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Mischief Not Managed: Real Harry Potter Busted for Pot

Photo Courtesy of the National Museum of American History via Wikimedia

Will the real Harry Potter please get off your Firebolt and show the officer the contents of your Hogwart’s backpack?!?

A 19-year-old muggle in York, England, whose parents obviously named him after the most famous wizard in the world, was recently arrested for possessing and selling weed.

Harry Potter was stopped in January when a local officer from the Department of Magical Enforcement—or a British bobby—noticed “a strong smell of cannabis” as the teenager whizzed by on his moped.

According to UK Metro News, after flagging down Potter’s motorbike, the officer searched him and found three wraps of cannabis and £70 (about $90) in cash.

How a police officer connected the possession of such a small amount of weed and $90 with “an intent to supply” is anyone’s guess.

But Harry got arrested, and they threw the book at him when his case was sent to the York Crown Court.

At Potter’s disciplinary hearing, before the judge last week, the apparently courteous young man pleaded guilty to possessing a class B drug with intent to supply.

Harry’s lawyer, Jane Maloney, said her client had been very frank with the police in interviews and had made an early guilty plea. He had no previous convictions.

Apparently, Potter had been dabbling in the cannabis-sharing arts for a while, according to his own confession.

Nevertheless, Maloney argued that Harry was not actually dealing because he did not financially gain from selling weed. He was just procuring pot for himself and a bit extra for his school friends, whom he charged the same price he paid.

The York District Judge saw it differently.

He told Potter and his lawyer that the case had to be sent to the higher court (no pun intended) for sentencing. The judge also requested a pre-sentence report for Potter, on an “all options” basis, meaning he could still face a prison sentence.

If the Brits ever decide to legalize weed and Harry Potter is given a chance, his entrepreneurial possibilities could be endless. Consider nominative determinism.  

No, it is not a term from Hogwart’s School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, but it almost could be.

Indeed, nominative determinism is the hypothesis, first used in the New Scientist in 1994, that people tend to gravitate towards areas of work that fit their names.

Potter’s famous name (imagine the company logo) could certainly work to his benefit if he ever opens a dispensary, weed delivery service or any pot-related company.

Harry Potter—the muggle, not the head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement —will be sentenced on May 4, so stay tuned.

[Editor’s Note: If you haven’t already read Cursed Child, then you’re not a big enough fan to be upset by that minute spoiler. Also, while I’m at it, J.K. Rowling, if you’re out there, High Times would never say no to an interview…]

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