D.A.R.E. Falls for Outrageous Anti-Pot Satire

Anyone born after 1983 has likely had a D.A.R.E. representative, usually a local police officer, visit their sixth grade classroom with charts, reports and generally frightening, and often erroneous, information about drugs. The effectiveness of the D.A.R.E. (Drug Abuse Resistance Education) program, founded by the late ex-LAPD chief Daryl Gates, has been challenged over the years, and now a thorough study by the National Center for Biotechnology Information has concluded that “D.A.R.E. is ineffective.”

It seems D.A.R.E. has come full circle and is a joke…or at least cannot distinguish what is a joke.

“Marijuana candies, sold on the street as ‘Uncle Tweety’s Chewy Flipper’ and ‘Gummy Satans’ are taking the country by storm,” read a news story on D.A.R.E.’s website recently.

When writer of the Washington Post’s Wonkblog called to ask about the posting, D.A.R.E. quickly removed it with no comment, but the story was preserved by the Internet Archive.

And it gets better.

“It is sad that in a country as developed as America, such third world drugs such as marijuana are allowed to exist,” the story’s anonymous author wrote. “Children are being addicted to marijuana. I knew this day would come, when a liberal president allowed a state to legally sell Marijuana Flintstone Vitamins to children.”

The fake article goes on to make outright ridiculous claims, which D.A.R.E. reposted word for word in its desperate attempt to latch on to any article showing the evils of marijuana.

“Marijuana. It is one of the most dangerous drugs on Earth.”

“For every one joint of marijuana, four teenagers become burdened with pregnancy.”

Violent crimes, low testosterone, fits of primal aggression, heart issues, COPD, etc. are all the results of smoking pot, according to the hilarious satirical posting.

In 2012, the Obama administration ended the “National Drug Abuse Resistance Education Day,” but D.A.R.E. continues to receive funding from the Justice Department, Department of State and numerous other government agencies, corporations and foundations.