Jon’s Stone-Cold Cop List #34: Late Flowers for the Hallmark Day

Here we are again! February has flown by and while it’s still raining in Los Angeles, at least the days are starting to get longer. I think I touched on the winter sads last month, so no need to get too far into it this time. We all know the score.

I will say, however, looking back this month has been just what I needed. Given the early curfew of the Sun this time of year I’ve been going to bed at like 9 pm every night, and thanks to the pod I mentioned last month I’m waking up feeling more refreshed than ever. The early bedtime may also have been a result of judging the unusually large Zalympix preliminaries the past two weeks too – I’ve been HIGH high – but we’ll get into that shortly.

This month we’ve got a lot of new stuff from old favorites. While there’s always a ton of new coming to market, almost nothing that I’ve seen lately tops the latest work from these Cop List alumni. As such, most of these entries are giving flowers to familiar names. But don’t worry, there will be surprises, too! 

As always, you know we’ve got equal opportunity lungs over here, so don’t forget to hit me with whatever’s hyping you up right now if you don’t see it listed below – maybe it’ll make next month’s roundup!

Alien Labs Latest Pheno Hunt

I’m a big fan of bringing your consumers in on the pheno hunting process, and Alien Labs continues to lift the bar higher for us all. Their latest hunt for a Zkittlez x Headband cut is the best execution I’ve seen of this move so far. With four different phenos to select from, as well as a pack of Elements, an Alien lighter and a rolling tray, the box includes a QR code that allows you to ‘submit feedback to the mothership’ about your favorite. They’re also giving away an Xbox, PS5, or Nintendo Switch gaming console, branded like the box, to a lucky respondent, so not only do fans get a chance to help a leading brand choose their next cut, they could even get prizes for the luxury!

L.A. Family Farms

These guys have been on my radar for awhile now so I don’t want this to seem like they’re some newcomer to the game, but I can’t have a list of killers without including my favorite pre-roll of the moment. I’ve long been a fan of the glass tips these guys use for their filters for awhile now, but the latest batch I smoked shows me that they’ve perfected their rolling process as well, as these hash holes had the best airflow of any joint I’ve smoked in months. For real, it was like inhaling through a straw. What’s even better is both the flower and the hash included are top notch, so the extra airflow translates to increased flavor, which is pretty much the key factor in quality smoke right now. If you’re not yet hip, it’s time to get familiar.

Pink Zushi

In case the hype around Ten Co’s cult-followed Zushi cultivars wasn’t loud enough, the gang is taking things up to 11 through a new collaboration with Coi Leray, Pink Zushi. Now while I’m usually hard on celebrity plays, there’s something special about this one. Not only is Coi clearly bought into the brand, and showing up to promote it (unlike many of the other celebrity brands out right now), but Ten Co. wouldn’t let a bad cut tarnish their good name, and just because they’ve got some star power in tow for this one shouldn’t have you thinking it’s any less impactful. The legend’s just spreading its reach even further.

Fresh Vibez

There’s always got to be at least one totally new name in here, and this month Fresh Vibez takes that honor. While I’d never heard of them before, it’s clear they’ve been doing their thing for a minute, as they had all the right co-signs, and the flavor on these plants was incredible. I’ve been complaining lately that while there’s been a lot of terpy flower out lately, very few noses are translating to taste like they used to, and it’s been driving me crazy. Fortunately, these guys popped up at the perfect time, and they are one I’ll be keeping my eye on.

Planta’s New Gear

I’m a big fan of Freddie and Planta, and they’ve been mentioned here before, but these new cuts they got? These guys are about to move into their limelight moment. From the Coffin Candy that Doja’s been raving about to their new Zkillato cut, Planta’s team has clearly been paying keen attention to what’s been working in the market lately, and is ready to take on 2023 swinging. As I just complained about the lack of real flavor in the last mention on this list, this one’s another shining example of what happens when the flavonoids are actually in tow, and not just an afterthought.

Kapow’s Melon Berries

Now I’ve sung Kapow’s praises in here before. He’s another underground head who’s killing it not just in the weed game, but across culturally relevant industries like fashion and art as well. He’s at every hypebeast event, and usually leaves with the items everyone else is drooling over. Well friends, I am sorry to say that it’s not just his sneakers and toys that are crushing right now – his new Melon Berries cultivar is DRIPPING. As with most of his moves I’m sure it is hard as hell for joe everyman to obtain, but I would keep an eye on his page and see if he’s pulling through your town – if so you’re going to want to tap in.

Puro Luckys

I’ve told you in the past about the Puro Company and his fine rolling abilities, but his latest venture is a bit of a more attainable product for most consumers that you should know about. You see, while he typically rolls massive blunts, his new ‘Luckys’ are packs of infused pre-rolls, and while I’m often sus of products rolled in wax and kief, these guys not only smoke fantastically, they’re tasting incredible too. Puro only uses top shelf in all his gear, and while these new jawns may be rolled in paper instead of tobacco, they’re probably the only hyper infused J’s I’ll actively smoke going forward.

The Terp-fetti Joggers

Although Talking Terps consistently crushes the merchandise game, this particular drop is one I’ve waited a year for, and I’m so glad the day has finally come. The Terp-fetti fabric that they released a sweatshirt with a while back has finally arrived as joggers, and they’re my new favorite pants ever. Complete with a Crawford patch on one leg, a TT patch on the other, and an embossed logo on the butt pocket, these things are even more comfortable than they look – and boy do they look good. Now, I will be upfront and say that these are likely the most expensive sweatpants I have ever purchased, but I haven’t felt an ounce of buyer’s remorse now that I’ve got them on my body. In fact, the problem is really going to be taking them off to wash.

Myco.Oakland’s Merch

I’ve told you in the past about Myco’s Pinkies, and how incredible his larger fungal work is, but this time – and maybe for the first time ever for a mushroom company – I want to tell you about how dope the ancillary stuff he’s creating is. From puffer jackets to blankets to an assortment of plushes, the Oakland OG has been going hard with his branding, and the intensive and hands-on nature of his work deserves some shine. You see, dude’s not just taking run-of-the-mill shirts and sweaters and throwing his logo on it. No sir. For his work, he’s got people cut-and-sewing together the material, sourcing from the fabric level, and creating designs and items that you don’t only want to own, but you’ll want to display. I’m also stupid geeked on the character he’s created around Pinkies, and hope we see much more of that going forward!

Zalympix Prelims

I’ve covered Zalympix in the past but I’ve gotta heap a little praise toward the new direction they’re heading in with this year’s event. In the past all of their entrants were hand-selected by the organizers, which while leading to some truly great competitions, of course caused some people to feel left out. This year they’ve flipped the script and started off with a preliminary round, allowing nearly 110 contenders to bring their best to the table for a chance to be one of the final 27 to make the big show. I was fortunate enough to be one of the 25 preliminary judges who had to sort through these competitors over the past two weeks and I’ve got to say, it was one of the toughest challenges I’ve faced so far. I’m very excited to see where this goes – and in case you’re curious, it looks like we’re in for another candy-gas-heavy year.