Jon’s Stone-Cold Cop List #37: Back Out West

Last week was East coast, this week, we’re headed West. Featuring Archive, Terp Hogz, CGO, Squints, Planta and more!
Photo cred: @dammit__bobby_

Alright friends. On this beautiful morning—the morning of Hall of Flowers—I wanted to drop a surprise Cop List detailing a few more highlights that surrounded our favorite day of the year before I get lost in the sauce and forget about ‘em. Lots of great drops happened on or around 4/20, and despite being in New York for the holiday and upstate now for the Emerald Cup judges retreat yesterday & Hall of Flowers today, I couldn’t let these gems fall by the wayside.

While this one has several frequent flyers on it, it’s got several of my favorite picks ever as well, and a few fun bonus guys just for kicks. You know the drill. Maybe I’m getting old but I feel like I need to acknowledge that as much as I complain about the state of the larger industry and the overall sinking quality of products, the top guys just keep getting better.

As always, blow me up on twitter if you hate any of this, or just ping me with the new heat I should check out. My lungs are your lungs, and we’re all in this together.

Life Is Not Grape’s LameZ

Pictured: The Birria Pack. Not pictured: LameZ

You might’ve seen me tease this on my IG story earlier this year when he had finished his initial test batch (which was only 6 plants by the way—does it get any smaller batch than that?). I got excited, I jumped the gun. I’m sorry. It will probably happen again. BUT, my friends, fret not as the time has finally come to let the rest of the world into the fold. Fresh on the rec market, LING’s got a run of his original Z, that he’s dubbed LameZ, rather ironically because it’s anything but that. True to form he’s doing his whole emo thing, and I still have trouble believing this is the original Z because the structure on it is just too perfect, but you absolutely forget about the argument entirely once you smell and taste this flower. It’s as Z-lightful as any I’ve ever seen. It’s also true that Grape’s basically become my poquito hermano at this point, so you could call me bias in my decision that this is the current King of Z hill (heh heh, only teasing gents!), but ask yourself: does Jon really care about anything but the flower? I think we both know the answer to that question. Also shameless plug: gang’s dropping the Birria bundle (complete with a branded takeaway bag & container, it’s fkn perfect) this Saturday at GOAT Global in Westwood – pull up!

Planta’s Coffin Candy

Photo cred

Speaking of fkn superb flower (I know, I can’t believe I get to do this for a living either), this might be the LCG killer the market’s been waiting for. Doja called this ‘the candiest candy’ he’d ever smelt, and I agree so I’m taking it off instagram and publishing it on the record. It’s got the look the market wants, it’s got the smell – but the flavor, man! You don’t actually get to taste the sweetness in smoke like this very often. THIS is what everyone is looking for when they buy all that rerocked noise. Not to mention the launch kit for this one really touched my cold emo heart as the package was shaped like a coffin with an ounce miron jar laid up all pretty as if it was about to be put into its final resting place.

Squints’ Valley Girl OG

Courtesy Squints

From the candiest candy, to the OG-iest of OG. If you’re looking to taste a classic, look no further – the Valley Girl is ready to scratch that itch you’ve been feeling. Now I don’t have to tell y’all how much our OG’s love OG. They’ve told you enough. And while I typically lean more towards the fruity varietals, there’s a complexity to this gas that comes across in the flavor in a major way, and I haven’t been able to stop smoking it. While this one’s definitely heavy, and will surely add some drag to your step, this is an excellent way to wind down after a stressful day, as your cares will literally melt away as you sink further and further into your couch.

CGO’s Mini Hash Holes

Courtesy CGO

I told you you’d be hearing more about this guy soon. And being real, you’ve probably already tried his work even if you don’t realize, homies’ been killing it and rolling for the best of ’em for awhile now. I feel like every hash hole I’ve smoked lately that’s not rolled by Fidel has come from CGO. Not even just stuff I get at events, but in other brands’ tubes I’m not expecting as well (look out for the filter sticker). But today, today I’m here to talk about some innovation gang’s brought to the scene: mini hash holes! I’ll be honest, I didn’t think you could create the same experience in such a small package, but these are essentially the dogwalkers for hash heads. None of that typical dipped in disti & rolled in kief nonsense either, this is a true donut just in a micro-sized package – which lets be honest, is really more appropriate for most of the situations we’ve been smoking full eighths in. Also for the masses —we forget not everyone can hang like an OG—but now everyone can feel like one.

Terp Hogz’ Blooberry

Courtesy @Scooch_lifestyle

The gang that brought us the Original Z has had a portfolio of impressive flavors forever, and while their Blooberry isn’t exactly a new flavor in the arsenal, this new batch they got is finally dialed into absolute perfection. And when I say dialed in – this fkn plant smells and tastes just like ‘em, and hits you like a goddamn runaway train. Seriously, although this is an almost classic flavor in this community, I assure you, you haven’t tasted blueberry weed like this before, and when you do you’ll quickly be hooked. And stoned as hell – I thought this one would be good to hang in the afternoon and it completely derailed my day. In a good way though, like where I cuddled up with a puppy and watched a movie under a blanket.

Archive Seeds

Photo cred @erik.nugshots

As far as portfolios go, it’s hard to beat the bank Archive’s been amassing. While the seed game has been good business for decades, there are few dealers I’ve seen who can actually finish the process and deliver a product that can stand with the best of them—they mostly stick to their area of the market. Not that there’s anything wrong with that (!!) but this is absolutely not the case for Archive, as while they are indeed selling genetics, their packs also smoke up alongside any of the market leading cultivators. While their Moonbow has been in heavy circulation for awhile now, it’s got a timeless flavor, and is a regular favorite—especially whenever I’m at Astor Club in NYC. And while I’m primarily a flower guy, it’s definitely worth noting that the hash that comes from their flower ends up being some of the most memorable flavors I taste.

