SHUT UP, Counterpoint: You Shut Up

A one-act play about the cannabis industry.
Shut
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INSTAGRAM POST 7:42pm 

@420FORLYFE posts a picture of them and their mom holding gummies.

Caption: Got my mom to try an Indica gummy for sleep!🍬🍬

Comments

@CannaLoverrrr: No such thing as Indica. All weed is so modified now so those terms are meaningless.

@420ForLyfe replies: But, I’ve tried sativas, and they’ve made my heart race. 

@CannaLoverrrr: Just trying to help. I swear to G*d, every time misinformation like the term indica is used it takes us five steps back.

I think it’s a great way to explain the effects of weed to someone like my mom who doesn’t know anything, but is curious. 

I guess if you want to lie to your mom go ahead.

I don’t want to lie to my mom. Shut up.

You shut up.

What should I say?

I don’t know your mom.

Right, but if I shouldn’t use those terms what should I use?

You have to teach her about the endocannabinoid system, terpenes, indoor vs sun grown.

She doesn’t want to learn all that.

Well, I’m not gonna do the research for her!

She just wants to try some weed to sleep better.

Then she needs a high-CBN strain.

I know that.

Doubtful.

I just wanted to share a pic of me taking an edible with my mom before we watch Death Becomes Her.

Devil Wears Prada is better.

Are you out of your mind? Goldie Hawn, Isabella Rossellini, Bruce Willis… meanwhile Adrian Grenier’s character suuuuuucks.

The cerulean scene is iconic. 

True, but that’s it.

And when Meryl Streep says, “Why is no one readddddy?”

Death Becomes Her is about America’s obsession with external validation, and how it destroys us. DWPrada is about how external validation will make you a global success!

Why do you hate America?

I didn’t say that.

You inferred it.

Yes, please explain to me what I meant like you’re explaining weed to me – BTW I own my own company.

For someone who hates DWPrada you sound a lot like Miranda Presley.

You don’t even know me. I cannot wait for this edible to kick in so I can chill the f out.

I always take fast acting.

CoOoOoool.

I was just trying to help. We want the same thing, a successful industry with fair-access for all.

I want that, but you sound like a whining Bruce Willis in Death Becomes Her.

I was just trying to have a conversation about cannabis classification, not argue about 90’s movies. 

I don’t want to do either. Everyone like you in our industry loves to focus on short-term details instead long-term goals. 

Short-term details create long-term goals.

Sure, but when you do nothing but argue about the small stuff you can’t achieve the big ideas.

This is going nowhere. I was just trying to help. Bye.

“You should not compete with me. I always win.” – Meryl Streep as Madeline Ashton in Death Becomes Her, the better movie.

The Next Day

INSTAGRAM POST 10:31am

@CANNALOVERRRR posts a picture of their flourishing home grow.

Caption: My babies are growing up so fast!

Comments

@420ForLyfe: WOW. Coming at me for saying Indica, and you’re dumb enough to post your home grow!🤦‍♀️

@Cannaloverrrr: Sounds like you need more sleep.

Hope you have a gun.

I don’t, why?

$2000 in equip and plants. Home grows get robbed all the time.

Never even shot a gun.

Ok, Elitist. 

Home grow is crucial as we fight for decrim.

They also endanger neighborhoods, and destroy the climate. Look. It. Up.

Are you saying home grow is bad?

I’m saying you should support small farms – regulated, quality controlled, and good for the economy.

As a med patient on a fixed income I need to grow my own.

That’s why we must fight to change tax regs.

Re: quality control, I’ve been growing for six years and know what I’m doing.

I’d never give my mom your unregulated closet weed.

Your mom aint getting none. BTW nothing good is getting done while we fight with each other on here.

I’m just sayin’ buy a gun. 

Let me guess, if we all had guns no one would use them?

Not only that, but if we think beyond guns and focus on new tech we can compete with China.

What new tech?

Laser eyes. 

Laser eyes?

Especially at schools.

You want our teachers –

And kids to have laser eyes. 

So no home grow, but everyone has laser eyes?

And, America corners the ancillary market of manufacturing and selling visors made out of ruby quartz so we can control our lasers. 

Are you talking about Cyclops?

Yea that was a test to see if you like X-Men, and unlike you I wanna support small farms.

So do I.

When you make a frozen pizza do you still pay Dominos?

No. 

That’s the same as not supporting small farms! 

Agree to disagree.

Would you say we’re not seeing eye to laser eye?

I would.

Glad we agree on that.

Guess we’re making progress.

No we aren’t. 

I was being sarcastic. 

I’m joking. OMG you are dumb. I’m gonna Nightcrawler outta here. BAMF✌️

TWO DAYS LATER

INSTAGRAM POST 9:01am

@HighTimesMagazine posts a picture of Brittney Griner’s drug conviction.

Caption: De-nied. A Russian court on Tuesday shut down #BrittneyGriner’s appeal

Comments

@420ForLyfe: She has to live with the consequences of her actions.

@Cannaloverrrr: No one should be in prison nine years on some carts.

In America, yes, but IT’S RUSSIA.

Biden should do everything he can to bring her home.

He’s not even doing everything he can to free all non-violent offenders in jail here.

He’s working on it. 

You love Biden, Home Grow Boi.😶‍🌫️

“Let’s go Brandon!” – You (and your mom), probably.

Biden’s doing the bare minimum just for votes.

That’s how politics works.

He created the worst parts of the War on Drugs.

People change.

Sheeple follow.

It’s a start.

Anyway, Brittney fucked around and found out.

We need to fund MMJ research for athletes.

It’s not celeb athletes that need help, it’s veterans.

It’s everyone. 

Agree, but none of this will matter once Big Pharma comes in.

To combat that we need fair banking for small businesses.

First we need lab testing regs so people can’t fudge their THC numbers.

THC doesn’t matter. Terps do. It’s bad you don’t know that.

What’s bad is these rich, bad actors who steal shine from people actually doing the work.

Not to mention all these millionaires coming in who know nothing about the plant.

That’s because it’s an industry not a community.

It’s actually a community being ruined by industry.

It’s both but it dont matter cuz we’re circling the drain here arguing while people with lobbyist money make decisions without us.

Truth. How was Death Becomes Her?

We fell asleep watching a nature doc when the Indica (that’s right I said INDICA) edibles kicked in.

Watching nature docs high rocks.

It was about this snake in the Amazon rainforest that ran out of food because of deforestation, and ate its own tail.

Actually a snake can’t eat its own tail.

Is this you explaining Indica to me all over again?

Technically, eating means to chew, and snakes swallow their prey whole.

So the snake is swallowing its own tail?

Yes.

Kinda feels like our industry.

Agreed.

Agreed.

At least we solved that. 🤝

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