Laissez les Bons Temps Rouler

Joint-rolling hacks for the rolling-impaired, just in time for Mardi Gras.
Laissez
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Do you suck at rolling joints? You need not worry, because most likely, the majority of casual smokers fall into the same category. Laissez les bons temps rouler—French for “Let the good times roll”—is today’s unofficial mantra.

Mardi Gras—French for “Fat Tuesday”—falls on February 21 this year, always taking place on a Tuesday. You may not be heading south to New Orleans or Lafayette, Louisiana, but chances are there is a holiday sale at a nearby dispensary or a cannabis-themed Mardi Gras party. There are a lot (we checked). 

You don’t have to possess the sleight of hand—the roll-and-tuck finger motions of rolling a joint or blunt—to get away with rolling a joint. Fact is, many of us do not possess that skill, even some of the ones who have smoked for years.

Before you graduate onto more advanced joints involving woven licorice papers and twaxxed out tips, here are a few hacks to get around the hardest parts of rolling a joint.

High Times put together not one but two newbie hacks for the rolling-impaired. And chances are that you’re gonna be impaired in some form today if you’re celebrating Mardi Gras. Plus, you might need some extra weed for the hangover.

Before you let your hair down and get your Mardi Gras beads, here’s some hacks if you’re too impaired to roll:

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Credit Card Swipe Hack
The only tool you need for this hack is a debit card or a credit card—expired ones are fine in this case. I first learned this trick by watching the host of the TV show Wake and Bake with Dom Brown on @HiptrTV. Dom Brown called the trick a Life-Changing Joint Rolling Hack. He learned the trick while on tour in California with DJ Jelo, and swears that this hack changed his life forever. The main point of this hack is to avoid the roll-and-tuck step that causes some newbies to mess up.

You’ll need:
Credit or debit card
Rolling papers
Tips
Bud

  1. Grind Your Bud

Using a four-piece grinder or a mill, grind up your herbs into a crumbly consistency, but not quite sawdust powder. It needs to be ground up fine enough to not stab and tear the rolling paper, but you also don’t want it to burn up like tinder.

  1. Make a Paper Canoe

Grab your papers of choice, take one out, and make a canoe shape—first ensuring that the gum side is facing upwards, or in the right place it needs to be in order to seal your joint properly.

  1. Grab a Tip

Get a crutch, filter, tip, or whatever else you call the end of your joint that goes into your mouth. You can use cardstock and make a spiral or accordion shape, or something more creative. Place it on the rolling paper canoe. You’ll have to roll it tightly around it to secure.

  1. Fill the Canoe

Fill the paper with your ground up bud. You don’t want to pack it too tightly or you won’t be able to suck the smoke through. Try to make a cylinder shape.

  1. Slide Your Credit Card

Then use the credit or debit card to tuck in the outside of the paper closest to you, sliding it down the length of the joint to tuck in the paper. As you can see in Dom Brown’s video, the paper will probably fold and that’s OK. It makes the roll-and-tuck part much easier, which is really the hardest part of rolling a joint.

  1. Lick and Seal

The final step is the same as any joint: lick the stick edge and seal. Alternatively, if you’re germ-conscious, use a paintbrush with water or a sponge.

Backwards Pencil Joint Hack
Most likely you’ve heard about using a pen or pencil to roll a joint. Basically the core of this concept is that you do it backwards: You make the paper tube before you even put weed inside. Then you fill it with ground up bud. The downside is that it takes a bit of time and patience to pack in the weed in a manner that will burn consistently.

You’ll need:
A pen or pencil
Toothpick or skewer
Rolling papers
Tips
Bud

  1. Grind Your Bud

Using a four-piece grinder or a mill, grind up your herbs into a crumbly consistency, but not quite sawdust powder. It needs to be ground up fine enough to not stab and tear the rolling paper, but you also don’t want it to burn up like tinder.

  1. Grab a Tip

Get a crutch, filter, tip, or whatever else you call the end of your joint that goes into your mouth. You can use cardstock and make a spiral or accordion shape, or something more creative. 

  1. Form a Paper Tube

Place the tip at the end of the pencil, holding together. Roll the rolling paper around the pencil or pen, wet, and seal. You want it to be semi-snug around the crutch but not too tight, or you won’t be able to pull the pencil out. Pull out the pen or pencil but leave the tip secured.

  1. Fill the Tube and Pack

First, get a tray underneath your working area, because you’ll probably spill a lot of ground-up bud. Then slowly fill the paper tube. You’re going to have to use a skewer or a toothpick to pack the tube at about every half inch or so. Repeat this process until the whole tube is filled.

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