Banger Management

Courtesy Banger Management

I’m going to start this off by saying Preebz is the man, and I’m a general fan of pretty much any project he touches, but his latest iteration of Banger Management is truly something special. Holding it down for SoCal a bit further South than I typically travel, San Diego isn’t usually one of the first names people think of when it comes to bomb weed. Sure they’ve got it, but it’s not perceived as a mecca the way many cities and counties in the northern part of the state are. It’s got the scenic views, the beautiful weather —there’s just other things to focus on down there. That said, the homies are pumping out some mixed light work that can stand next to 90% of the indoor I see, and at a much more affordable price. While I certainly wouldn’t call these guys a ‘local brand’, what I can assure you is it’s run BY locals – so if you’re not trying to drive to LA to run up some overpriced hype pack, check in with your boys.

Exotic Matter’s Red Bullz #17

Courtesy Exotic Matter

Let me start off by saying that I know there’s pleeeenty of heat coming out of Michigan lately, but I’ve gotta take my hat off to the gang at Exotic Matter real quick. Jimi’s been singing the praises of Red Bullz for years now, and while I greatly value his opinion, this is the first expression of the varietal that I’m reallllly fucking with, and I’m not surprised that it came out of a market that’s frankly taking a lot more chances lately than most others. If you don’t already know, Michigan’s still in that super excited phase of the industry. Reminiscent of California’s 215 days, there’s a lot of experimentation going on and everyone’s still so stoked about the access that they’re making weed-everything. Now with that said, these guys are a perfect example of not having to reinvent the wheel to stand out… it just takes really good weed! With a super unique scent that’s hard to describe, but one that’s weirdly familiar at the same time. The nose to flavor transfer is perfect, and this is one of those rare instances where you can actually get more depth out of the taste than the smell. It’s a damn near perfect smoking experience. The high was a balanced mix of goofy and calm, so while I wouldn’t say it necessarily has the Red Bull effect, this is a great one for during the day.

Rythm – Queen Cola

Courtesy Rythm

Oh shit, is Jon about to give props to an MSO? I know, it’s rare, and I’ve said in the past that Illinois is a tough market right now. With limited licenses and a small number of operators typically more focused on scale than quality, it’s not exactly a flower-lover’s paradise at the moment. That said, Rythm introduced what I consider to be a great new product last month, and I haven’t seen this in other markets yet, so their praise is due. Sold in 14 gram packages, you can now buy a ‘Queen Cola’ – aka the premiere stalk of the plant. And it’s not broken off either – this extended mylar contains the entire stalk, and it’s been manicured to perfection. While I’m admittedly spoiled in the fact that I get to visit grows all the time, this is a very different approach to bringing the finished product to consumers, and will allow newbies to get a better feel for this plant we love so much. I’m excited to see how it performs in the market.

Puffco’s Arizona Cupsy

Courtesy Puffco

With maybe the best industry collab to date, for 4/20 this year Puffco released a new Cupsy in collaboration with none other than the iced tea tallboy kingpin, Arizona. Now, I grew up on 99¢ cans, so the fact that these guys are dipping their toes into the culture is especially rewarding for me, because they’ve silently participated in it for so long even if they didn’t realize. That said, to see them do it with a true New York brand like Puffco feels like the perfect marriage, and makes their entrance that much more impactful. I’ll admit, I wasn’t a big Cupsy user initially, but this freaking thing is so beautiful that it attracts you like a magnet.

Postmates Takeoutfit

Courtesy Postmates

This was the most surprising 4/20 stunt I saw this year, and it’s honestly tickled me since I found out about it. A perfect way to lean in without changing the language they’re speaking, for our favorite holiday this year Postmates released the ‘Takeoutfit’ – an outfit designed to serve as a table for your delivery order. Complete with warmer pads on the thighs, a fold out pouch to hide your smokeables & condiments (it came with a special Truff sauce in there already) and removable washable sleeve ‘napkins’, they claim with this fit you will ‘never dine at your dining table like never before’ and as convoluted as that tagline is, it’s entirely accurate. And as if there weren’t enough bells and whistles already, the fit was delivered in an oversized takeout box, and honestly was far more comfortable than expected. 

Skullcandy Haze Headphones

Courtesy Skullcandy

Every year for 4/20 Skullcandy releases a fun limited run headphone for the culture, and this year has got to be my favorite yet. Dubbed ‘Haze’, these almost fuzzy green headphones, with an attractive orange and purple trim, pay homage to one of the cornerstones of our culture, which is a particularly special category to daytime smokers like myself. It’s worth noting that while these are plastic, the sound quality was surprisingly impressive, and the companion app allows a slew of new functionality to help you stay hands-free on the go. Not going to lie, it’s pretty great being able to change the song without having to stop rolling your joint.

Dr. Pepper Strawberry Cream

This is obviously not a culture play, but have y’all tried this new jawn yet??? We’ve largely covered my soda addiction in the past, and while this one is INSANELY sweet, it’s also insanely delicious. The strawberry and cream terps are elite, and if you don’t mind driving down sugar road please put this thing in your mouth and tell me I’m wrong. Also – because last time I posted about one of these a homie got the sugar free version and then called me talking shit—you have GOT to get the full flavor. I am never attesting to anything diet. Love yourself, go full sugar.

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