa Park, IL
Stoner Appeal: For those who like puffing to Zombie’s music and movies, take it to the next level by baking before visiting his Chicago-area attraction, featuring three haunted houses for the price of one. There you’ll see real-life re-creations of Rob’s horror flicks like “The Devil’s Rejects.” Got monster-sized munchies? Head over to Bloody Boulevard for food and drink.
McKamey Manor—San Diego, CA
Stoner Appeal: This experience that can last from 4 to 7 hours, so you might want to consume edibles before entering. You’ll have to find out for yourself if McKamey is just an “extreme haunted house” or actually legal torture! Either way, this may be the closest you ever come to really living in a horror movie! You must sign a waiver before entering, be 21 or older, with VIP reservations for only two visitors at a time.
Hell in the Armory—Inferno, San Francisco, CA
Stoner Appeal: In San Francisco, one of America’s great cities for weed, a kinky haunted house is likewise a natural fit. Inferno is a Bay Area haunt with a sensual twist, featuring dungeons, chains, whips and leather!
Please add your suggestions for other great stoner haunted houses in the comments below!
Happy Hallo-Weed from High Times!