The pharmaceutical industry would like everyone to believe that the key to health can be found in a pill. The only problem is the resulting side effects – which result in the opposite of good health. But there is an alternative. Cannabis! Let’s check out how pills stack up against pot for serious health conditions.
Pharm Choice: Antidepressants like Zoloft and Prozac increase levels of the vital neurotransmitter serotonin in the brain
Side Effects: Decreased libido, birth defects, increased suicide in those under 25. Can trigger potentially fatal “Serotonin Syndrome.”
Why Pot’s Better: Provides safe, controlled euphoria. Those switching from Zoloft to pot report improved outlook.
Pot’s Drawbacks: Improved outlook makes repeats of Friends actually seem funny.
Pharm Choice: Drugs from Anzamet to Zofran reduce activity of the nerve that induces vomiting and block receptors associated with nausea.
Side Effects: Constipation, potential arrhytmia, Parkinson’s-like symptoms. Bonus: Nightmares worthy of Freddy Kruger!
Why Pot’s Better: Cannabis quells nausea! Who need drugs!
Pot’s Drawbacks: You’ve got a new problem. The munchies have doubled the size of your ass.
Pharm Choice: Topical eye drops are commonly used to decrease the thick, watery substance that causes intraocular pressure.
Side Effects: A whole host of eye problems, from blurred vision to permanent change in eye color to brown.
Why Pot’s Better: Since the ‘70s, studies have shown that pot is highly effective in lowering intraocular pressure in glaucoma patients.
Pot’s Drawbacks: With improved eyesight, you see what your significant other actually looks like. See “DEPRESSION.”
Pharm Choice: Scary-sounding hypnotics like benzodiazepines, plus good ol’ sleepiing pills and sedatives.
Side Effects: How can I overdose? Let me count the ways. Expect psychological dependence/addiction. You can’t sleep without your little helper.
Why Pot’s Better: A powerful indica puts you to sleep with no chance of overdose and no chemical/booze hangover.
Pot’s Drawbacks: You oversleep and miss your job interview. No problem — there were 420 other applicants.
Pharm Choice: Short-acting agents like Salbutamol relive bronchospasms. Agents like Salmeterol last three times as long.
Side Effects: Salbutamol is known to cause anxiety and tremors. Salmeterol can cause a bad case of death.
Why Pot’s Better: Cannabis opens up your lungs’ airways without killing you.
Pot’s Drawbacks: Now you know how bad patchouli actually smells!
Pharm Choice: Statins (drugs that lower cholesterol) are widely prescribed. Aspirin is effective for its anti-clotting properties.
Side Effects: Headaches, nausea, weakness, infections – plus they can’t be used by pregnant women. Aspirin can cause stomach bleeding.
Why Pot’s Better: Studies on mice show that pot reverses artery clogging and can protect the heart from further damage after heart attacks.
Pot’s Drawbacks: Your heart gets so strong that you become a fitness freak and bore the shit out of everyone yakking about “the burn.”
POST-TRAUMATIC STRESS SYNDROME
Pharm Choice: A cornucopia of antidepressants are on the market. MDMA has been tested in several studies.
Side Effects: Sexual problems, sleep difficulties, nausea. Some side effects worsen. Expect withdrawal symptoms if you quit dosing.
Why Pot’s Better: Pot regulates unpleasant memories that cause PTSD nightmares and flashbacks. Sativas induce euphoria.
Pot’s Drawbacks: The only stress you now experience is running low on God’s medicine.
Pharm Choice: Only four drugs are currently available, which may slow Alzheimer’s by producing the key neurotransmitter acetylcholine.
Side Effects: The efficacy of these drugs has yet to be solidly demonstrated. They can trigger anorexia and slowed heart rate.
Why Pot’s Better: Cannabinoids reduce the inflammation associated with Alzheimer’s in human brain tissue and prevent cell death by anti-oxidation.
Pot’s Drawbacks: Patients are now aware that the economy has reduced their 401Ks to nothing.
Pharm Choice: If you don’t know, then you don’t own a TV.
Side Effects: “For erections lasting four hours, seek medical treatment” pretty much says it all.
Why Pot’s Better: While pot doesn’t necessarily increase blood flow to certain body parts, it’s power as a safe, mild aphrodisiac is well known.
Pot’s Drawbacks: Your tongue has the texture of sandpaper. (Need we say more?) Toking in bed can cause “potholes” in your 400-thread-count, cotton/sateen sheets.
CHRONIC OR SHORT-TERM PAIN
Pharm Choice: Analgesics from aspirin to opiates work in various ways on the nervous system.
Side Effects: Painful constipation, raging addiction, possible overdose.
Why Pot’s Better: Pot actually augments analgesics by preventing the tolerance that users build up with traditional painkillers.
Pot’s Drawbacks: Well, you’re almost pain-free. You’ve developed arthritis in your lighter-flicking thumb.
Marijuana Legalization? The UK Parliament Debates This Week
Seth Rogen Rips New Bong Prototype
A Vacant Elementary School Could Soon Be A Marijuana Grow Operation
Everything You Need To Know About Marijuana: What Is Cannabis?
Products1 week ago
10 Best Portable Vaporizers of 2017
Products5 days ago
10 Best Quartz Bangers Of 2017
Culture2 days ago
14 High Profile People Who Like To Get High
Culture4 days ago
The Origins of Your Favorite Weed Slang
Entertainment5 days ago
Nine Authors Who Smoked Weed
Culture3 days ago
7 Scientists Who Smoked Weed
Culture1 day ago
8 of The Craziest Weed Conspiracies That Might Be True
Culture1 week ago
The Most Creative Ways People Have Hidden Their Weed