When it comes to combating the wicked war on weed, it is typical for law enforcement agencies all across the globe to destroy seized marijuana. It is sort of a chubby middle finger buried in the sphincter of the culture of all highness, a combustible sacrifice to the proverbial gods of government, just to let them know that pigs are still running the farm.
But in Germany, where President Trump’s version of American politics was born and bred through occult magick, incestuous orgies and good old-fashioned brute force, police are apparently using the marijuana confiscated from large black market busts to heat the homes of Munich residents.
That’s right, the pigs are turning pot into power.
According to a recent report from Süddeutsche Zeitung, Germany’s customs officials spent the majority of last week trying to devise a quicker method of getting rid of more than 1,200 pounds of Albanian Kush, rather than simply tossing it on the fire pit out behind the station.
The shepherds of all things imports and exports had been storing the sizeable load for some time. The shipment, which was confiscated just south of Nuremberg last December, contained enough green mamba to roll nearly 3.8 million joints, the report showed—about $6 million worth of weed.
It was evident that the agency’s more traditional means of doobie destruction were going to be subpar in this particular case. There just wasn’t enough time in the day to have customs agents standing around a fire trying to wipe 60 moving boxes full of weed off the face of the planet.
That’s when someone in the department proposed the idea of trucking the exceptionally large stash over to the waste-incineration plant where it could be turned into power.
The report goes on to say that the seized marijuana, which was shown to have a THC content of 16 percent, was incinerated at temperatures between 900 and 1,000 degrees Celsius.
This means we are roughly 100 percent sure that there isn’t even enough left in the incinerator to get a resin hit.
Although the seized weed can no longer bring holiday cheer to the locals; over the next few days, it will provide them with light and a warm place to lay their heads while they scour the neighborhood for a new dealer.
“The incineration of the material is used to generate heating and electricity for the people in the region,” plant manager Thomas König told the news source.
On the upside, maybe Munich residents are catching a fiendish buzz every time the heat kicks on.
Germany made the decision last year to legalize marijuana for medicinal use, but it is still illegal at the recreational level. However, the average stoner doesn’t really have much to worry about in the grand scheme of legal troubles. It is considered “self harm” to smoke pot in Germany rather a crime, according to a recent report from Newsweek.
Some believe this policy is the best version of decriminalization, as it really only leaves hardcore dope slingers open to have their skulls cracked against the walls of the criminal justice system. Because of this, there is a substantial black market in Germany for recreational reefer. In fact, the latest cannabis cremation was reportedly pulled out of a big rig driven by a 61-year-old driver from Serbia. That cat is still sitting in jail because he has, so far, refused to reveal the exact origin of the herb.