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Random Celebrities From the ’90s We Want to Blaze With



As non-celebrity stoners can attest, it’s pretty fun to imagine getting high with certain famous people, whether they’re ones you love or hate. Some celebs are way more ridiculous than others, and today at HIGH TIMES, we’re feeling particularly fond of the famous set from the ’90s.

There’s just something about cheesy sitcom stars and angsty musicians that makes us think they’ve got some extraordinary stories to share, and we know the best way to coax out the funniest anecdotes would be to get them high as a bird’s balls.

If you’ve managed to smoke with any random celebrities, let us know in the comments section — and don’t forget to add your faves to the list in case we missed them!

1. The entire cast of “Full House”

Round up Danny Tanner, Uncle Jesse and Uncle Joey, DJ, Stephanie, and even stank-ass Kimmy Gibbler and stinky old Comet, fire up the Volcano and start filling up balloons: shit’s about the get serious up in this bitch. Several of the actors from this show have a history of getting epically fucked up, so this would surely be a session to remember. Just make sure Saget and Coulier don’t bogart the bong — or the Pringles.

2. Jaleel White

Who wouldn’t want to get stoned with Steve Urkel — or, for that matter, Stefan Urquelle? I mean, sure, there would be the inevitable “Did I do thaaat?” when he sneezed into the bong, wetting your entire fatly packed bowl of Purple Urkel (because obviously), but dealing with that shit would be more than worth it if he brought his buddy Reginald Veljohnson along to the cyph, too.

3. Melissa Joan Hart

We prefer to remember her as Clarissa from her Nickelodeon days, but even if you’re more down with MJH as a witch, she’d be a trip to get baked with. Maybe she could even call up her fake-bro, Ferg-wad, and that black cat to join in the revelry, too.

4. Bronson Pinchot

Personally, we’d do the Dance of Joy if I could get lit up with the man who gave life to Balki Bartokomous, one of the most legendary characters in sitcom history. Still, if he brought along Cousin Larry and some of that killer shit from Mepos, it would certainly go down in High Times history.

5. Alanis Morissette

Perhaps she’d be better off popping some jagged little pills (see what I did there??), but smoking pot with the lady who literally played god in a Kevin Smith film would be absolutely awesome. You could totally break out the acoustic guitars and have an angsty “You Oughta Know” jam session. Just don’t try to school her on the true definition of “irony.”

6. Tim Allen

Even though he can be a handful, we want to get rip-roaring, ridiculously high with the Tool Time host because of one sure thing he brings to the table: lots of crazy stories. Weed might be too light for him to be satisfied with, but it’ll probably keep him from making those grunting sounds he was so famous for back then.

7. The Spice Girls

Let’s forget about who they’ve become at this point and just remember these, uh, lovely ladies for who they were when they first zig-a-zigged into our lives: five somewhat hot British babes who were looking for a dude to “be [their] lover.” With the right strain of chronic, imagine the possibilities for a session with these notorious pop stars.

8. Bill Nye

Talk about some heady conversation. Getting stoned with Bill Nye would be the coolest thing ever for those who dig mind-expanding, science-y dialogue when toking the ganj. He’d probably screw with you a bit, though, since he’s, like, a billion times smarter than the average pothead. Even if you wind up smoking more than you ever have in your life during this session, you’ll come out of it smarter — guaranteed.

9. Fiona Apple

Does Fiona Apple prefer joints or vaporizing? We’d sure love to find out! This angsty singer/songwriter would force you to engage in some deep-ass convos about the nature of humanity, especially if you took too many tokes (much like these cats did) from one of her aptly rolled coner spliffs (we’re just guessing about that).

10. Vanilla Ice and MC Hammer

It wouldn’t be right to invite just one of the two biggest hip-flop stars of the 90s, so we figured we’d call up both of these former superstars (hell, we’re pretty sure they could both use a fat blunt after their respective careers unraveled the way they did). For these guys, we’d have to roll up the fattest Dutch possible. And, of course, we’d have some insane rap battles.