Welcome to Baked Science, a new series of cannabis-infused edible reviews featuring test results from SC Labs.
Twinkies disappeared for a brief period from November 2012 until July 2013, inconveniencing junk food junkies everywhere and leading to a bubble in snack cake speculation on eBay. Lest our most favorite nostalgic sweet ever be permanently discontinued, some ingenious stoners figured out how to create their own cannabis crème-filled sponge cakes.
In the DIY spirit of the counterculture, Happy Seed Edibles began marketing medicated snack cakes called “Dankies” in 2013, featuring several flavors including vanilla, chocolate, red velvet, jelly bottom and marble.
While the drab packaging could use a re-design, the information included on the label is relevant with nice dosage advice reading, “Consume 1/4 of medicine, wait at least 3 hours before consuming another dose,” along with all the legally required warnings and disclaimers. The ingredients for the Red Velvet Dankie include “Hashish – Indica, 200 mg THC / 4 grams of dried cannabis.”
Along with this information, a self-styled “Potentcy (sic) Rating System” establishes a “4 Leaf Potentcy (sic) Rating” as containing 175+ mg THC. The next level, a “5 Leaf” rating, contains 225+ mg THC. (The word ‘potency’ is misspelled on the label.)
Conceivably, your Dankie could contain anywhere from 175 to 225 milligrams of THC, and such a broad range makes it difficult for patients to accurately dose themselves. If you choose to believe the 200 mg THC content as listed in the ingredients, then this means the recommended ¼ serving would contain about 50 mg of THC. That’s a huge dose for a new cannabis user, so I would recommend this product only for those with high tolerances and previous experience consuming cannabis-infused foods.
At 6 p.m. one recent evening, I consumed half of the Dankie, and it very closely has the taste and mouthfeel of a real Twinkie. The sponge cake was nice and spongy—very moist and a little oily—and the crème was rich and fluffy. There was a slight cannabis aftertaste, and the whole experience felt a bit artificial, but that’s also reminiscent of a Twinkie.
After only an hour, I was feeling pretty high, with a clear psychedelic tinge to my vision and a definite bout of giddiness. But after another hour, around 8 p.m., I crashed hard, getting really sleepy and passing out early by 9 p.m. My entire night was full of fantastical dreams, and I mostly existed in a weird netherworld somewhere between wakeful consciousness and a true dream state. I woke up at 8 a.m. the next morning feeling great, but I wished that the initial high had lasted longer.
Testing conducted by SC Labs revealed that the combined THC and THCa content of a Red Velvet Dankie was 80.55 mg, with 64.93 mg of THC present along with 15.61 mg of THCa. There was a relatively high amount (6.2 mg) of CBN, a sedative cannabinoid that results from the breakdown of THC, which might explain the incredible sleepiness I had experienced.
The Dankie retailed at Herbal Cruz for $12, so that’s about 18 cents per milligram of THC delivered. While the label claims for this product were much higher, the real dose of about 65 milligrams of THC would make it easier for a patient to consume the entire Dankie in one serving.
