Radical Rant: How to Be a Legal Pot Smoker in 10 States

How would you like to be absolutely protected from arrests, tickets and fines for smoking marijuana in 20 percent of the United States?

Now, you can be free from criminal prosecution for your pot smoking in as little as 15 minutes!

Sound too good to be true? Not if you’ve got $50 and a laptop.

First, if you’re over the age of 21, you’re already 40 percent there. You’re already legal to smoke pot in Alaska, Colorado, Oregon and Washington. You can have an ounce on you at all times and go to a pot shop and buy marijuana.

Your next step, then, is to get yourself a medical marijuana recommendation. While there are 23 states and Washington D.C. that have medical marijuana programs, it’s not going to be easy to get that recommendation—except in California.

What’s that, you live thousands of miles away from California? Don’t be discouraged. That’s where your laptop comes in.

All you need to do is get on the internet and find a website that offers California medical marijuana recommendations online.

You will have to fill out a short online form with your name and mailing address, which does not have to be a California address.

You do have to check a box on the form indicating that you are currently in California, because the doctors can only issue recommendations to people in California. So whatever you do, don’t just go ahead and click “next” on that form until you’ve packed up your laptop and flown to California.

Next, you’ll fill in your credit or debit card information to pay your $49 fee. By email, you’ll receive a link to click that installs a little web conferencing application.

Once your audio and video are connected, you’ll be joined by a receptionist who will ask you where you are calling from. You should definitely tell the truth about the city in California where you’re using your laptop, since they aren’t validating which state you’re currently in through the internet.

Then, you’ll be joined online by the doctor. He or she will evaluate that the words you typed on the online form are dictionary-defined medical conditions. Since you weren’t required to provide any medical records, the doctor will ask you about your medical conditions. You should honestly repeat back some of those words you typed in your response.

That’s the examination. Not only does the online doctor mail you your laminated medical marijuana ID card, but they also email to you a letter bearing the doctor’s signature, indicating that he or she has determined you suffer from one of those words you typed and that cannabis is an appropriate medicine for you to use.

There you go.

You’re now protected and shopping in five states, the whole West Coast and Colorado, as well as protected in Washington, D.C. However, your new card also means you’re protected in five more states. Arizona, Maine, Michigan, Nevada and New Hampshire all recognize out-of-state medical marijuana cards, though Arizona and Maine won’t let you go shopping with your out-of-state card.

As a bonus, if one of the words you put down is a qualifying condition in the state of Rhode Island, you’re protected there, too. And starting in 2018, Hawaii will recognize your card.

So keep renewing your card online each year, and in a couple of years you could be a protected pot smoker in a dozen states.

(Photo Courtesy of Radio Netherlands Worldwide)