White House Opposes Republicans Against Reefer Reform

The White House is not pleased with the Republican-led attempt at sabotaging a recently passed law to decriminalize marijuana in Washington D.C. In a statement released on Monday, the Obama Administration said that the District of Columbia’s decision to strip away criminal penalties associated with the possession of small amounts of marijuana is a “states’ rights” issue and should not be subject to interference.

Earlier last month, Republican Representative Andy Harris of Maryland introduced an amendment that would prevent the District from decriminalizing marijuana by prohibiting the use of funds for that purpose. However, the Obama staff said it does not support Harris’ underhanded actions, which were adopted on June 25 by the House Appropriations Committee, and could serve as a razor-sharp guillotine for the District’s attempt at sensible marijuana reform.

“The Administration strongly opposes the language in the bill preventing the District from using its own local funds to carry out locally- passed marijuana policies, which again undermines the principles of States’ rights and of District home rule,” reads the White House Statement of Administration Policy. “Furthermore, the language poses legal challenges to the Metropolitan Police Department’s enforcement of all marijuana laws currently in force in the District.”

Although the D.C. Council approved the measure to decriminalize marijuana, which was signed into law in April by Mayor Vincent Gray, District regulations forced the measure to go before Congress for 60 days before it could receive federal approval. Most D.C. marijuana advocates, including District Delegate Eleanor Holmes Norton, felt confident the law would pass without any issue. Now, Holmes, among other disheartened supporters of decriminalization, are left wanting to string Harris up by his pinky toe and flog him with boots covered in the fecal remnants of his jackass bloodline.

The District’s decriminalization law is expected to go into effect on Thursday, but there is speculation the House Republicans will attempt to saw the measure off at the neck by attaching Harris’ amendment to their pick of federal spending bills slated for approval this year.

“That Congressman Andy Harris would try to kill D.C.’s efforts to stop arresting people for marijuana possession is beyond disturbing,” Dr. Malik Burnett, with the Drug Policy Alliance, said in a statement. “This amendment is an affront to the District’s right to home rule, while ensuring that thousands of District residents continue to be arrested and suffer the collateral consequences associated with a criminal record. Congress should be following D.C.’s example and end racist marijuana arrest policies, instead of defying the will of the people and reversing their decision,” he added.