It is certainly not uncommon for the average caffeine addicted American to grab a cold soda at some point throughout the course of the day to put a little pep in their step. For some, it’s a midday ritual that keeps them from unleashing savagery on their co-workers between the hours of 2-and-5 p.m. But most of these hardcore cola consumers have likely never once considered the possibility that the beverages they have come to rely on to get over the hump of the daily grind may contain a powerful mystery stimulant that could potentially turn even the most passive office putz into a wild freaking animal.
There have been a number of reports trickling in over here at High Times for the past few months suggesting that methamphetamine is being discovered in popular soft drinks. Although this bizarre occurrence seems to be taking place predominately in Mexico, meth-laced soda could be on the verge of infiltrating this twisted little nation of ours, contributing to a new, more appropriate credo, “the Land of the Speed Fiends.”
It was just months ago when health officials in a handful of states, including Arizona and California, emerged with a desperate message to citizens traveling to Mexico, urging them to be aware that methamphetamines have been traced to the beverage aisle of local grocery stores. Ironically, the primary culprit in this bottling debacle was the non-caffeinated “thirty quencher” 7Up.
Several people, with an obvious aversion to the effects of caffeine, were hospitalized after consuming the unsuspecting teeth-grinding product, while a more enthusiastic consumer ended up dead.
Officials eventually traced the origin of the drinks back to Mexicali.
More recently, however, El Universal reports that meth-laced sodas are making a comeback just in time for the holiday season. The latest incident involves a teenage girl who got her hands on a Manzanita Sol (made by the Pepsi Corporation) at a tiny convenience store located in Mexicali. The story suggests that the 16-year-old girl started feeling ill immediately after consuming the beverage, which she said had a “strange flavor.” A series of anti-doping tests at a nearby hospital confirmed that the girl had methamphetamine in her system.
In response to the latest incident, the Health Secretariat, in conjunction with the Attorney General of the State of Baja, California, is now on the prowl to uncover more soda pop tainted with this high-octane drug.
So far, no one seems to have any idea how or why methamphetamine is becoming an ingredient in some soda brands. There is speculation that the drug cartels may be experimenting with this process in order to smuggle the substance into additional jurisdictions. These criminal organizations have become infamous for coming up with clever ways to clandestinely transport illegal substances in everything from fruit to shampoo bottles.
For now, there does not appear to be an immediate threat for folks in the United States getting meth mouth after taking a few swigs of their favorite soft drink.
A spokesperson for the Dr. Pepper Snapple Group, which manufactures 7Up in the United States, recently said that “none of the 7Up products sold in the U.S. are affected by the issue being reported in Mexico.”
If you still find yourself concerned about the possibility of drinking liquid meth when you pop the top on your choice of soda later this afternoon, health experts say there are a few tell-tale signs that will let you know that you’ve just been dosed.
If you begin to experience a “fast irregular heartbeat,” a “burning to the esophagus” or “difficulty breathing,” well then, you were likely the lottery winner in the meth-laced soda contest. At that point, you can either seek immediate medical attention or start getting a whole hell of a lot of shit done around the office. It’s your call.
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