We already managed to get a selfie-taking robot to Mars. Can we also send over some cannabis seeds?
Stephen Hawking predicts that if the human race does not find a way to colonize otherworldly civilizations within the next 100 years, it will suffer extinction. The 76-year-old physicist, who believes that President Trump is driving us to the end, told the BBC last year that “climate change, overdue asteroid strikes, epidemics and population growth,” will ultimately sabotage our way of life on Earth. And sure as shit, one or more of these colossal doomsday atrocities is going to put us in the same ranks as the dinosaurs, if we do not find a way to exist and thrive on either the moon or Mars.
When we got wind of Hawking’s grim forecast, tensions ran high here at High Times headquarters. Considering that astronauts have not yet visited the Red Planet (hell, you’d be hard-pressed to convince some of us that we ever landed on the moon), we couldn’t imagine what type of technological advancements would need to happen in the coming decades to ensure that our precious cannabis plant would be allowed to carry on for future generations.
A pact was made. If there was no way to grow weed on the next planet that we, as a so-called civil society, are driven to inhabit, then all of us here promised to go down with the ship. After all, life is not worth living if we are forced to live weed free in such a harsh climate. And then it happened…some reprieve. We just learned that scientists have found natural water sources beneath the surface of Mars that they are calling one of the most important finds toward the concept of inhabiting the planet.
According to the latest study published in the journal Science, researchers have discovered mammoth ice sheets around 300 feet below the surface of Mars that could change everything. The document suggests that these frozen reservoirs have the capacity to provide humans with a limitless supply of water, if and when we ever call the Red Planet our new home. Sure, this is not the first time a gang of star nerds with access U.S. Satellites has emerged with evidence of water on Mars. But it is the first discovery of its kind that proves that long-term sustainability is well within reach. Some would even say this find puts us one step closer to growing weed in a new world.
“The discovery reported today gives us surprising windows where we can see right into these thick underground sheets of ice,” said lead study author Shane Byrne of the Lunar and Planetary Laboratory at the University of Arizona. “It’s like having one of those ant farms where you can see through the glass on the side to learn about what’s usually hidden beneath the ground.”
There is a wealth of important information that Earthly scientists will be able to obtain by exploring the ice masses beneath the Martian surface. It is possible that the layers could provide them with details about the planet’s climate history and help establish a more accurate portrait of life on Mars before anyone is ever catapulted into space for the journey of 33 million miles. It is also conceivable that this water source will make it easier for astronauts to finally make the first mission to the planet. With the planet having its own water source, space expeditions will not have to concern themselves with traveling with an overabundance of water. Instead, that weight can be replaced with fuel. Scientists have been at the drawing board for years trying to solve the fuel (weight) problem. This discovery could be part of the solution.
The proactive cannabis enthusiast is not about to let the world erupt into a frenzy of death and destruction without finding a way to cultivate marijuana after the dust finally settles.
Scientists Mike Dixon and his team at Guelph’s Controlled Environment Systems Research Facility are already working on a special contraption designed to grow weed on in the extreme conditions found on Mars. The unit is a climate-controlled chamber that gives sensitive plant life the type of environment they need to flourish.
Considering that Mars dips down to temperatures around negative 125 degree Celsius, this progressive group of stoners understands the importance getting cannabis space ready.
“Our entire program is based on having to go to the Moon and Mars, and having to grow plants for human life support,” Dixon said. “All the technologies required to [grow vegetables on Mars] are being deployed in the service of growing really good marijuana.”
Last year, Anheuser-Busch announced that it intends to bring beer to the Red Planet. The brewer has promised that when the time comes to rebuild our civilization on Mars, the people will have bottles of Budweiser to help them forget just how much it sucks that they fucked things up here on Earth and are now forced to live in surroundings that make Siberia look like Miami Beach.
Fortunately, the scientific minds of the cannabis world have our backs. Dixon predicts that within the next 100 years, there will be no issue growing cannabis plants on Mars. He admits, however, that it will take some time before there are fields of the herb growing around the planet. But those who make the decision to be among the first citizens to make a new life in this foreign world will have not a shortage of weed.
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