High Times Greats: A Christmas Carol By Truman Capote As Told To Andy Warhol

In the “Opinion” section of the December, 1978 edition of High Times, famed writer Truman Capote (1924 – 1984) chats with art-world legend Andy Warhol (1928 – 1987) about what they want for Christmas.

Merry Christmas…

AW: So do you know what you want for Xmas?

TC: Well, first of all, I don’t want anything for myself at Xmas, I think that’s very selfish and what not. I know what I want for other people.

• For Jackie Kennedy I want a sex-change operation. The reason is that since the American people must have a Kennedy, I’d rather have a Jackie than a Teddy.
• I want for Timothy Leary justice at last, a ten-year full professorship at Harvard.
• For Richard Avedon, I hope his portrait of Kate Graham finally makes the cover of Newsweek. You know, they took a picture of him for the cover of Newsweek and then discarded it because I don’t know…the Pope died or something.
• For Gore Vidal, because of his great politics, I wish him an ambassadorship to Paraguay…and hope he stays there forever.
• For Larry Flynt, the newborn Christian, I want him to be made first ambassador to the Vatican.
• For Norman Mailer, I want a five-million-dollar contract to rewrite the old Tenth Amendment.
• For Mick Jagger, in his old age, the directorship of the Metropolitan Opera.
• For Andy Warhol, at all times, the directorship of the Metropolitan Museum and all its branches.
• For Anita Bryant, I want her to be appointed editor of the Advocate.
• For Steve Rubell [owner of Studio 54], I want him to be appointed ambassador to the court of St. James.
• For Muhammad Ali, I want him to be our first black president.
• For Ralph Nader, a wife at last, none other than little Anne Ford.

Joy to the World…

AW: Is high society really high?

TC: I wouldn’t know, I never met anyone from high society. I think high society is a complete myth, made up from the movies. When Joan Crawford died, so did high society.

Amen…

AW. Do you think everything in the world should be legal?
TC: Yes, I do, except murder.