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Radical Rant: The Dumbest Stoner Moves of 2016, Part 1

Russ Belville

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This week every year is the time when all the “look back at 2016” articles come out.

Obviously, this was a banner year for marijuana reform with eight out of nine states passing either legalization or medical marijuana initiatives.

Cannabis commerce continued full steam ahead with Colorado surpassing a billion dollars in sales in the first 10 months.

Research continued on the effects of marijuana use, with the discovery of new medical treatments and the realization that reform isn’t leading to stoned mayhem on the freeways or a tsunami of toking teens.

Those are the basis for the articles you’ll read from various marijuana sources this week.

From me, however, you get a look back at the dumbest stoner moves of 2016. These are the folks in both marijuana-friendly and marijuana-prohibition states who took a leave from common sense and committed acts so thoughtless, ignorant or stupid that they validated the stereotypes we’re trying so hard to overcome.

In no particular order:

Rapper Baby Bash Admits To Texas Felonies
A recent pot party in Texas held by rappers Paul Wall and Baby Bash led to authorities being called. Wall and Bash were arrested and released over the incident involving some 150 partygoers. Bash then went in front of the cameras for KHOU-TV and TMZ, separately, and explained how the party was no big deal and didn’t involve drugs, as the police said, but merely flower and dabs.

While getting busted with a little weed in Texas is bad enough, Texas is one of the states that treats concentrates far more harshly. Now, those partygoers facing felony charges at trial for their cannabis extract will have to explain away a video of Baby Bash telling everyone that people were committing felonies at the party. Bash, next time, STFU!

Omaha Man Curses Cat Over Pot Brownies
The Omaha World-Herald reported that a man had let his adult children use his car. When he later used the car to get groceries, he found brownies in the back of the car. As he unloaded the groceries, he ate four of the brownies, unaware they were laced with marijuana.

Paramedics called to the scene noted that the man was agitated, but his vital signs were otherwise normal. However, he was crawling around on the floor, sputtering profanities and calling the family cat “a bitch,” according to reports. He told the paramedics he felt like “he’s trippin’” but declined to go to the hospital, retiring to his bed instead.

Credit Card Counterfeiters Smoke Weed in Parking Lot During RNC
As the Republican National Convention was taking place in July, four people traveling together to Cleveland decided to stop their rented SUV in a parking lot to smoke a doobie in the middle of the afternoon. Police who were making their rounds for the security of the conventioneers spotted them in the parking lot and asked them to step out of the car. As she exited the car, one of the adults dropped a bunch of counterfeit credit cards she’d been holding. A subsequent search uncovered laptops and label makers and other equipment that the four were using as part of an elaborate credit card fraud.

Ohio Man Asks Cops To Help Find His Lost Weed
This may be more accurately categorized as a stupid drunk story.

Stoned Couple Busted Letting 13-Year-Old Drive Them
In Iowa, a middle-aged couple was arrested during a traffic stop when an officer noticed their vehicle behaving erratically. That’s because the officer discovered that the couple was sitting in the backseat of the car, being driven by a 13-year-old child. The car reeked of marijuana, and the man showed police an eighth of marijuana and a pipe he’d stashed behind the seat, admitting that the child shouldn’t be driving the car.

Make sure to check back Friday for Part 2!

Previously in Radical Rant: My 2016 Festivus Airing of Grievances

Click here for all of Russ Belville’s columns.

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