We’ve all heard the stories: people seeing the face of rock star and world-renowned religious icon Jesus Christ everywhere they look. And yes, we’ve all seen the dubious pictures of Jesus’ face in various food items, from toast to potato chips; seems like the dude can’t help himself from popping up in seemingly normal objects as if to say, “Yeah, that’s right, my dad made all of this.”
If you believe in that sort of thing, then you might also believe divine powers also had a hand in making weed. This is something Michigan resident Ed Fornino certainly believes after a recent experience with a strain aptly named God’s Gift. Ed reached out to us after oil he pressed using this strain came out in the shape of none other than Jesus Christ himself. After briefly reading about Ed’s story, I had to reach out to him to get the full scoop. Here’s a transcription of my interview with this absolute titan of bud:
Connor Douglas: Hey Ed, thanks for doing this. Why don’t you start by telling me a bit about yourself, and how you came to discover God’s Gift?
Ed Fornino: I was born and raised in Tampa Florida, smokin’ Mexican rag weed for many years with the exception of getting some real Gainesville Green around Christmas time. I would hang at my older friend’s house and they would have High Times magazines laying around, and while they were playing Atari and Nintendo, I was looking at all the buds pictured in the magazines—-all the pretty pictures of naked buds and dreaming of growing my own. After many years, I decided to move deep into Michigan’s Manistee National Forest, where it’s legal to grow, and start my adventure. I tried so many strains since getting there that I decided it was time to grow my own; 12 plants for medical use and 12 for recreational use. I came across God’s Gift from a local seed bank. I vegged for over two months and flowered almost nine weeks. The buds have a nice, unique smell that I have yet to find in any other strain. So I got growing and went and bought a 20-ton hydraulic press and 3×5 aluminum plates to make my own clean dabs.
Connor: Tell me about how you happened upon the Jesus oil?
Ed: I was up late at night dealing with my father recently passing away—he taught me pride and quality. So I was getting the plates warmed up for making dabs and growing my own helps picks me up—not just the high, but growing it, harvesting, and all the other fun stuff to care for it. Hand-trimming is fun; painful but rewarding, and I love making oil. I started making dabs—I was labeling the parchment papers as I was getting ready to start pressing, and I looked at the God’s Gift parchment paper that I just pressed and tripped out! Looking at the oil, it looked like a face! My first impression was that it looked like our heavenly father, so I took a picture and showed my wife, who does not smoke, and she said, “Oh my God, that looks like GOD!” and she freaked.
Now I know it’s not on a burnt piece of toast with Jesus’s face and selling for millions, but it’s how the press came out and yes I did dab the God’s Gift oil and it was great! It relieved my depression and anxiety. God’s Gift has a smell and taste that is so sweet and fruity, with an aroma like fuel and dank ass skunk. It smokes so smooth, but I try and cure for many weeks. Took over nine weeks to flower, and I control dried it for ten days, then cured it for three weeks—and of course I’m testing it as it cures (laughs). The dabs are great and it’s got a smooth high. Just puts you back into easy mode like Uncle Cracker singing “Drift Away.”
Connor: Wow, yeah. What a Grade A classic tune right there. You’re really painting a picture for us here, Ed. Now, would you go as far to say that God got you high on that sweet midnight oil?
Ed: Can I say God got me high? Well, religion is not to be fooled around with but I do believe God put it here—not only to get high but for medical use also. Why, you ask? Well I had a dog named Kansas, a Brendal Staffordshire Terrier mix, who I got from the pound at 10 weeks old, and when she turned ten years old, she got sick. So I took her to the vet and the vet said she has full-blown cancer and to bring her back in a day to put her down. I was just devastated as I have no children, and she was my girl. So I came home and fired up the grill to cook her last T-bone steak and she was sitting next to me on the porch staring and started to whine. I thought she was staring at the steak and wanted it right then. I was fixin’ to put the steak on the grill, waiting for the coals to get right, and I started to twist up a hog leg doobie to help ease my emotions—tears were pouring down my face—and Kansas got up and literally put her paws on the table, which she never has done as she was very polite, and nudged my hand hard with her nose as I was breaking up the bud. And I looked at her and asked if she wanted some weed, and she barked really loud, like she was answering me; she never messed with weed, so I gave her a tiny piece of bud and she ate it and wanted more. She instantly started playing again—running and getting her tennis ball and chasing squirrels.
I about freaked as she was so sick. When I called the vet to cancel her death day the vet said, “You don’t want her to suffer, bring her back in two days.” Like I’d let my girl suffer. When she got sick it was fast, just like how my father passed—he got sick, Stage 4, bam, gone. So I started to give her the best, most expensive bud I could find and took her to the vet a couple weeks later. Lo and behold the vet couldn’t believe how she turned around for the better. Of course, I did not tell him I was giving her ganja. We did more blood tests and x-rays, and her breathing all checked out, and the vet just shook his head and said, “I don’t know how this is possible, but she is healthy enough to pay big money for a teeth cleaning,” and that was the last time we went to the vet.
I do believe somehow my girl Kansas knew it was a Godsend so yes I believe! I can say I had her six-and-a-half more happy years; she will be missed. So yes, I thank God. God’s Gift is an excellent strain and i do believe marijuana is the cure!
Connor: Like the strain God’s Gift itself, that is some powerful-ass shit, Ed. Thank you so much for sharing your story with us, and I think I speak for all of us when I say that we can all only hope to one day get high off of whatever divine being you may believe in.
This has been Connor Douglas, sending up a prayer to the man upstairs that this interview may win the Pulitzer Prize. Thanks for reading.
But, but we don’t even know what Jesus looks like lol