For reasons best known to their very strange selves, the DEA recently declassified and released an intelligence report with hundreds of slang code terms relating to just about every drug you can imagine.
Most of the nicknames for marijuana are nothing less than wacky. Some harken back to our high school days; some back to our great grandparents.
But, hey, what does one expect from an agency whose development is so arrested that it ranks weed as a dangerous drug with no medical benefits in the face of growing evidence to the contrary?
One has to wonder, though, how the DEA came up with these 250 insanely ridiculous terms for weed?
Some are just strain names, but most seem to have been pulled out a hat, the Mad Hatter’s hat, that is.
Come on, Smoochy Woochy Poochy?
The list itself reveals the agency has lost its grasp on reality, if it ever had one.
Bambalachacha? Apart from the DEA’s list, the word appears in a 2007 entry on Urban Dictionary, as well as a few other obscure places. Has anyone ever heard it refer to pot?
Booty Juice, which is defined by the Urban Dictionary as a medication given to psychiatric patients or “the personal possession of having a good butt.” Okay, the latter makes a bit more sense, but still has nothing to do with cannabis.
Good Giggles: Maybe someone’s term in high school, but the nickname only appears online in the context of “giggle smoke” and “giggle weed,” which could be related to Joy Smoke. Both terms aren’t too far off the mark, but has anyone ever used them to refer to weed?
Love Nuggets. Okay, buds are often called “nugs,” but we’ve never heard this variation.
Then there’s Creeper Bud; Crippy; Crying Weed; Dew; Dimba; Dinkie Dow; Dirt Grass; Dizz; Djamba; Dody; Dojo; Domestic; Donna Juana; Downtown Brown; Drag Weed; Green Skunk; Grenuda; Greta; Guardada; Gunga; Hairy Ones; Hawaiian; Hay; Hierba; Holy Grail; Hooch; Humo; Hydro; Indian Boy; Indian Hay; Jane; Jive; Jolly Green; Jon-Jem; Juan Valdez; and on and on.
Read the list and weep—or laugh.
But then ask yourself: Why are our tax dollars paying for this inept government agency, when we could be investing in serious MMJ research and saving lives?