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Stoner Girl’s Bucket List: How to Make a Fruit Pipe

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Stoner girls nationwide are coming out of the woodwork to celebrate their love of marijuana on Instagram and MassRoots (thank you, legal weed). What about the girl behind the clouds of smoke and flattering camera angles? What does the stoner girl want to do before she smokes her last joint? What’s on her 420 bucket list?

Well, I’ll tell you. First up: Smoke out of a homemade fruit or vegetable pipe.

High Times recently posted a video that detailed how to make a pipe out of a number of different fruits and vegetables. This is something I’ve always wanted to do, but never taken the time to actually try. It seemed like a simple way to start my bucket-list adventure and so I enlisted my friend Heidi, and picked a day for our offbeat crafting. Then I got stoned, it snowed and we rescheduled.

I’ve always considered the apple to be the typical choice for MacGyver-ized pipes, and I wanted to do something else. I browsed the produce section, bought two Asian pears and a carrot, and braved the single degree temps and snowdrifts to get to my gal pal’s house. It was warmer there, and she had weed.

The scenario behind the foodstuffs pipe is that some poor soul has weed, but nothing to smoke out of: No bong, no pipe, not even a paper lying around. A pothead in peril if ever there was one. But wait—there’s definitely an apple (or pear, or potato, or cucumber or carrot, or donut?) in the kitchen and a paring knife in the drawer.

With this in mind, we got to work.

We both had an easy time with the mouthpiece through the side. The pears were juicy, so we had paper towels handy, but other than that, it seemed like half the work was done… until we got to the bowls. We both got overexcited and carved enormous holes in the top of our pears—like bowls you could shove an entire 1/8th into.

The carrot had been intended for a second marijuana pipe, but we adapted and cut it in two.  We each used a half, hollowed out with a kebab skewer, to create a stem for a realistic-looking mouthpiece. Now, our original mouthpiece was the bowl—and we each shoved a Starburst with a hole poked through the center down into the new bowl to act as a screen.

Heidi decided her piece looked like an animal, and added raisin eyes. I made mine a triclops.

With much anticipation we ceremoniously lit our homemade fruit and veg pipes, and both exhaled a fairly large hit of smoke. They hit like champs, and we were pleasantly surprised by how easy it had all been.

The best part of all is that it was a first small step on a long journey to mark off the essential things every stoner has to do before they kick the bucket. No matter what, before I die, I have to smoke weed in a coffeeshop in Amsterdam. I’ve been smoking for almost 15 years and I have never once hotboxed a car. I really want to blow my own glass pipe and I’ve got to smoke weed in all the states where it’s legal. Do you have any 420 bucket list items you’re dying to check off, or ones you’ve already proudly accomplished? Share with me, and I’ll share with you.

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