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Smoke The Vote!

Bobby dreams of painting the White House black.

At the Cannabis Cup last November, my friends Gary and Matt from 420 Jars surprised me with an awesome gift: a batch of “Bobby Black for President” buttons they’d made for me. Naturally I was flattered, but thought of it as a mere novelty. The next day onstage, I jokingly announced my candidacy and declared Pot Star as my running mate. It wasn’t until a month later—after a enjoying a few special holiday cookies—that I was inspired to use this as an opportunity to make a real political statement. So…while I’m not actually running for president, I thought I’d lay out some of the philosophical principles that my platform might consist of if I were running.

Sure, I’m in favor of a rapid withdrawal from Iraq, universal health care and a woman’s right to choose, but so are most Democrats. What separates me from the political pack is my “campaign” theme of informed personal liberty and responsibility. The following are the main tenets of my political agenda:

Legalize drugs. Yes, all of them. And not just for medicinal use, but for spiritual and recreational use as well. True, hard drugs can ruin lives and should never be abused. But prohibition simply doesn’t work—it never has. The illegality of the drug trade generates unspeakable violence and empowers gangsters. I say, tax and regulate the flow and quality of drugs; abolish mandatory-minimum sentences; let all the people arrested for marijuana and simple possession charges out of prison; and convert the DEA into a counterterrorism task force. Honestly, who would you rather see behind bars—some harmless stoner, or Osama bin Laden?

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