Psychedelicatessen: Deviled Lentils


Are you woke and broke? Got the munchies but your pantry is bare? Looking for a way to be a healthier, more conscious and engaged warrior for the Earth without spending a ton of money at Whole Foods? Do you want to incorporate cannabis into your cooking but have no idea how to begin? If your answers to those questions are in the affirmative, you’ll be sure to enjoy a positive lifestyle change that blends weed, food and health together in an affordable, easy way.

Straight outta Portlandia, the vegan stoners behind  adorably illustrate recipes designed to quickly satisfy the munchies with healthy, delicious dishes. Created by Sarah Conrique and Graham I. Haynes, designers who believe that vegan cuisine shouldn’t be too complicated or rely on expensive, exotic ingredients, The Vegan Stoner Cookbook is perfect for those just beginning to cook.

With few ingredients and minimal time and effort required, each vegan stoner recipe makes it easy for slackers to embrace an eco-friendly lifestyle, reducing their carbon footprint and getting fit in the process. Inventive recipes utilize the microwave, along with plenty of frozen or canned ingredients, making this diet economical as well, a boon to all those busy vegan stoners in college or just starting out in the world.

Sarah Conrique adorably illustrates recipes for
Sarah Conrique adorably illustrates recipes for

“I became vegan when I was a teenager,” Sarah explains, “and I didn’t have a lot of cooking skills under my belt so I ate unhealthfully for a while,” falling into the common initial phase of relying on processed imitation “wheat meat” products and starchy snacks. Many people beginning a vegan diet find comfort in the familiar, so these types of products can be helpful at first, but ultimately Morningstar imitation corn dogs aren’t that healthy or affordable. The Vegan Stoner Cookbook includes recipes for “guilty pleasure food—things that stoned people who are transitioning into veganism would miss, like Chili Cheese Fries,” Conrique says, “but the next cookbook will move away from canned and frozen items and more towards fresh ingredients, as our diet is evolving.”

Understanding that cooking is an improvisational process—especially when you’re stoned—leads to fun discoveries when you’re just jamming on a new recipe. The Vegan Stoner Cookbook lends itself to making medicated food that will not only get you high, but you can be high as fuck while you’re cooking and not worry about messing up the dish. “I wanted to teach people to cook by instinct instead of exact measurements,” Sarah remarks, explaining why her recipes call for a “handful of this” or “a spoonful of that.” It’s an effortless style of stoner cuisine that can be learned by anyone, even if you need a recipe to boil water.

Designed with their broke vegan friends in mind, recipes usually call for less than eight ingredients, combined together in sometimes bizarre but tasty ways. “The banana dog was a complete stoner idea,” Sarah laughs, “I was high, thinking about making a hot dog without using a veggie dog, and a banana was surprisingly tasty with vegannaise on it.”

Accompanied by whimsical watercolor illustrations of ingredients and vegetable characters, Graham and Sarah intend to make home cooking un-intimidating, providing a positive example of veganism that doesn’t rely on shaming people for their choices or sending them on a guilt trip like so many evangelical vegans are prone to do. “Diet is a very personal thing and I would never want to tell someone what to eat,” Graham shares, “everybody has to navigate that based on what their body tells them is right.”

You don’t have to be a devout vegan to enjoy plant-based cooking. If you’re seeking a healthy habit, join in on “meatless Monday” and go vegan for a few meals per week to add some balance to your life. After all, cannabis makes all food taste amazing, vegetables included!

These Deviled Lentils mimic deviled eggs, making a fun contribution to a potluck or party. Using a few affordable pantry ingredients, you can bring creativity to the table by challenging yourself to invent new dishes each time you get high!

Deviled Lentils are great for potlucks or parties.
Deviled Lentils are great for potlucks or parties.

¼ cup dry lentils
1 Russet potato
1 tbsp “veganaise” soy-based mayo substitute
2 tbsp stone ground mustard
1 tsp Creole seasoning
2 tbsp cannabis-infused olive oil
½ cup frozen vegetables

Cook ¼ cup of dry lentils in about ¾ cup of water (according to package directions.)

Slice a potato into 4 pieces, cover with a wet paper towel, and microwave till soft (about 6 min). Scoop out a hole in middle of each potato piece.

Mash cooked lentils with the scooped out potato, a spoonful of veganaise, a spoonful of mustard, a few sprinklings of Creole seasoning, and 2 spoonfuls of herb oil.

Microwave a handful of frozen veggies according to package and stir into lentil mixture.

Scoop mixture into potato holes. Munch.


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