Washington DC Moves to Blacklist Andy Harris

While tempers continue to flare in Washington DC over Representative Andy Harris’ snidely role in blocking legal weed in the nation’s capital, there have been rumors circulating that a cult of wild-eyed stoners are planning to march up to Capitol Hill and flog the pot-hating lawmaker with a wet rubber hose. However, while those tumultuous tales have not yet been confirmed, some reports indicate that District business have, in fact, taken it upon themselves to blackball the congressman from frequenting their establishments.

Indeed, the Maryland boner boy screwed the pooch in the District of Columbia last week when he rode into Congress on a piece of three-legged legislation aimed at castrating Initiative 71, which voters approved with overwhelming support in the November election, by disallowing all local and federal funds from being used in the District to legalize a Schedule I substance. Of course, this effort to sandbag progressive policies in DC made Harris public enemy number one in the eyes of residential forces and for the rest of the week he was forced to eat his lunch while wearing a bulletproof vest.

Yet, some District businesses, like Capitol Hill Bikes, claim there is no need to combat the congressman’s conservative arrogance with random acts of violence; instead they have simply opted to post an image of Harris on the front door with the message “NOT WELCOME” printed in bold type. In fact, some area residents are so disgusted with Harris’ attempt at snuffing out democracy in the District, there is now a “Blacklist Andy Harris” website asking the business community to refuse service to the leper lawmaker.

“My fellow Washingtonians, Rep. Andy Harris doesn’t give a d— about District residents or our rights, so let’s blacklist him! We can generate and distribute signs/stickers/posters with his face, words like “Persona non Grata” (or something similar), and ask local businesses to display them. We could also put up signs with similar messages all around the District,” reads a message on the tumblr account.

Although it was not immediately known at the time this article was published just how many businesses have posted “You Don’t Serve Us, We Don’t Serve You” signs banning Harris from their establishments, the message, however, is clear: District voters demand that Uncle Sam’s congressional cronies respect the laws the city approves. The message also carries overtones to remind our government that it was not that long ago when angry mobs tarred and feather imbeciles just like them in the name of revolution.

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