A yet-to-be-identified, ought-to-be-on-the-run UK man is now wanted by police—a jacket he picked up after messaging a woman on a dating site.
The always-classy, never-trashy UK Sun brings us the tabloid-worthy tale of “Anna Whittaker”—not her real name; she’s been granted a pseudonym to protect her safety—and the man who messaged her on the Plenty of Fish dating website.
Whittaker, 28, is a “recently single” mother of one who lives in Bristol in the UK.
A few weeks removed from a break-up with a cheating military man and “looking for romance” on the website, she received a one-word message from a male user that “shocked” her, she claimed.
“Stunning,” the message read, according to the paper.
For many dating app or website users, such an unsolicited compliment would be a decided improvement over the flurry of unsolicited dick pics, or immediate, urgent propositions that are the accepted perils of online dating.
But Anna wasn’t feeling it.
This fellow looked like a “thug”—strike one—but after she browsed the man’s profile, she saw he’d posted some pictures of him posing with rolls of banknotes and bags of “super strong skunk weed,” or what most Americans would call “cannabis.”
Strike two, and Anna was out—and on the phone to the police.
“So I checked out his profile and saw all these pictures of drugs and wads of cash—it looked like about £20,000 in cash and thousands of pounds worth of cannabis in a bag,” she told the tabloid.
(For the record, a turkey bag is lucky to contain one pound.)
“I just found it so funny,” she went on, “because he must be the world’s stupidest drug dealer to have all these pictures on a Plenty of Fish profile. I just couldn’t stop laughing.”
Police confirmed to the newspaper that they received Anna’s tip and that they are investigating.
In the meantime, the newspaper is asking its readers to check out the photos of the man and dime him out—because, presumably, the newspaper has nothing better to do.
Other highlights from the wanted man-about-town’s profile: He drives a Volkswagen. He has a gold chain. He clearly has money—and weed. He graduated high school, his job is “pay my bills” and he says he’s highly ambitious.
He also claims to be drug-free.
For his sake, we hope he is by the time police catch up to him after his unfortunate drug-related public shaming at the hands of one of the world’s most “respectable” newspapers.
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