Stoner Sex: High Laughter, Touchy Boundaries and Stash Rationing

Stoner Sex: Sexual Orientation, Pill Popping & How to Be a Porn Star

Dear Hyapatia,
My girlfriend and I are great together. We’ve been living together for almost two years and I love her very much. Our sex life is great, no problems there, but I do have one issue. When we go over to other people’s houses or have a bunch of friends over here and we get high, she gets really friendly. She starts touching people when she talks, especially guys. It’s just a hand on the arm or something, but it’s starting to bother me. It’s like when she gets high around other guys, she starts coming on to them and that’s getting to me. Why would she want other guys when things are going so well? Or at least I thought they were. – Craig

Dear Craig,
Your girlfriend is having fun. Many people – both men and women – punctuate their conversations with touches. Talking to other guys and occasionally touching them on the arm or whatever is not flirting and I wouldn’t concern myself with it. If she were taking these guys into a private room, or touching them in more sexual ways, then I would think there was an ulterior motive. Some of us become more outgoing when we get high. We’re less inhibited and more social. If she doesn’t have a lot of socialization with other people on a regular basis, she may be making up for lost time. There are times when we all enjoy being the center of attention. Having an animated talk with others can be part of fulfilling that need. Let her enjoy herself and relax. You have a good relationship; trust in it.

Dear Hyapatia,
My man is really cool and laid back. He works hard at a construction job, then comes home,  gets high and watches TV for the rest of the night. I make him dinner and clean up around the house. I work all day, too, so I don’t see why he can’t help out around the house. On the weekends, we just take it easy and watch TV. I love him and all, but we’ve fallen into a routine and I would like a little more from him than that. How can I get that across without being a bitch? – Melinda

Dear Melinda,
If he works construction, it’s no wonder he’s tired when he gets home. Is your job equally as physically demanding?  I do see your point though. Perhaps you could plan some relaxing time at a lake fishing or relaxing in the sun? Getting out of the house and spending time together can help you to focus on each other and not the chores. On the weekends you may try the old “honey do” jar: things you need your man to do or help you with are placed on folded up pieces of paper in the jar. When there’s down time, he pulls a chore from the jar and there you go. Try to reward him with his favorite beverage and some primo weed when he’s done. We tend to want to help more when we’re rewarded.

Dear Hyapatia,
My girlfriend and I are in a fairly new relationship, although I’ve known her for years. When we’re alone and get high, she always laughs at everything. I can’t get her to be serious about anything when she’s high. I really like her and all, but I also love getting stoned. Will she always be like this or will she eventually calm down a bit? – Dre

Dear Dre,
Some people just get the giggles when they get high. It might help to try an indica- rather than a sativa-based strain. Getting high can help us to see the funny side of things we never knew had a funny side. Laughing releases some of the same hormones that sex does and can be very healthy. It never hurts to join her in seeing humor in life’s situations. She could simply be nervous in the new relationship. Give her some time. As she becomes more comfortable with you and the relationship, you’ll both get to know each others’ sense of humor.

Dear Hyapatia,
We smoke too much. I only say that because we simply can’t afford it and growing it isn’t an option for us. I want to cut back, but I can’t think of other things we can do to relax – besides sex, of course. If we can do other things to help us unwind after a hard day, we’ll be able to stretch our stash out longer. Any ideas? – Chris

Dear Chris,
I’ve always found candles and other mood lighting to be very helpful. The scent of burning candles, as well as incense, can be very soothing aromatherapy. Soft music in the background, like jazz, if that’s your thing, can also help. Researchers in Japan have found that plants release compounds that protect them from pests. These same compounds cause measurable biological changes in humans that help us relax and lower our blood pressure. Exploring your local park or just walking around your own yard or neighborhood has been proven to decrease depression and anxiety. But get out more! Enjoy yourself outside. Try to reach a new fitness level. People who work out seem to require less pot to get high; your endorphins are being released at a higher rate, which can definitely enhance your high.

Last week’s Stoner Sex: Shrooming Ecstasy, Infidelity, Uncomfortable Positions & Sex in the Heat

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