Radical Rant: The Dumbest Stoner Moves of 2016, Part 2

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Continuing my look back at the 10 most idiotic, thoughtless and ignorant acts committed by cannabis consumers in 2016—catch up with the first part from Tuesday HERE.

Marijuana Smugglers Call 911 On Themselves
These two guys decide they are going to load up 20 pounds of marijuana from Las Vegas, Nevada, to Bozeman, Montana. They were puffing along in the car on their road trip, which took them through Eastern Idaho, a notoriously strict prohibition state.

When they cross into Idaho, they begin feeling paranoid. Convinced that they were being followed by undercover, unmarked police cars, they pulled into the small college town of Rexburg and called 911 on themselves. Really.

Woman Smokes Pot in Cops’ Parking Spot
One day in Chicago, a 21-year-old woman decided to help out her friend who had been busted for a DUI. She drove to the police station to pick up her friend and then take her to get her car out of impound. But while waiting for her friend, she parked her car in a spot marked “police unit parking only.” She rolled down her window and started smoking some pot.

Soon enough, a cop investigating why a civilian car was parked in police parking discovered the woman and the strong odor of marijuana. The police asked if there was marijuana in the vehicle and the woman helpfully answered that there was, as well as two items of paraphernalia. Cops called it “probably the easiest cannabis arrest” they’ve ever made.

Man on Probation Throws Marijuana Football Into Prison
When people try to smuggle contraband into a prison by hiding it inside a non-contraband object, the object is called a “football.” But for this story, the “football” was an actual football.

In Michigan, a 22-year-old man on probation for a 2012 home invasion, who also had a prior charge for cocaine delivery that year, was busted when he tried to throw a football filled with marijuana, heroin and three cell phones over two fences at the G. Robert Cotton Correctional Facility.

The man won’t be getting any tryouts with the Detroit Lions anytime soon, as the throw was well short of clearing the second fence, landing in-between the fences where no inmates have access. The man was sentenced to 17-to-60 months for his terrible quarterbacking skills.

Vacant House Hookup Leads to Pipe in Plain View
A young female real estate agent in Texas decided one dark early morning to do the wild thing with her boyfriend in a vacant home she had just sold. Neighbors in the Houston suburb thought it odd that a couple with flashlights were entering an empty home at five in the morning, and they called the police.

When police arrived, the real estate agent lied and told them she and the boyfriend were a married couple who had just purchased the home. Cops then took them back to their car to retrieve their identification. That’s when they saw a glass pot pipe sitting on the dashboard and smelled the overpowering smell of herb. A subsequent search found more paraphernalia and a baggie of weed, which the real estate agent admitted was hers.

Man Tries Blaming Wendy’s Drive-Thru For His Weed
In April, a young man was pulled over by police in Milton, West Virginia, after leaving a Wendy’s hamburger fast-food drive-thru. An officer claimed he could smell marijuana and brought in a drug-sniffing dog for a subsequent search. The dog discovered a small bag of weed stashed inside a hot-and-juicy Baconator cheeseburger.

According to the police Facebook post that went viral, the man said, “It was in the cheeseburger when I got it. They must have put it on there at the store.” The police, tongue planted firmly in cheek, explained to the public that, “When we checked Wendys.com, we did in fact find out that marijuana is not an ingredient on the Baconator.”

What? Wendy’s doesn’t make a medicated Baconator? Well, they’d be a lot cooler if they did!

Previously in Radical Rant: The Dumbest Stoner Moves of 2016, Part 1

Click here for all of Russ Belville’s columns.

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