The King And I

Bobby comes face to face with one of his idols—The ‘King of All Media,’ Howard Stern.

When it was first announced that Howard Stern was coming to Sirius back in the fall of 2005, I was psyched. I’d been hosting my show Contact High for almost two years, and the prospect of Howard and I being colleagues, of possibly running into him in the hall—or of him even knowing who I was, for that matter—was very exciting. But since he’d come on board, any attempts I made to connect with him—through my friends at Penthouse, people who worked with him, etc.—had all come to naught. But this April, thanks to my friend, adult-film star Jennifer Steele, all that changed.

I first met Jen last year, when she appeared on Howard with a rather unusual new smoking device. After hearing the segment, I’d contacted and met up with her, wrote a somewhat controversial column about it, and we’d been good friends ever since. Well, this March, Jen called to tell me that she’d been booked again for a pre-4/20 show, and had convinced the producers to invite Miss High Times and me to come along.

On April 18, Jen, Sarah (a.k.a. Miss HT) and I met at the Sirius offices at 8 a.m. and were led behind the forbidden door into Howard’s private wing. After a half hour or so of waiting, Jen and Sarah were called into the studio, leaving me behind to listen to the interview from the green room. I hadn’t actually been invited as a guest, you see—only as Sarah’s chaperone. But there was a slim chance that if I was talked about enough I’d be called in, so I sat anxiously waiting to see what would happen.

Howard took an immediate liking to Sarah, gushing over her beauty and asking her about the pageant, her sexual and drug history, and her smoking and bathing habits—at one point even telling her, “You’re my kinda gal.” In fact, he spoke with her for over 10 minutes before even saying a word to Jen. But eventually he got around to her, and it was at this point that the show’s producer, Will, poked his head into the green room and said, “OK, Bobby—we’re ready for you.” Score.

I was led into the studio alongside two of Howard’s recurring stoner characters—Bonghit Eric and Bonghit Bill—to help Jen demonstrate her latest smoking contraption. Howard introduced them briefly, then asked, “Who’s this gentleman with you? I don’t even know this guy.”

“I’m Bobby Black, from High Times,” I explained.

“Oh … Bobby from High Times,” Howard echoed. “Well, Bobby, you picked a great Miss High Times.” Then he proceeded to ask me all about the pageant and the swimsuit issue.

It wasn’t long before Artie Lange, Howard’s sardonic sidekick, chimed in: “You know, guys into weed are usually laid-back, and may I say about Bobby—that’s the tightest shirt I’ve ever seen on a pothead.”

But Howard was undistracted, delving further into my background. “Bobby, how long have you worked for High Times magazine?” he asked.

“About 12 years.”

“That’s a long time. And you love pot so much that’s it’s your life, right?”

“Yeah, I love weed, I love rock … sex, drugs and rock’n’roll.”

“Good for you, bro!” said Artie, saluting me with his coffee cup. “Rock on!”

Bonghit Eric, Bonghit Bill and I then proceeded to take hits of tobacco from Jen’s vagina-hookah. I swear—it’s not as nasty as it sounds.

After that, Howard continued to ask me about the magazine: about our circulation, whether we’ve had any legal troubles, and about the staff and our lifestyle.

“Can you make a living over at High Times?”

“Yeah, I do all right,” I assured him. “I also work here at Sirius—I have a show on Hard Attack, so I supplement my income.”

“Oh, so you’re doing OK,” he nodded approvingly. “You’re not going to die a rich man over at High Times, but …. ”

“Nah … ” I replied. “But I’ll die a happy man.”