A contested election, rising cases, and a total lack of a clear plan from leadership has us once again under a ‘stay at home’ order in California. While this homebody isn’t complaining about having to order takeout every night, we’ve all had more than our fair shares of stress and anxiety this year, and unfortunately it seems like the holidays aren’t going to be the much needed reset we’re all accustomed to. As such, Santa Jon has decided you’ve all been excellent boys and girls this year…and deserve another Quarantine Cop List filled with dope shit to treat yo’ self with.
Although this is definitely polarizing to many bud loyalists, there has been a rise in the number of players targeting the ‘ready to roll’ pre-ground space right now and frankly I’m here for it. While we all love the convenience of things like prerolls, there’s been a negative connotation around shake packs. Let me just go on record as saying that’s silly. Sure, some brands have made their space pushing low-end outdoor products in this style, and yeah, there’s going to be some leaves and stems to remove. But newcomer ‘Screaming Trumpets’ have seriously stepped up the experience. Dropping 10g tins that include papers and matches, the quality of this pre-ground stands significantly above the others targeting this space right now and frankly, they are just so damn convenient. For those like me that always prefer to roll their own (not hating, prerolls!) there simply isn’t an easier way to roll on the go.
I know we’re just about done with Hanukkah, but I would be remiss if I left this bad boy off the list. If you’re celebrating the festival of lights (or did), Grav’s Menorah bong is a must-add to your holiday collection. This 8-bowl bubbler has amazing function regardless of whether or not you’re one of the chosen people, and while it’s a great way to celebrate…it’s also a macrodoser’s dream way to get high! If you’re true to the spirit like me, you’ll pack up one extra bowl a day so it’s almost like a training device. By the eighth day, you’re ready to smoke out the whole pipe!
Jam Master Jays
Not going to lie, I haven’t had a chance to try this product yet, but boy am I excited that it exists. As a New Yorker, anything Run DMC immediately gets me hyped. But what they’ve done to break the Jam Master Jay into cannabis is nothing short of legendary. The first product, Jam Master Jays, while not only brilliantly named, has, in my opinion, the best packaging we’ve seen yet in this space. Fashioned to look JUST like a cassette tape from back in the day, this four-joint pack holds 2 grams of premium flower—and though I haven’t tried it, word on the street is that these things HIT. Available exclusively through Cookies right now (although they quickly sell out whenever they drop), this brand has me so hyped I’m actually going to go wait in line to buy weed—that may actually sell out before my turn, no less!
Crip A Cola & Blood Pop
As a big RTJ fan, earlier this year when Netflix released Trigger Warning with Killer Mike, of course I was quick to tune in. While the series itself was aces (if you haven’t yet, watch it!) one episode in particular really resonated with my soda junkie self, and that was the Bloods & Crips episode. In an effort to legitimize the culture and provide meaningful infrastructure to the long-running organizations, Killer Mike helped local chapters of the Bloods and Crips gangs to set up rival soda companies to truly take their brands to the streets. Now, while I’m an Exotic Pop fan to begin with, I can’t understate how good these products are—and how much better they are for you comparatively to the big players in the space.
Redline Reserve Rock Star
One of the latest drops from Dr. Greenthumb’s own Redline Reserve, Rock Star is sure to be a crowd pleaser. Bred by crossing OG Kush with OZK, Ray Rice and Blueberry, this potent strain is a bit of a mutt that will not only leave your head in the clouds, but the taste will surely linger on your tongue. This is especially important for those of us that like consuming within tobacco wraps, as backwoods especially have a tendency to drown out the taste of your buds. Have no fear, as Redline Reserve is here to make sure your blunt is filled with dank you can taste as much as you will feel. Graced with BReal front and center on the mylar, I’ve got a feeling these bags are going to be making their way around the country before long…
Edie Parker Vape Line
I haven’t been much of a vape guy lately, but the new Edie Parker vape line has certainly been changing that for me. Since receiving their new line, each strain of which mixes CBD and THC to find the perfect buzz, I’ve been pretty hooked on these things. Available in cultivars labeled by time of day instead of strain name, these Early Bird, Happiest Hour, and Nightcap titles are true to their names. I’m not usually one for ‘mood titles’, but the Early Bird has actually been my first hit of the morning the past few weeks, and the Nightcap truly puts me down in the evenings, so while I can pretend to complain that I don’t know the actual strains included in the pen, this is probably more helpful in the long run.
Like a breath mint for your mind. If you’re not familiar with Click Spray yet, allow me to put you on. These little triangular tubes are a fast acting mouth spray that hits you with a microdose of cannabinoids that you will feel almost instantly. Available across 4 lines (Go, Restore, Chill and Dream), the first thing you’ll notice about this product is that (especially for a sublingual) they’re surprisingly delicious. The second thing you’ll notice is the impact. Honestly, I rarely feel anything under 5 mg, but after a few clicks of this you will definitely notice a difference. Further, I’m not sure this is something the brand can actually claim, but for those of us that aren’t phased by microdoses know this: cracking open one of these guys and chugging will couch lock you for SURE.
PLUS Strains Gummies
I know I was just super positive on the mood labels a bit further up this piece but I’m also very excited to see edibles brands focusing more on the products that are going into their goods. We’ve seen it happen a few times lately, but I am SUPER impressed with PLUS’ roll-out of their strain-specific gummies. Including Pineapple Express, Lemon Jack, and my personal favorite, Grandaddy Purple, these gummies are true to the taste you would expect from each of these terp profiles, with 5 mg of THC and less than 1g of sugar or carbs per gummy. While the last part is the least important factor for me, as sugar is good, it felt important to include for those of you that care more about what you ingest than I do!
We’ve all had flowers delivered to a special person in our lives before, but what if I told you that now there’s a way to take that sweet moment to the next level? Well friends, allow me to introduce you to Lovepot, the bouquets that include smokable flowers. Available in ‘Dime Bag’ (small), ‘The Eighth’ (medium), and ‘The Ounce’ (large), these bouquets can be as large or as small as you want them and include smokable CBD hemp, which, while it won’t get you high in the way you’re thinking, is a great way to evolve the marketplace and provide a memorable experience for that special someone.
I got some heat for this piece last week when my review ran, but I want to double down on Jay-Z’s entrance into the industry here because I really do believe having a player like him in the space will elevate the game for all of us. The cold truth of it is, while it may not be the rapper weed many expected from HOV, what Monogram has created is nothing short of a best in class experience. While sure, not designed for true connoisseurs, the Monogram Direct-to-Consumer experience, and frankly next level packaging, have solved two of the largest issues still plaguing the industry today with it’s entrance into the arena, and if you think about the consumer that would actually pay the premium for something like this, it makes sense. Say what you will about the bud, and sure, it can ALWAYS be better—but for the first play, and for the guy that acquired Ace of Spades (do you guys think that’s connoisseur’s champagne, or just champagne for rich people?), I’m actually excited that the weed is better than I was expecting. And let’s not forget, everything can be improved over time. I for one can’t wait to see what else Rocnation’s got up their sleeves, and while I understand the lifers in this space who are frustrated with newcomers trying to capitalize on it, remember that the proliferation of cannabis (especially as a major industry) is good news for us all. We know you’ve got better firepower; now let’s see you create a better business!